7 – TOGETHERNESS – CTW-2022-E

CHALLENGED TO WIN by Gregory Fernandez

Chapter 7 – TOGETHERNESS

Is life together possible?

This question produces mixed and opposite reactions.   The people eager to get married will immediately say YES to this question; they would find it inconceivable. But, on the other hand, there are a vast number of people who are seriously asking the question, “Is life together possible?”

Before I married, a wedding was an expected sequence in life’s florid train of events.   It seemed to be an understood milestone.   In my mind, there was no doubt that two people could live together.   My thinking, my Christian outlook and observations of my own parent’s Marriage gave this thinking credence.

After my marriage difficulties and the marriage separations of friends, I relooked to re-examine this question. As a result, over time, I have been convinced of two things:

  • It is possible to live together,

 

  • Both must work at it; otherwise, a marriage would succumb to the pressures that destroy Togetherness.   We cannot take Togetherness for granted.

 

A lot depends on the experiences we have and the expectations we have.   For Example, Mrs M    had other opinions; after the honeymoon, Marriage was not what she imagined it to be.   Disappointment and bitterness began to emerge, and another marital union was already ready to join the vast mountain of troubled marriages.   While it is rare for disappointment and resentment to appear so soon after the honeymoon, it is certainly not impossible.

 

Social Psychologists think that the foundation of a stable family home life is disintegrating, and the institution of Marriage seems to stand in danger of crumbling.   The fact is, Matrimony cannot crumble – It is a Divine institution – God is the Author.   What it will face is, however, attacks from the devil in all forms and disguises.   It will challenge us to do things our way and fail or do them in God’s way and succeed.   It will challenge our alacrity to use our WILL with the Wisdom of God rather than that of man.

 

The US is one of the countries that have publicly available statistics on this subject of divorce.

The statistics revealed:

In 1900:  1 marriage in 12 landed in a divorce.

In 1922:  1 marriage in 7 landed in a divorce.

In 1980:  1 marriage in 3 landed in a divorce.

(In 2004:  The US statistics is one Marriage out of 2 landed in divorce.    Oklahoma is said to top the list, with 71% landing in divorce.)

 

Every Marriage, separation, or divorce produces emotional scars which affect future generations. Therefore, the prospects for the future look even more distressing.   Note that the statistics mentioned above are for divorce.   These figures are possible because there is a civil census for divorce.   There are separate statistics for registered separation, but these figures are incomplete because not all cases are officially registered.   There are no censuses on Marriage where the spouses have separated but live under the same roof.

 

If we take these two groups of problem relationships, we see that the ratio is much worse than 1:3.

 

This ratio is shocking enough that many households openly recognize war zones.   Where fights, defiance and shouting matches are a regular occurrence.

 

To these figures, we can add the vast number of households where a truce is maintained just for worldly reasons like prestige, social image, reputation, financial reasons or for the sake of the kids.   These marriages constitute disturbed relationships.   Instead of being a piece of heaven on Earth, they are a piece of hell on Earth.

 

For the sake of an overview of the marriage problems, we have:

 

  1. Divorced cases where the ratio stands at 1 Marriage out of 3. As per US 1980 stats.
  2. Registered Separation. – (No complete statistics)
  3. Unregistered Separation. – (No complete statistics)
  4. Separated relationships but living under the same roof. – (No complete statistics)
  5. Strained and war zone relationships. – (No complete statistics)
  6. Disturbed Relationships. – (No complete statistics)

 

So, what do we have here as far as the ratios are concerned? Firstly, one-third falls under the official divorce cases.   Secondly, if we add separated and disturbed marriages, the figure can add up to another third.   From this, we can infer that only one Marriage out of three is likely to be happy.

 

(In 1992, the Static estimated rate for divorce in the USA was one Marriage out of two.   This ratio is for divorce alone!)

 

It is essential to look at Marriage carefully because the odds of a happy and successful marriage are less than one-third.   For this reason, reading about Marriage should begin before the wedding and continue like a ‘process’ until ‘The Fourth Stage has stabilized – The COMMUNION STAGE (See Chapter on Relationship).   It will involve reading, thinking, and rethinking. Nowhere can anything be left for granted.   Every little success is by hard-won efforts.   We must be clear that marriage demands careful and constant attention; otherwise, it will die.

 

Regarding our careers and climbing the professional ladder, we are goal-oriented and make serious efforts to keep up.   Unfortunately, we often do not put in the same zest when it concerns our Marriage.   Most people try very hard to keep up their career efforts because they hope to provide a good standard of living and achieve happiness for the family through this.

But the so-called good standard of living and good things are no replacement for careful and constant attention.   Even the torrential starting love that was so strong during the courtship has insufficient adherence force to look after Marriage over the years. The endless Grace of God and Love from our side can overcome the strains of life and the ravages of time-induced fatigue.

 

The statistics mentioned above are on the US situation.   These figures will differ in other countries, but the tendency worldwide is clear.   The trend shows a worldwide erosion of marriages.

 

The latest divorce statistics, however, tend to show an improvement. Why? Is it because people can get on better? ­ No, it is because there is an ever-increasing number of couples living together but not married.   Hence, their going apart cannot be reflected in the divorce or separation statistics.   Marriage is a commitment to each other.   These ‘Living-Together’ relationships are insufficient and insecure, with a handy exit passage.

 

In interviews, an estimated 7% of women and 6% of men said they would not marry the same person. Many said that they would not marry again.   While the above percentages are subjective feelings, the fact remains that there is an ample number of external influences that support break-up.   Suggestions include the opinion of family, and friends, the view of society, and the Example of others.   The humdrum of worldly influences says, “If you cannot love it ­, leave it.” These suggestions have persuasive pressure.   Christians often feel secure in their marriages if they have been dutiful to their churchgoing.   There are surprises even here.   So, in all fairness, it is essential to point out that Christians must be aware that Christian Marriage is not immune to marital disharmony, and the world’s pressures will be just as intense.   These pressures and opinions will conveniently poise as an easy exit from the wedding vows.    The wedding vow: “Do you (Name) take this woman / this man to be your lawfully wedded wife/husband for rich or for poor, in health or sickness, in good times or in bad times?”. The promise at the altar does not have any “Ifs”, “buts”, or “back doors.”

 

The typical SYMPTOMS of a sick and unhappy marriage are:

 

Infidelity, bitterness, resentment, drop in affection, cutting comments, criticisms, and prolonged silence.   These characteristics are a poor advertisement for the peace of Jesus Christ or His Power in our Life.

 

It is necessary to search because it causes a break-up, and many people try to pursue this cause earnestly.   Some who find the exact cause may arrive at the following finding:

 

People find it difficult to pinpoint the reason.   They use a lot of worldly wisdom and look for a “single” reason.   They find some causes, but still, something else is lurking somewhere.   Somehow, the picture does not seem complete.   And this baffles them.    Indeed, the relationship picture is not comprehensive.   Because this picture involves the feeling and emotions of:

  • Oneself.
  • The spouse and
  • And people who have contributing influence on the relationship.

 

Emotions and feelings are dynamic and are subject to change. They change either by a subjective or objective outlook.   Time has an effect.   Often things fade and become insignificant with time, yet the opposite is equally possible.   We constantly face new influences, and consequently, our marital problems also encounter new effects.   So, the combinations that result from all these influences are innumerable, and we cannot see the whole picture in its most complete details.

Added to many influences is the variety of hues of meaning and importance we assign to the intensity levels of the impact.

Sometimes when we reason purely with our human intellect, we could be overwhelmed by unpleasant changes and re-changes. However, when you feel you have made progress, you find that the focus of contention has changed.

 

The confusion in this phase is highly complex to understand.   Suppose we try to make an analogy of the complexity of all factors in Marriage. In that case, we can almost compare it to some Video Games where many targets constantly move around and change their size and status between ‘Friend’ and ‘Foe’.   A game like this can be quite exasperating, but that is how many married couples feel about their problem relationship.   They are exasperated, and they react out of their exasperation. But, in the bargain, they often make things worse for themselves and their spouse.

 

Let us see what the Bible tells us. First, it tells us that Marriage and family are divine institutions.   It is the first institution forwarded by God as far as humanity is concerned.   He designed it as necessary for society.   By His holy will, He allowed man and woman to be pro-creators.   If we look at many other species of living beings, the institution of Marriage is not necessary; even parental care and upbringing may not apply.   Take the caterpillar, for instance; it has no family ties with its mother.   We cannot fully understand God’s reasons for everything He has done, so we must assume God’s plan is how He designed human Marriage.

 

The devil is constantly trying to disrupt this plan.   Sometimes his attempts bring him success, while it brings sufferings to the victims.   If we lower our guard, the devil makes his move.

 

Despite the many obstacles, we should never forget that God founded the institution of Marriage and has the power to make it work.

 

If we try to categorize marriage conflicts, they will fall into two major groups:

(a)        Reasons resulting from personal imperfections like our ego, jealousy, selfishness, immaturity, lack of contentment, weak faith etc.

 

(b)        Reasons that result from attacks from the devil. These attacks are not direct.   The devil uses disguise tactics that are well camouflaged and designed not to draw attention to the devil. Instead, they make people seek solutions elsewhere.   The initial strategy of this disruption seems to impart relief, joy, well-being, and satisfaction.   It produces a feeling of freedom from the troublesome spouse. However, it works almost exclusively through human weaknesses and the inadequacies of self or others.

 

The devil achieves his ends by making the concerned person turn to Sin.   For this reason, people in a marriage conflict turn towards anger, fighting, bitterness, resentment, and infidelity.   They may also turn either to self-destruction or to the destruction of others.   The end effect is Sin, and he aims to make humans sin.   And what is Sin?

 

SIN IS TURNING AWAY FROM GOD’S PLAN.

Looking closely at the strategy, we see how cunning it is.   The mere fact that it does not attract attention to itself indicates its purposefulness towards destruction.   The trick in this strategy is:

a) When we do not see a cause, we do not offer any defence.

 

b) We do not offer resistance because we do not see any cause. And our attention is cleverly diverted by making us preoccupied with searching for solutions everywhere else. Every time and every effort seems to point to another possible avenue.   Whenever we feel we have a grip on the problem, we find it was a mistake and start chasing another mirage. We do this mirage chasing repeatedly.   We waste time, effort and energy on fruitless shadow ­ boxing and finger-pointing matches.

 

EPHESIANS  6: 10-18

10 “FINALLY, MY BRETHREN, BE STRONG IN THE LORD AND IN THE POWER OF ‘HIS MIGHT’.  

11  PUT ON THE WHOLE ARMOUR OF GOD, THAT YOU MAY BE ABLE TO STAND AGAINST THE WILES OF THE DEVIL.  

12  FOR WE DO NOT WRESTLE AGAINST FLESH AND BLOOD, BUT AGAINST PRINCIPALITIES, AGAINST POWERS, AGAINST THE RULER OF DARKNESS OF THIS AGE, AGAINST SPIRITUAL HOSTS OF WICKEDNESS IN HEAVENLY PLACES.  

13  THEREFORE TAKE UP THE WHOLE ARMOUR OF GOD THAT YOU MAY BE ABLE TO WITHSTAND IN THE EVIL DAY, AND HAVING DONE ALL, TO STAND.  

14  STAND THEREFORE, HAVING GIRDED YOUR WAIST WITH TRUTH, HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS.  

15  AND HAVING SHOD YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE.  

16  ABOVE ALL, TAKING THE SHIELD OF FAITH WITH WHICH YOU WILL BE ABLE TO QUENCH ALL THE FIERY DARTS OF THE WICKED ONE.  

17  AND TAKE THE HELMET OF SALVATION, AND THE SWORD OF THE SPIRIT, WHICH IS THE SWORD OF GOD.”

18   PRAYING ALWAYS WITH ALL PRAYER AND SUPPLICATION IN THE SPIRIT, BEING WATCHFUL TO THIS END WITH ALL PERSEVERANCE AND SUPPLICATION FOR ALL THE SAINTS—

 

We have no option but to recognize and tackle all three:

 

  1. The sources of conflict
  2. Human weaknesses and
  3. The devil.

 

A result like reconciliation fails because we tend to think there is only one source to overcome.

  • The modern man recognizes the faults in human weakness but laughs at the ‘devil-stuff’ to scorn.   Consequently, he sees no reason to do anything about developing his faith.

 

  • The primitive man, on the other hand, lived in superstitions and gave less attention to human weakness except perhaps to defend his precious human ego.

 

Most of us vacillate between these two models.   Human weakness alone is not the total picture of man’s complex makeup, and superstition is not the whole picture either.   So, in isolation, either of these avenues will fall short of true and lasting results.   We get frustrated when we cannot solve our imperfections and our average intelligence does not take us forward.   Frustration does not solve the problem; it only escalates it.   If we want to solve the problem, we need to believe in God and ask for Faith in God.   Once we make this first step, we will find all other factors, like human weakness falling into their rightful place.   Our intelligence can then logically follow the teachings of God’s ways through reading the Bible.   The Bible has a lot about humankind’s relationships, including Marriage.   We also cultivate an attitude to things that intelligence alone cannot solve.

 

Among the many things the Bible teaches us.   One point that stands out prominently is that Jesus Christ was aware of these human problems, and that is why he said:

“FORGIVE AND FORGET.”

By FORGIVING, we put the devil’s attack down.

 

By FORGETTING, we can stand above human weaknesses, shortcomings, and others.

 

FORGIVING and FORGETTING, besides their merits, also have collective worth.   It can attune our thinking to wipe away ‘old scores’ on hurts.   We do not hurt anymore, so we do not feel the need for revenge or give ‘tit for tat’. We also have a less cluttered mind so that we can think better. So, it is the most beneficial solution that we have.

 

We should give this teaching of “FORGIVE AND FORGET” extra-determined attention because:

  • God’s Son said it, and there is nothing casual recorded in the Bible.

 

  • God knew this was extremely necessary; otherwise, we would never be able to solve these kinds of conflicts.

 

  • It is a difficult teaching to practice because of our fallen nature.   Our difficulty in reasoning is why Jesus had to stress it.   It is this fallen nature of ours that either tries to avoid the teaching or adopt a seemingly more appealing course of action, For Example, getting our own back and giving a tit for tat.

 

Forgiveness is complicated, but it is still more challenging to forget. Therefore, we need GOD’S HELP if we are to be able to overcome our fallen nature.

 

Somewhere along with our life, we gather HURTS, and these hurts trouble us; they become a part of our behaviour and outlook.   We use the word “RESENTMENT” often used in our vocabulary; we know how to use the word, but most of us hardly go into the origin of the word. ‘Resentment’ comes from two words, “Re” is “again”, and “Sentiment” comes from “Sentiment.” The word Sentiment covers a wide range of feelings, but the usage of this word, ‘Resentment’, is reserved to cover hurt feelings.   So, when put together, it means feeling Sentiments again ­, that is, feeling hurt again.   It is this feeling of hurt again and again which is the cause of much pain.   We remember it repeatedly because we remember old incidents in our minds. We re-live some previous injury caused by someone or an incident and have not “forgotten”. For instance, things are said, done or implied, and we are repeatedly re-hurt because we again feel what we have not forgotten.

 

Many people, including practising Christians, are unaware of a Christian Ministry called INNER HEALING MINISTRY.   This Ministry’s service is to help heal wounds caused by hurt feelings, hurt emotions, and painful memories.   Much of the hurt experienced percolates into a person’s conscious, semi-conscious or sub-conscious areas.   Many wounds are so far back in time that we no longer remember the origins but only live through the hurt feelings.   But no matter how far back or how faded away the memories are, these hurts form and continue to influence our behaviour. While some wounds are as far back as childhood, there are even wounds caused while the child is still in the womb. For Example, an unwanted baby somehow perceives that it is not wanted.   It feels this rejection; it is helpless and can do little or nothing except take it all in.   Later in life, these feelings will emerge as a ‘playback’ in some way or another.

 

The memory of hurt feelings is a widespread reason for marital conflicts. Therefore, it may be necessary to undergo INNER HEALING.

 

There are so many things that we do not know for the simple reason that we do not have time to keep up with all the information explosion going around us. So it is when something goes wrong that we search for solutions. For Example, I came across the experience of inner healing only about a year and a half ago.

 

I suspect that many people do not know enough about inner healing.   So, I will briefly try to say a few words about INNER HEALING.   It is very effective, provided you have the proper disposition and the wish for healing.  

 

Success also means the person should want to let go of the hurt. Unfortunately, many people find it extremely difficult to let go (of an injury); they cling on to it.

 

Inner healing usually involves the help of another person who prays and helps the person in trouble express their hurts and grants forgiveness to all people or situations that have caused the injuries. Inner healing is done one session at a time, mentioning the Specific Name of the person wherever known.   At the same time, ask the other person to forgive them for the hurt they may have caused the other person.   The “other person” is not present, so it is in absentia.   This secession works because of the following:

 

MATTHEW 18:20,

20 “FOR WHERE TWO OR THREE ARE GATHERED TOGETHER IN MY NAME, I AM THERE IN THE MIDST OF THEM.”

 

Briefly, this is how Inner Healing works.   The past is unforgotten; it only removes the sting that keeps ‘resentments.   It is amazingly effective because once resentment goes, the hurt vanishes and the past incident serves only as an experience.   This healing is unlike brainwashing, electrode easement and drugs used by psychiatrists.   There is no damage or interference to the MIND or BODY of the person.   It is a way a person prays for strength to let go of the hurt. And embrace the other person in Love.

 

Christianity is a religion of Love; that is all that INNER HEALING does.   It helps the person to love again (and be unshackled from the past hurts).

 

If I put the advantages down in the form of points, it would look like this:

  • No extra wounds on the BODY, MIND, EMOTION or SOUL.

 

  • The memory remains and serves only as our ‘experience’, so we know how to avoid the same mess and help others effectively.   The memory is not for storage of weapons of reproach for further use.

 

  • Since there is no endangerment of human parts like the brain, the body, or the reaction, there are no withdrawal difficulties.   I am saying this in direct reference to the physical damage caused by drugs like anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, tranquillizers, sleeping tablets, memory easement, and many psychiatric methods.

 

  • Inner healing is safe regardless of what faith or creed one follows (or does not follow).   The person must want to heal.   There is no suggestion that one must alter or change their faith so that the healing becomes effective.   It is, in effect, no different from a non-Christian visiting a Christian School or Hospital.

 

  • In many cases, the person healed will not come because of pride, shame, fear of another fail-start, despair, defiance, etc.   In this case, another person can stand proxy for healing.   There is no other actual treatment that is effective for a proxy stand-in.   For Example, It will be ineffective to have someone else stand- as a proxy for an X-Ray.   From this point of view, inner healing is unique.   It does not matter if the representative is of the opposite sex or a different age group.   Both persons must desire to heal and get healed.

 

  • Psychiatry and many other forms of counselling function as a business and charge fees.   The prices range somewhere between high and unreasonable. Inner healing is a Christian Ministry ­ there are no fees.   The Church is not in the business of selling God’s gifts; the Church cannot charge fees.   This service is out of Love.   Prayer is essential because anyone can approach this healing without turning the coins over in his pocket, whether rich or poor.   INNER HEALING is to find and pay for peace and healing, and there are no fees.

 

Perhaps you have never heard of “INNER HEALING” before.   The reason is that most Parishes are understaffed.   The priest has many diverse activities ranging from saying mass a few times a day to baptizing babies, marrying people, burying others, running the administration of Schools and Orphanages, and visiting the sick. The list goes on and on with all kinds of adjustments and surprises and only 24 hours a day.   The priest does not have time for a time-involved activity like inner healing.   So only in parishes where the parishioners join in to help the priest in various duties makes inner healing possible.   Any person who has the proper disposition to do this service can do inner healing.   They need not be extraordinarily religious.   However, from a human point of view, they should be a good and patient listener.   They should be generous with their time because inner healing takes a fair amount of time.   Yet unlike psychiatry, which is naturally and artificially a long-drawn process, inner healing is faster.   Often one or very few successions may be enough to bring about significant results.   A typical INNER HEALING SESSION can take 1 hour.   Inner healing is not a ‘Rush- Job’.   Consequently, a person doing the inner healing must have and be willing to offer their time.

 

If you ever have difficulty finding an Inner Healing Ministry, you should go to a Catholic Church and ask.   If they do not conduct this service, ask for the address of a “CATHOLIC CHARISMATIC RENEWAL” Group.   This Group will then give you information about the inner healing ministry.

 

The nearest thing to inner healing that most Catholics know about is the SACRAMENT OF CONFESSION.   The Catholic Church orders this Sacrament at least once a year at Easter.   However, the Church recommends that we avail of this Sacrament as often as necessary.   Only a Priest does this Sacrament of Confession. This authority to forgive sins is only for a Priest to absolve Sin through the Power of God.   Kindly note – only a priest is authorized to absolve sins. By comparison, inner healing is the healing of emotional wounds, and any lay person can do INNER HEALING even if that person is not a priest.

As an emphasis:

  • When it involves ABSOLVING of SINS – Only a priest has the authority.
  • When it involves the HEALING OF EMOTIONAL WOUNDS, a priest or any layperson can participate.

 

It is difficult to tell another person all our secrets and embarrassing sins in Confession or inner healing. Still, it is precisely this act of humbling oneself that surprisingly brings comfort.   It is this feeling of relief that is important and needed.

 

Inner healing and Confession are different and distinct, but both bring relief and assurance that we are free.   Knowing where good help is available is helpful because we need every form of support and means to achieve a happy married life for our family and ourselves.

 

Our Confession is to God through a priest.   Inner healing is also through a person.   Therefore, it is not important who the person is because we are asking God to help us forget hurtful memories. Since God does Confession and inner healing, the personal merits and demerits of the priest or person are not essential.

 

If husbands and wives follow the Bible, God will help them and have a tremendous impact.   Faith in God is worth a try ­ I tried it, ­ and it worked; this book is the testimony.

 

The following lines are for my Christian readers:

THE BIBLE TELLS US NOT TO MARRY A PERSON OF ANOTHER RELIGION.

Intermarrying is a point many Christians find difficult to agree on and follow.   They wish to seek a particular person to belong to and have a powerful urge.    When people fall in Love, this desire intensifies.   The Bible lays down a Blueprint for success.   People may wrestle with it. Disagree with the direction.   Bring in various arguments.   In the end, the Bible is never wrong because it carries God’s wisdom. God’s wisdom may sound very hard; after all, we go to schools with people of different religions.   Our neighbourhood and workspace may have people of other faiths.   In our work spot, we have people from diverse faiths, and it may just happen that people can fall in Love. Mind you, there is nothing wrong with people following different religions.   Every religion is sacred to a person.   It is only less stressful when people marry within their faith.   The Bible, in its wisdom, puts it like this:

2 CORINTHIANS. 6:14-15

14 “DO NOT BE UNEQUALLY YOKED TOGETHER WITH AN UNBELIEVER.   FOR WHAT FELLOWSHIP HAS RIGHTEOUSNESS WITH LAWLESSNESS?

15  AND WHAT COMMUNION HAS LIGHT WITH DARKNESS? AND WHAT ACCORD HAS CHRIST WITH BELIAL? OR WHAT PART HAS A BELIEVER WITH AN UNBELIEVER?”

 

There is a certain sharpness in the words of St. Paul when writing his Epistle (Letter) to the Corinthians. I think the choice of words was specific to the problem he was addressing.   Nevertheless, the spirit of the text is still relevant today. Therefore, I will try to attempt it as best as I can.

 

By mentioning this point, I want to be very clear.   Many of my good friends are of different religions.   God made everyone, and He allowed a diversity of beliefs. Furthermore, a child is born into a family without any choice.   God will judge people by their hearts and deeds, not by which religion they were born.   If God has allowed different faiths, we are not in any position to disagree with the diversity of beliefs.   The point refers to the benefits of marrying within one’s religion.   Generally, same-religious marriages are less stressful when compared to inter-religious marriages.

 

If you intend to marry a person of another religion, you should wait and think about it.   In principle, you are unfair to the person you want to marry.   Your intended partner feels your heart belongs exclusively to him (or her), but this is not the case.

 

MARRIAGE IS A TRI-UNION BETWEEN GOD, HUSBAND, AND WIFE.

 

In a Christian Marriage, this binding with the Lord Jesus Christ brings husband and wife closer.   In a mixed marriage, the result is chaotic and will result in unpleasantness and strife. Therefore, you should not consider such a binding and subject the person you like to this unpleasant sentence.   Marriage adjustments are complicated enough, and there is no use in amplifying the complications with obstacles of this magnitude.

 

It would be best if you even were not unfair to yourself.   If you still want to / or went on and marry a person of another faith, this is deliberate disobedience to God’s Will, and it might be that God would have to inflict trials upon trials on you till you bend to His will.   The tests will make your non-Christian partner unhappy.

 

You are also unfair to God.   After all, He sent His Son down to Earth so that He could pay the price of your Salvation.   He did this by suffering and dying on the Cross.   He did this because man by himself could never make enough reparation to God for the Sin, which he had committed.   Somebody divine would have to do it, and Jesus Christ did it.   He bought Salvation for all men.   The least we could do is acknowledge Him as Lord and God, who redeemed us.   And, of course, we also must lead a just and upright life.

 

Some may come by the idea that marrying a non-Christian will bring their partner to God.   God, however, never intended Marriage to serve as a mission field.   Sometimes this winning of a partner over to God may work, but the odds are overwhelmingly against you.

 

There is still hope if you are already married to someone outside your religion. But first, you should reach for a personal relationship with God and confess your Sin of disobedience (or ignorance) to Him. ‘Ignorance’ in this context was not meant as innocent ignorance but rather the excuses we make not to inform ourselves so that we can continue to do what we like.   For Example, if we avoid catechism class, go to Church, read the Bible, or seek guidance.   Then we hope we can use the lack of our knowledge as an excuse.   It may be true that we do not know, but the real reason is that we willfully choose to be ignorant.

 

You may be wondering how you can reach a personal relationship with God.   You can achieve it by the following method.

 

Acknowledge your sinfulness and take full responsibility for your Sin to God, who is infinitely holy.   God knew all about our sinful nature, so we can freely admit it to Him.   We should not try to draw other people’s behaviour or misbehaviour as reasons for sinning against Him.   Just call Sin a sin and be genuinely sorry for it.   Have a sincere willingness to avoid falling into Sin. God knows we will fall again.   He is aware of our weaknesses but interested in our efforts and disposition.

 

  • We must have enough humility to admit that we can never be correct to the standards of God.

 

  • Acknowledge Jesus Christ; His Son died for our sins to redeem us.

 

  • We are to trust Jesus Christ as our personal Savior. – How?

 

JOHN 3:16

16 FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, THAT WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM SHOULD NOT PERISH BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE.

 

IF YOU HAVE NOT ALREADY MADE THIS DECISION, WHY DO YOU NOT DO IT NOW? GIVE YOUR MARRIAGE A CHANCE TO SUCCEED.

 

God Bless You.