Challenged To Win

16 – SUFFERING – CTW-2022-E

 

16 – SUFFERING – CTW-2022-E

CHALLENGED TO WIN by Gregory Fernandez

Chapter 16 – SUFFERING ­ WHAT BOTH NEED TO KNOW

Let us be clear there are more reasons for Suffering. Let me list out a few:

1. God is training people. We may perceive these are difficult and feel we are suffering. Look at Sports training or military training. The trainees walk, run, swim, hike, carry weights etc., to toughen them up. The intricate work is not for punishment but for practice. Suffering is a way to understand how to make things work in God’s way.

 

2. We have emotions and feelings and other factors; we need to train to get along with others who also have the same characteristics. Some adjustments got to be understood, then adjusted to and mastered harmoniously. Until we gain mastery, we will do things that cause suffering. Here, Suffering is not a punishment but a practice ground for interpersonal relationships.

Until you understand these two purposes of Suffering, you will struggle as you would in a worthless fight.

When you understand the purpose of Suffering, your time and effort will have meaning, like HOW. And HOW TO SUCCEED and HOW to GAIN MASTERY IN GOD’S WAY.

Once you get the HOW idea, the goal is to OVERCOME and STAND ABOVE THE PROBLEMS.

Then life on EARTH becomes a success.

But there is also a divine angle.

TO REACH HEAVEN AND BE WITH GOD FOR ALL ETERNITY.

TO REGAIN AND RELIVE THE LOST PARADISE IN OUR LIFE.

OK, let us get going with conquering the HOW.

—-

HEBREWS 12:5-7,11-13

5 AND YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN THE EXHORTATION WHICH SPEAKS TO YOU AS TO SONS:

“MY SON, DO NOT DESPISE THE CHASTENING OF THE LORD,

NOR BE DISCOURAGED WHEN YOU ARE REBUKED BY HIM;

6 FOR WHOM THE LORD LOVES HE CHASTENS,

AND SCOURGES EVERY SON WHOM HE RECEIVES.”

7 IF YOU ENDURE CHASTENING, GOD DEALS WITH YOU AS WITH SONS; FOR WHAT SON IS THERE WHOM A FATHER DOES NOT CHASTEN?

 —

HEBREWS 12:11-13

11 NOW NO CHASTENING SEEMS TO BE JOYFUL FOR THE PRESENT, BUT PAINFUL; NEVERTHELESS, AFTERWARD IT YIELDS THE PEACEABLE FRUIT OF RIGHTEOUSNESS TO THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN TRAINED BY IT.

RENEW YOUR SPIRITUAL VITALITY

12 THEREFORE STRENGTHEN THE HANDS WHICH HANG DOWN, AND THE FEEBLE KNEES,

13 AND MAKE STRAIGHT PATHS FOR YOUR FEET, SO THAT WHAT IS LAME MAY NOT BE DISLOCATED, BUT RATHER BE HEALED.

—-

In a somewhat lighter alternate text would be:

HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THAT ENCOURAGING TEXT IN WHICH YOU ARE ADDRESSED AS SONS? MY SON, WHEN THE LORD CORRECTS YOU, DO NOT TREAT IT LIGHTLY; BUT DO NOT GET DISCOURAGED WHEN HE REPRIMANDS YOU. FOR THE LORD TRAINS THE ONES THAT HE LOVES AND HE PUNISHES ALL THOSE THAT HE ACKNOWLEDGES AS HIS SONS. SUFFERING IS PART OF YOUR TRAINING; GOD IS TREATING YOU AS HIS SONS. HAS THERE EVER BEEN ANY SON WHOSE FATHER DID NOT TRAIN HIM?

OF COURSE, ANY PUNISHMENT IS MOST PAINFUL AT THE TIME, AND FAR FROM PLEASANT; BUT LATER, IN THOSE ON WHOM IT HAS BEEN USED, IT BEARS FRUIT IN PEACE AND GOODNESS. SO HOLD UP YOUR LIMP ARMS AND STEADY YOUR TREMBLING KNEES AND SMOOTH OUT THE PATH YOU TREAD; THEN THE INJURED LIMB WILL NOT BE WRENCHED, IT WILL GROW STRONG AGAIN.

 

God intended that man be happy with Him in this life and the next.

But unfortunately, the devil does everything to prevent man from being happy in this life and the next, so he tempts people to sin. Sin then brings Suffering.

The TEMPTATION caused suffering works as follows:

a. Suffering is caused by human faults like smoking, drinking, lack of self-control, respect for God, etc.

b. It could also be because of God’s divine plan.

 

If the fault is ours, we should correct it in the first case. Then, God’s guidance and help are necessary.

In the second case, we need God’s wisdom to understand and help manage it and how He wants us to overcome it.

We also need God’s wisdom to understand the line separating the two.

 

No matter how good the Partners are, how holy they are and how well provided, some suffering will still be a part of their lives.   Generally, when Suffering comes along, one of the first reactions is finding the cause or attributing a reason.   Finding the cause is Human Nature.

Let us take a closer look at Suffering:  Suffering, like death, is a respecter of no one.   It visits everyone ­ the rich and the poor experience it, the young and the old experience it; People in one Country or another cannot escape it.   Suffering is multifaceted; it can come in the form of Sickness, Financial difficulties, Relations problems, Anxiety, and Tension ­ there are many variations.   There is no escape from Suffering.   We may try to ward one variety of suffering off, but we cannot ward everything off for an indefinite time.

Suppose Suffering is so universal and so inevitable. We should try and understand something about this phenomenon. Otherwise, we are going to be unhappy. ­ It is also necessary to have the right attitude to cope.

­ It is essential not to degenerate the spouse into a convenient target if we still want to maintain a continued loving relationship with the spouse.   It is vital because we should understand that the partner is not the cause of Suffering.   They may happen to be the instrument which brings suffering about.   They may be feeling very miserable that they are in the role of producing Suffering.   If you go to see, Suffering does not need the help of your spouse to achieve its purpose. It can pick and choose from a variety of choices. It can come in the form of sickness, a Car accident, a natural calamity, an economic situation, or even a political crisis between two unrelated Countries etc.

For example, during World War 2, many countries suffered financial setbacks, even though they had no part in the war.   Belgium, Luxembourg, and Holland were neutral yet overrun.   The Swiss people in the tourist industry lost because there were no tourists.   Some had invested before the war with planned calculations for amortization.   The battle took six years plus some more years before people had spare money to go on holiday.   Many of these people did not have the financial capacity to sustain themselves till the economy changed for the better.

‘Suffering’ must have some purpose.   It cannot be so universal and have no purpose.   The mystery and purpose of Suffering is a vast topic and could quite easily cover many volumes.    I would only like to place two ideas before you that I found of particular interest concerning the context of this book:

 

1)         IN GENERAL:

Life is to be an education in Agape love. Therefore, all circumstances are permitted to come to humanity, whether of joy or sorrow. The lessons come in the full knowledge of God.   Nothing happens without His permission or behind His back.   Trials are a prerequisite for our efforts to reach Heaven.   The World is a school to learn and acquire Agape Love’s skills. The purpose is to teach and mature a person in love.

People do not lean on AGAPE love in Heaven.   ­ This may seem to be a startling statement, but if we come to think of it.   Heaven is no place to raise kids. First, because there is no more suffering, sorrow, crying or pain there (See REVELATIONS 21:4), No more foes to make us afraid, so no more tests, temptations, stress, strains, oppositions, or hindrances.   All these factors are necessary to mature us.   Take, for instance, a child protected from all these factors; what will happen?   The child’s development will first stagnate, and secondly, if the child does not get its way, it will throw tantrums and ultimately be unhappy because of the lack of personal achievement.

REVELATIONS 21:4

4 AND GOD WILL WIPE AWAY EVERY TEAR FROM THEIR EYES; THERE SHALL BE NO MORE DEATH, NOR SORROW, NOR CRYING. THERE SHALL BE NO MORE PAIN, FOR THE FORMER THINGS HAVE PASSED AWAY.”

 

We require a lifetime of sorrow, anguish, and disappointment to transform a person into the lofty likeness of the Lord. And to lead him into advanced degrees of maturity into Christ’s likeness and Agape love.

These maturing processes are not in Heaven.   Earth alone provides the kind of situations that produce mature Sainthood.

 

2)         Concerning marriage

The home is a logical place to begin learning agape love.   Marriage and the house are the centres of all human life on Earth.   It is a complete laboratory with all the stresses, strains, trials, and pressures packed under one roof.   Everything needed to produce Christlikeness in us can be found in the home.   In other words, the house is a miniature world.   It is, therefore, not only a logical place to bring the course in agape love. It is also the best place to learn it.   Learning about love is why God ordained the house and set the solitary families.   Marriage is the most stress-filled fact of life.   If the whole of life is stressed, then marriage is the centre of pressure.

We sometimes tend to feel that had we been married to someone else, things would not be how they are now.

­ We may think we have made the wrong choice and the supreme blunder of our lives.   But we should be clear that total avoidance of ‘Suffering’ and the ‘School of learning agape love is not about selecting the ‘right partner’.   So, with this view, we should reconsider life’s ups and downs with the partner that we now have. And forget about the fairy tale characters of Prince Charming and Mr Right, the Frog Prince, Miss Perfect and Princesses of one kind of imagination.

Almost without exception, there comes a time when a husband or wife will seriously ask the point-blank question:

• Have I married the wrong person?
• Would I have been happier with someone else?
• Have I made the blunder of my life by getting married?
• Any of these questions are an indication of Suffering.

 

The questions are not wrong; they are good because they make us aware that something is not going smoothly with our relationship.

 

One thing should become clear; we cannot remain in an indefinite state of keeping these questions before our minds.   Because, if unchecked, the feeling of sorrow, worthlessness and depression will strengthen its vice-like gripping further.   The only way to break these fetters will be to win a loving relationship with the person we married.   And thereby victoriously stamp over this aspect of Suffering.   The proposition is very bewildering.   It is not easy to love the same person we are seriously labelling as the cause of our misery.

 

Most people do not have a genuine living relationship with God.   Merely going to church on Sundays is not a living relationship with God.   At best, this form of churchgoing may be a duty, an obligation, a habit, or a routine.   Without a genuine religious belief to back us up, we feel even less equipped to tackle the storms that sufferings bring.    It is only natural to grab desperately for any straw within our reach.   For example, we look around for temporal and often physical remedies.   Or we look around furiously for the meaning of the question of Suffering.    Avoiding God would produce only shambles. And Suffering will linger as a taunting mystery.

 

Perhaps I could approach this point by telling you what prompted me to undertake this rather philosophical search.

 

There were these lonely and questioning moments that accompanied every marriage separation.   In my determination to find answers, I stumbled upon four Bible quotations.   Each one lent a different angle to the question of Suffering.   The first quotation put the meaning of suffering into something that I could understand and accept.   Searching for purpose gave me a reason to see adventure in wanting to overcome.   The second and third provided comfort and encouragement to continue, even though things seemed complicated.   And the fourth quotation foxed me completely.   These quotations helped me.

 

1. a) From ROMANS 5:3-5,

3 “WE ALSO REJOICE IN OUR SUFFERINGS, BECAUSE WE KNOW THAT SUFFERING PRODUCES PERSEVERANCE,

4  PERSEVERANCE PRODUCES CHARACTER AND CHARACTER PRODUCES HOPE.  

5  AND HOPE DOES NOT DISAPPOINT US, BECAUSE GOD HAS POURED OUT HIS LOVE.” (Agape love in our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

 

1. b) From PSALM 34:19

19 “MANY ARE THE AFFLICTIONS OF THE RIGHTEOUS.   BUT THE LORD DELIVERS HIM OUT OF THEM ALL.”

 

c) From I CORINTHIANS 10:13

13 “NO TEMPTATION HAS OVERTAKEN YOU EXCEPT SUCH IS COMMON TO MAN, BUT GOD IS FAITHFUL, WHO WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO BE TEMPTED BEYOND WHAT YOU ARE ABLE, BUT WITH THE TEMPTATION WILL ALSO BE THE WAY OF ESCAPE, THAT YOU MAY BE ABLE TO BEAR IT.”

 

d) From LUKE 6: 27-31,

27 “BUT I SAY TO YOU WHO HEAR: LOVE YOUR ENEMIES, DO GOOD TO THOSE WHO HATE YOU.  

28  BLESS THOSE WHO CURSE YOU, AND PRAY FOR THOSE WHO SPITEFULLY USE YOU.  

29  TO HIM WHO STRIKES YOU ON ONE CHEEK, OFFER THE OTHER ALSO.   AND FROM HIM WHO TAKES AWAY YOUR CLOCK, DO NOT WITHHOLD YOUR TUNIC EITHER.  

30  GIVE TO EVERYONE WHO ASKS OF YOU.   AND FROM HIM WHO TAKES AWAY YOUR GOODS DO NOT ASK THEM BACK.  

31  AND JUST AS YOU WANT MEN TO DO TO YOU, YOU ALSO DO TO THEM LIKEWISE.”

 

I began thinking of these four quotations as rafts in a stormy sea.

And I wondered why God allows much misery to fall on his believers.   After all, the reality of it is that Suffering produces discomfort.   If I could not find the answer, I began to doubt the adjective “Good”, which we assign to God.   Was it just the wishful attribute of unthinking people? For a long time, the answer evaded me.   Then one day, another question came my way: what are we here on Earth? Is it to become Rich? Or to build a factory, fight with someone or the other, have custody battles for Children, or is there some higher purpose to life?” I searched high and low in the Bible and other books; finally, I came across the following statement.   THE GOAL OF LIFE HERE ON EARTH IS TO WORK TOWARDS REACHING HEAVEN.   We reach Heaven by loving God with our soul, heart, mind and strength.   Loving God is the fundamental belief of a faithful follower of Christ. We are to believe that Christ died to redeem us from sin to gain eternal life ­ meaning Heaven; from this thought and further searching, it became evident that we also must do our bit to ‘earn’ Heaven.   But with what can we earn Heaven? Is it with Money, Power, and Educational Qualifications? None of these options will make it possible to attain Heaven because none of these factors is uniformly spread. So, there must be something else.   Gradually I saw the connection:

 

SUFFERING IS A FORM OF DIVINE CURRENCY that is acceptable in a divine sense.   It is universal.   Everyone has a fair chance to make a good gain from it.   DIVINE CURRENCY is why God allowed his Son to suffer and ultimately die on the Cross -to show us the way of Suffering.   It took a long time to realize that Suffering is a kind of Divine Currency.   Only after I understood this point could I see why the Saints and Martyrs were so happy with every situation that produced Suffering.   It was as though they realized that if they handled it well without grumbling, cursing, and swearing with each Suffering, their HEAVENLY BANK BALANCE would grow more prosperous.   So, they welcomed suffering as a great business opportunity.   Because of this attitude, the saints could stand above the situation and FORGIVE and FORGET everyone. The realization of Divine Currency gave them the unbelievable power to forgive their tormentors.   We often imagine this is only possible with Jesus Christ on the Cross and with great Saints throughout the centuries.   But the truth is that even these days, people with the correct attitude do it regularly.    One of the Great names is Mahatma Gandhi. When shot at point-blank range, he turned to his assassin and said, “My son, I forgive you.” The killer was shocked; he could not believe his ears. So were those around him.    Thousands of people behind the Iron and Bamboo Curtain have forgiven their adversary.   They have all understood things. The ordinary person has not tried to think.   In the face of all these adversities, the little drawbacks and grievances between Husbands and Wives are trifle matters. Anyone who tries to feel can quickly muster enough courage and confidence to Forgive and Forget.   And until the partner overcomes the inertia of the past, the other partner can build up their bank balance of Divine Currency through the proper management of Suffering!   DO NOT WASTE YOUR SORROW. IT IS A POWERFUL CURRENCY!

 

While we are on FORGIVING AND FORGETTING, what Jesus said in LUKE 6:27-31 was a new approach to interpersonal relationships in those days.   It was just as hard to undertake this approach in those days as it is today.   But then, the way to Heaven is not easy.   We need God’s help.   So, we should ask Him.   Jesus said, ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE. So, ask God for His help to “FORGIVE AND FORGET”.

LUKE 6:27-31

LOVE YOUR ENEMIES

27 “BUT I SAY TO YOU WHO HEAR: LOVE YOUR ENEMIES, DO GOOD TO THOSE WHO HATE YOU,

28 BLESS THOSE WHO CURSE YOU, AND PRAY FOR THOSE WHO SPITEFULLY USE YOU.

29 TO HIM WHO STRIKES YOU ON THE ONE CHEEK, OFFER THE OTHER ALSO. AND FROM HIM WHO TAKES AWAY YOUR CLOAK, DO NOT WITHHOLD YOUR TUNIC EITHER.

30 GIVE TO EVERYONE WHO ASKS OF YOU. AND FROM HIM WHO TAKES AWAY YOUR GOODS DO NOT ASK THEM BACK.

31 AND JUST AS YOU WANT MEN TO DO TO YOU, YOU ALSO DO TO THEM LIKEWISE.

—

 

Mt 7:7-8

KEEP ASKING, SEEKING, KNOCKING

7 “ASK, AND IT WILL BE GIVEN TO YOU; SEEK, AND YOU WILL FIND; KNOCK, AND IT WILL BE OPENED TO YOU.

8 FOR EVERYONE WHO ASKS RECEIVES, AND HE WHO SEEKS FINDS, AND TO HIM WHO KNOCKS IT WILL BE OPENED.

 

Let us see how these two aspects of Forgiving and Forgetting show up in Men and Women.   From observation, the psychological makeup is as follows:

 

A MAN ‘FORGETS’ QUICKLY BUT FINDS IT VERY DIFFICULT TO ‘FORGIVE’.  

A WOMAN, ON THE OTHER HAND, ‘FORGIVES’ EASILY, BUT IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR HER TO ‘FORGET’.  

 

All married people know from first-hand experience how a woman can remember incidents from the past.   Women bring these ancient incidents up repeatedly for years to come.   She can start with an opening statement like, “That day you said….” She was referring to some incident last year.   Or “Your mother said….” The fact is that the mother died ten years ago.   Or “Before our wedding…” The poor man is thinking, “Honey, our Golden Jubilee took place five years ago!” – Why is this woman still bringing it up?   These reminders make the husband sick with disgust.   His mind is hurting; in helplessness, he licks his wounds and struggles with his life.   Eventually, he will relegate these remainders to incidents he must forget.

On the other hand, she is usually the first to try to make up because of her ability to forgive quickly.   This point is one of the significant differences between men and women.   Keep these factual characteristics in mind:

Once again, the characteristic is:

MEN FORGET MORE RAPIDLY BUT CANNOT FORGIVE EASILY.

BY COMPARISON, WOMEN FORGIVE MORE QUICKLY BUT NEVER FORGET.

 

The only way to get him around (typically) is to see that his wife has forgotten things from her side.   Then he will respond.   In other words, recovery is possible when she is willing to forgive and forget.   The test is that she never brings this “skeleton” out again and buries it once and for all. So why is she reluctant to bury this ‘skeleton’? The answer may be at least twofold:

a. In her memory, she treasures many things; they are sentimental to her. Unfortunately, even useless things are nostalgic. ‘Sentimentality’ and ‘Productivity’ is not the same thing. She can choose either or both.   It is more natural for her to choose ‘sentimentality’.

 

b. In the insecurity of future situations, she likes to have sufficient ‘Ammunition’ to defend herself. So, these past incidents are the kinds of ‘Ammunition’ she wants to store in her ‘Arsenal’.

 

Like the “ME and MY” pattern described in the chapter FOR HUSBANDS, both parties instinctively recognize this approach as typical.   When something appears TYPICAL, it is somehow instinctively accepted or tolerated.   The conflict, however, arises when there is a shift in the pattern of one or both partners.   For example, if the wife does not forgive easily or a man does not forget easily.   A reverse male-female behaviour is when the spouse gets unknowingly and instinctively confused.   It is not that he likes his wife keeping old trifles alive, ­but even without being told, there is something in him that prompts him that something is out of place.   That is ‘His Way’ to do things – not ‘Hers’.   Maybe without words, he is saying, “I am the one who forgets, and she is the one who is to forgive.   I can (instinctively) expect that, but now she is doing the opposite.   How come? What is going on?” Even though this ‘bringing of dead skeletons out of the closet behaviour’ is undesirable, it is somehow in place.   Likewise, even though she does not like to work against his unforgiving attitude, the wife tells her that this unpleasant attitude is somehow ‘in place’.

Never ask them if it is true because they will answer the opposite.   The reason is that ‘instinct’ and ‘reason’ do not superimpose identically.   In most cases, no one teaches these life skills. So, people haphazardly go through these life skills. Mistakes and clumsiness are the usual order. If not taught about these things, a primitive instinct comes to our defence.   In the subject of Transactional Analysis, they would call one type of behaviour THE ADAPTED CHILD in us and the other THE NATURAL CHILD behaviour.   It is not a question of right or wrong.   It is about knowledge with our spouse, children, in-laws, and the World.   The dividends are WINNING the love for each other, an excellent environment for the children to grow up in, giving them good memories to cherish and bringing peace and harmony to their children and your grandchildren.   The additional spin-off of this is that everyone succeeds; he at his work, the children academically and in their extra clerical activities and the wife she knows is a good wife and a good mother.

 

While there are many obstacles in the patching-up process, one of the most common obstructions is caused by many outsider women and some men who take a self-styled and often muddled-headed counsellor role. They tend to advise the wife of an unhappy marriage to stand up for her “Rights”, “Argue back”, and “Fight it out”. “See a proper lawyer”; “Do you want us to find a tough, result-oriented lawyer with a crushing reputation?” The vital ingredients among some talk centre groups are that they propagate and instil thoughts to fight and assert RIGHTS.   The main intention of the couple having difficulty is to attain peace and harmony, WIN their love for each other, and develop a happy environment for their children.   On the other hand, these groups have nothing constructive to offer the confused couple. These evil advisors offer suggestions to diabolically separate them using pugnacious lawyers. The group has nothing productive to bring except ‘to see the fun’.   In variably, these groups consist of misfits who have repeatedly failed in marriage and some in several unions.   They may claim to have certificates and listing on the Yellow- Pages.   These mean nothing.   Their methods have limitation because it works by placing demands.   And if demands are not acceded to, frustration, loneliness, and mental vagrancies take shape.   The question is:  what should the wife want? What brings the wife more reward? ­ The wife should ask herself, is it RIGHTS more important, or Is SUCCESS winning her marriage more critical?

 

God is the ultimate power to solve your marriage.   He has invested a part of Himself in you.   God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the Cross to pay the price for our immortal souls.   He has entrusted in both of you the power of procreation.   To the best of our knowledge, God never gave the angels in Heaven the ability to procreate.   He knows both of you through and through.   He made you, and He can make things work.   You must be willing to come to the Lord and place your problem before Him in humility.   He will pick you, both of you, up and make all things correct.    After King David committed a grave sin, God sent Prophet Nathan to speak with him.   David was sorry, and he repented.   In his plea for forgiveness from the Lord, David composed Psalm 51.   Sometimes called the 5^th. Penitent Psalm.   David is beseeching God to forgive him and imploring God in a reminding way of the Lord’s mercy and goodness, and what He, as the good and merciful God, cannot refuse.   We read:

 

PSALM 51:17

17 “THE SACRIFICE OF GOD ARE A BROKEN SPIRIT, A BROKEN AND A CONTRITE HEART- THESE O LORD, YOU WILL NOT DESPISE.”   

 

In your own unique and memorable way, you, too, can pray from the heart and tell God your problems and failed attempts.   You, too, can appeal to the goodness and graciousness of His divine nature.   He cannot fail himself in being good.   He is the personification of love.

Be prepared for two things:

a. God has his sense of timing. That sense of timing is different from ours. Therefore, do not get overwhelmed by impatience.   He knows why a delay is necessary, and His timing is always perfect.

 

b. Be prepared; you cannot understand all His ways. Many times, life’s situations will shake us down to our roots.   And we will be driven to wonder what kind of a God does not show love.   How can He be the personification of love? Or, as John puts it.

 

1 JOHN 4:8

      “GOD IS LOVE.”   

 

Many people do not understand Suffering.   We have honestly and genuinely been good people, husband and wife, children and parents on both sides.    Everyone goes to church and keeps all the commandments of the Lord. So why has this Suffering come about? Why is God allowing this to happen to me/us? He is not listening to my prayers – Why? And we are confused.   We are confused about the goodness of God, whether He cares at all, whether He is indifferent, and so many more confusing doubts will test our faithfulness to keep on trusting Him.

If you are, ask WHY you are not alone. We find Job asked this question around 2500 BC.

 

The fact is: 

God answers all prayers.   What could happen is that God has chosen you to be His advocate of prayer and intercession for other people.   God has allowed this Cross, so you know what this pain is about on your skin and heart.   And because you feel this pain, you can pray more specifically for others in the same situation.   

 

A priest or a nun may be more prayerful than we lay- people.   They may know what a custody battle for the children is about in their heads, but you know it is in your heart.   True, they have sympathy from the heart, but the feeling is unique when it is your children, as opposed to children in general.   It is personal.

 

Similarly, at a graveyard, you see one person walking up to a lone person at another grave; they take out a flower from their bunch and place it on the other person’s grave.   They do not know each other.   Maybe they do not even know each other’s language.   The Heart language does not need word of mouth to get itself across.   Sympathetic feelings happen in hospitals, bus stations, airports, and washrooms.

 

There is a popular song, the words are:

——Is it better to have loved and lost? Than never to have loved at all?

For only a heart that has loved and lost knows how a heart can cry.  —–

 

Because you know how a heart can cry, God has placed you in a position to intercede for others.   They may not know God personally because they have never had that exposure.   Their upbringing and outlook may have been different.   Their experiences and values were different.   The Bible has exemplified many people’s willingness to pray and intercede for others.   Moses grew up in pharos’s palace, like pharos’s own son.   He gave it up to lead three and a half million Jews to the Promised Land.   Many times, Moses pleaded with the Lord for these people.   Abraham is known as the Father of Faith.   One of the tests the Lord put on him was that the Lord told him that the sins of Sodom and Gomorrah had come before Him and that He would destroy those two cities.

 

God waited to see what Abraham’s reaction would be.   Abraham pleaded for those people.   They were not his people, but he interceded for them.   Abraham even goes one step further to try to bargain with God. He asked God if He would not spare the city if there were 50 good people, then 40 and various numbers, and ultimately, there were not even ten righteous men in the town.   God was pleased that Abraham was going to such measures to intercede for people, other people.   The Lord was pleased and regarded it as righteousness.   We later see that three of the World’s major religions came into existence from his descendants.   People of these three religions may have had disagreements, but all faiths regard Abraham greatly.

 

St. Francis Xavier left the Castle of Xavier and became a missionary.   He did a lot of good mission work and eventually died off the coast of China.   For whatever religious reasons, when they tried to take the body back to Spain, the ship refused to move when it came to Goa, on the West Coast of India. So, the Sailors and Priests decided to keep the body in Goa. It is over 400 years; his body has not decayed.   Any day of the year, you can see St. Francis Xavier in a glass casket in the Basilica of Bon Jesu.

 

Before the 1950s, His body did not even have a glass casket. People could touch his unembalmed body as they passed by in a procession.   People call his body the incorruptible body.   Over the centuries, there have been other incorruptible saint bodies. The bodies slowly crumbled to something like dust, without smell or decay.   We do not know why God allowed some saints to have incorruptible bodies for some years. Scripture, however, tells us why they turned to dust.

 

GENESIS 3:19,

19  IN THE SWEAT OF YOUR FACE YOU SHALL EAT BREAD TILL YOU RETURN TO THE GROUND, FOR OUT OF IT YOU WERE TAKEN; FOR DUST YOU ARE, AND TO DUST YOU SHALL RETURN.”

 

However, the body of St. Francis Xavier is still intact by the power of God.   What did St. Francis Xavier do?   He left everything to become God’s instrument of salvation to people in faraway countries.   No one knows how many souls he saved, and nobody knows how many children and children’s children have become Christians.

Likewise, but on a much greater level, Jesus Christ came down from Heaven for the benefit of humanity, and He suffered and died so that He could obtain our salvation.   It was Jesus’ way to intercede with God for our souls.

 

So, considering the many thousand examples, WE KNOW GOD HAS A SPECIAL JOY WHEN PEOPLE PRAY FOR OTHERS.   In a way, by praying for others, God will bless us too.   We may think about our children and their future.   Yet, we must understand that they are ‘your’ children but are even more ‘His (God’s)’ children.   He has placed you in a position to be instrumental in their creation.   He has entrusted you with the privilege of stewardship of “His” children.   He (God) has allowed you to call them “your” children too. You and I may be someone’s grandchild; you and I may have grandchildren.   Yet, everyone is a child of God.   God has no grandchildren.    So, pray for yourself and others; something will work out much more wonderful than you ever expected.   Understanding that your children are even more God’s children is a success.

 

SUCCESS should be what a clever wife should want and aim for because then the RIGHTS are a bonus that comes automatically. However, the Bible teaching is FAR AHEAD.   THE BIBLE TEACHES: The RIGHTS are a bonus when it asks wives TO SUBMIT to their husbands.

 

Let me first tell you a little story before I end this chapter.

The mystery of Suffering has always been a significant question in man’s mind.   Someone asked a priest to give a sermon on this subject.   The priest said:

“I cannot give you an all-clear answer to all the questions you have, but let me try to illustrate a situation, and may God get His messages across to you in the way you seek His guidance.

He continued that a person once complained to God about his sufferings and asked God to explain why all these tribulations had befallen him.   God was compassionate to the honest cry of this man, so he sent an angel to talk with him.   The man poured his heart out to the Angel and asked why he had to suffer so much.   The Angel explained that man could not fully understand God’s wisdom, but God, in His wisdom, has chosen Suffering as the method by which we can do our bit to merit Heaven.   The Angel mentioned that, in a true sense, we could not earn Heaven because of our unworthiness.   Nevertheless, God does expect us to do our bit, and He will do the rest.   He also explained to him that the whole purpose of Jesus Christ’s Suffering and dying on the Cross was to pay for our salvation, so in like manner, we also must take up our Cross, the Cross God gives us, and follow Jesus towards Heaven.

The Angel explained that Suffering and death are a part of God’s universal plan for all men.   No one escapes it.   Suffering will be there regardless of­ whether it is for man or woman or child, whether rich or poor, young or old, king or clown.   He explained that the type of Cross for each one could be different; for some, it may be sickness; for others, it perhaps financial worries; for others, it could be marital difficulties etc.   The purpose of the Cross that each one had to bear is not that God wants it to be an act of reparation or punishment for wrongdoing; it is like a specially designed means to turn our attention towards the Lord.

Gradually the man began to see meaning and purpose in his Suffering, and he felt much more relieved at the enlightenment.   He felt better because there was a specific purpose in an ultimate sense, and Suffering had meaning.   He also felt better when he knew that he was not suffering because of punishment but that it was a universal part of God’s plan. Then, finally, he accepted that he could not understand God’s infinite wisdom.

Still, one thing bothered him.   That was the kind of Cross that he had to bear.   In his mind, he felt some other cross would be more manageable.   He spoke his feelings to the friendly Angel.   The Angel said, come with me and bring your Cross with you.   The Angel led him to a yard; there were heaps of crosses.   The Angel told the man to throw down his Cross and take any other cross of his choice.   The whole day passed, trying to select a cross.

Some were too heavy, others were too big, some were too tiring, others were too fat, others too dirty etc.   The man felt he could manage one Cross but later would change his mind before reaching the yard gate.   Finally, after many wrong selections, he picked up one and even though he did not like it, he felt this Cross could manage best.   He had picked up this Cross many times and dropped it back during his selections and re-selections.   The Angel asked him if he was sure that he would select only that one.   The man said his mind was pretty sure.   The Angel said, “If you are sure that that is the cross you can manage, we can go.” But then the Angel added, “Before we go, turn the cross around and see the writing on the back”.   To his surprise, the man saw his name on the back of the Cross. Quite clearly, God had given him a cross that he could bear.

He thought the other crosses would be better or at least more manageable, but God knew what cross he could manage best.

Each of us will have a cross to bear.   On this journey towards Heaven, we will be bothered by the trouble our Cross gives us.   Sometimes we are grateful for any help, even if it is a kind word or understanding. But other people are in the very same predicament.   You will walk this road of time only once.   So, any kindness or help you can give, do it now.   Kindness is a little heaven in you while you are still on Earth.

You have many crosses, and your spouse has many crosses. They may be different.   When you help each other, you leave a legacy.   A legacy of winning to your children as well.   They will draw inspiration from your graciousness.

Think about this verse in Scripture:

1 CORINTHIANS 10:13

13 NO TEMPTATION HAS OVERTAKEN YOU EXCEPT SUCH AS IS COMMON TO MAN; BUT GOD IS FAITHFUL, WHO WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO BE TEMPTED BEYOND WHAT YOU ARE ABLE, BUT WITH THE TEMPTATION WILL ALSO MAKE THE WAY OF ESCAPE, THAT YOU MAY BE ABLE TO BEAR IT.

 

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REVELATION 21

ALL THINGS MADE NEW

21:4  AND GOD WILL WIPE AWAY EVERY TEAR FROM THEIR EYES; THERE SHALL BE NO MORE DEATH, NOR SORROW, NOR CRYING. THERE SHALL BE NO MORE PAIN, FOR THE FORMER THINGS HAVE PASSED AWAY.”

God Bless You.