<\/p>\n
PRO ACTIVE<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Translated by:\u00a0\u00a0HAI DUC TRAN<\/strong><\/p>\n Ch\u1eb3ng c\u00f3 sao khi ch\u00fang ta \u0111\u1ed3ng h\u00e0nh c\u00f9ng v\u1edbi b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi v\u00e0 chia s\u1ebb. S\u1ebd c\u00f3 quan \u0111i\u1ec3m kh\u00e1c bi\u1ec7t r\u00f5 r\u00e0ng. Nhi\u1ec1u ngu\u1eddi cho l\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng c\u00f3\u00a0 b\u1ea5t k\u1ef3 s\u1ef1 kh\u00e1c bi\u1ec7t n\u00e0o trong t\u01b0 t\u01b0\u1edfng \u0111\u1ec3 d\u1eabn \u0111\u1ebfn bu\u1ed3n t\u1ebb, \u0111\u01a1n \u0111i\u1ec7u ho\u1eb7c kh\u00e1c n\u1eefa th\u00ec h\u1ecd ch\u1ec9 c\u00f4ng nh\u1eadn c\u00f3 ch\u00fat \u00edt t\u00ednh ri\u00eang t\u01b0. Hay h\u1ecd qu\u00e1 s\u1ee3 h\u00e3i ph\u1ea3i b\u00e0y t\u1ecf s\u1ef1 th\u1eadt v\u1ec1 c\u1ea3m\u00a0 x\u00fac n\u1ed9i t\u00e2m .Hay m\u1ed9t s\u1ef1 tr\u00f9ng h\u1ee3p \u0111\u1eb7c bi\u1ec7t ng\u1eabu nhi\u00ean nh\u1eadn ra hai con ngu\u1eddi c\u00f3 c\u00f9ng quan \u0111i\u1ec3m v\u1ec1 m\u1ecdi ch\u1ee7 \u0111\u1ec1 , m\u1ecdi th\u1eddi \u0111i\u1ec3m\u00a0h\u1eb1ng nhi\u1ec1u n\u0103m.<\/p>\n Quan \u0111i\u1ec3m kh\u00e1c nhau s\u1ebd\u00a0 ph\u00e1t sinh\u00a0 v\u00e0 b\u1ea5t k\u1ef3 ai b\u1eb1ng nhi\u1ec1u nguy\u00ean nh\u00e2n s\u1ebd t\u1ea1o ra s\u1ef1 kh\u00e1c bi\u1ec7t. L\u00fd do th\u1ee9 nh\u1ea5t ho\u00e0n to\u00e0n d\u1ec5 d\u00e0ng nh\u1eadn ra s\u1ef1 kh\u00f3 ch\u1ecbu v\u1ec1 ng\u01b0\u1eddi b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi\u00a0 kh\u00f4ng c\u00f3 t\u00ednh c\u00e1ch h\u00e0o hoa nh\u01b0 \u0111\u00e3 t\u1eebng t\u01b0\u1edfng t\u01b0\u1ee3ng ra tr\u01b0\u1edbc khi c\u01b0\u1edbi nhau. B\u1edfi v\u00ec ch\u00fang ta mong t\u00ednh c\u00e1ch ti\u00eau bi\u1ec3u kh\u00f4ng mong \u0111\u1ee3i c\u1ea7n ph\u1ea3i\u00a0 thay th\u1ebf, ngay l\u1eadp t\u1ee9c ch\u00fang ta xa r\u1eddi,nh\u1ea9m ngh\u0129 s\u1ebd nghi danh b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi v\u00e0o m\u1ed9t tr\u01b0\u1eddng n\u00e0o \u0111\u00f3 \u0111\u1ec3 \u0111\u00e0o t\u1ea1o l\u1ea1i ch\u01b0\u01a1ng tr\u00ecnh h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n. R\u1ed3i b\u1eaft tay v\u00e0o m\u1ed9t nhi\u1ec7m v\u1ee5 v\u00f4 c\u00f9ng to l\u1edbn l\u00e0 ki\u1ebfn tr\u00fac l\u1ea1i\u00a0 b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi th\u00e0nh m\u1ed9t k\u1ebb l\u00fd t\u01b0\u1edfng.<\/p>\n M\u1ed9t ph\u01b0\u01a1ng th\u1ee9c n\u1ed5i t\u1ebfng c\u1ee7a c\u00e1c b\u00e0 v\u1ee3\u00a0 \u0111\u1ec3 l\u00e0m t\u00ecnh l\u00e0m t\u1ed9i ch\u1ed3ng m\u00ecnh l\u00e0 nh\u01b0 m\u1ed9t tr\u1ee3 l\u00fd , c\u00f4 ta lu\u00f4n ch\u1ec9 tr\u00edch, v\u00e0 b\u1ea5t k\u1ef3 khi n\u00e0o c\u1ea7n thi\u1ebft l\u00e0 tu\u00f4n nh\u1eefng gi\u1ecdt n\u1ee9\u01a1c m\u1eaft qu\u00fd gi\u00e1.<\/p>\n Ph\u01b0\u01a1ng k\u1ebf n\u1ed5i ti\u1ebfng c\u1ee7a \u00f4ng ch\u1ed3ng d\u00e0nh cho c\u00f4 v\u1ee3 \u2018L\u1eddi ch\u1ec9 tr\u00edch cay \u0111\u1ed9c\u2019. \u0110\u00f3 l\u00e0 c\u1eaft ngang l\u1eddi ch\u1ec9 tr\u00edch v\u00e0 m\u1ec9a mai l\u1eddi ch\u1ec9 tr\u00edch. Anh ta th\u1ec9nh tho\u1ea3ng d\u00f9ng \u0111\u1ebfn nh\u1eefng b\u00e0i thuy\u1ebft gi\u1ea3ng n\u00f3ng gi\u1eadn m\u00e0 tr\u1ea3i \u0111\u1ec1u trong th\u1eddi gian d\u00e0i r\u00fat lui v\u00e0 y\u00ean l\u1eb7ng.<\/p>\n \u1eaet h\u1eb3n c\u1ea3 hai t\u1ef1 th\u1ea5y m\u00ecnh t\u1ed9i l\u1ed7i. M\u1ed7i b\u00ean \u0111\u00e3 x\u00e9 to\u1ea1c t\u00ecnh y\u00eau b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n v\u00e0 t\u00ecnh y\u00eau b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi ra \u0111\u1ec3 t\u1ef1 t\u00ecm cho m\u00ecnh m\u1ed9t v\u1ecb th\u1ebf \u0111\u1ec3 t\u01b0\u01a1ng t\u00e1c l\u1eabn nhau v\u00e0 ki\u1ec3m ch\u1ee9ng c\u00e1i c\u01b0\u01a1ng quy\u1ebft c\u1ee7a nhau.\u01af\u1edbc ao c\u1ee7a c\u1ea3 hai l\u00e0 \u00a0n\u1ed7 l\u1ef1c \u0111\u1ec3 \u0111\u1ea1t \u0111\u1ef1\u01a1c uy th\u1ebf.<\/p>\n K\u1ebft qu\u1ea3 l\u00e0 xung \u0111\u1ed9t h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n.<\/p>\n Trung t\u00e2m c\u1ee7a\u00a0 m\u1ecdi xung \u0111\u1ed9t chinh l\u00e0 c\u00e1i T\u00f4i. H\u1ea7u h\u1ebft m\u1ecdi ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u0111\u1ed5 l\u1ed7i cho t\u00ecnh h\u00ecnh chung- c\u00f4ng vi\u1ec7c kh\u00f4ng\u00a0 tho\u1ea3i m\u00e1i; c\u0103n h\u1ed9 nh\u1ecf, tr\u1ebb con nh\u1eb7ng x\u1ecb; h\u00e0ng x\u00f3m, qu\u00e1 \u00edt t\u1ec1n; s\u1ef1 can thi\u1ec7p c\u1ee7a \u0111\u1eb1ng v\u1ee3\/ch\u1ed3ng\u2026vv. Nh\u01b0ng v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 c\u1ed1t y\u1ebfu c\u1ee7a n\u00f3 ch\u00ednh l\u00e0 c\u00e1i t\u00f4i c\u1ee7a con ng\u01b0\u1eddi(Human Ego)n\u00f3 tho\u1ea3 l\u00f2ng t\u1ef1 do.C\u00e1i t\u00f4i ch\u1ec9 mu\u1ed1n n\u00f3 l\u00e0m nh\u1eefng g\u00ec th\u1ea5y tho\u1ea3i m\u00e1i v\u00e0 tr\u00f4ng d\u1ee3i s\u1ef1 h\u1ee3p t\u00e1c to\u00e0n di\u1ec7n c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi. N\u00f3i c\u00e1ch kh\u00e1c, v\u1ee3 hay ch\u1ed3ng mu\u1ed1n l\u00e0 m\u1eb7t tr\u1eddi v\u00e0 b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi ph\u1ea3i quay quanh qu\u1ef9 \u0111\u1ea1o c\u1ee7a n\u00f3 gi\u1ed1ng nh\u01b0 m\u1ed9t h\u00e0nh tinh ngoan ngo\u00e3n.N\u1ebfu hai th\u00e2n th\u1ec3 si\u00eau ph\u00e0m c\u00f3 gi\u00e0nh gi\u1eadt m\u1ed9t \u0111i\u1ec3m gi\u1eefa c\u1ee7a h\u1ec7 m\u1eb7t tr\u1eddi\u00a0 th\u00ec k\u1ebft c\u1ee5c s\u1ebd l\u00e0 s\u1ef1 h\u1ed7n \u0111\u1ed9n. Nh\u01b0ng \u00a0ch\u00ednh x\u00e1c chuy\u1ec7n g\u00ec \u00a0x\u1ea3y ra trong\u00a0 \u0111\u1eddi s\u1ed1ng h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n.<\/p>\n Nhi\u1ec1u b\u1ea1n tr\u1ebb mong mu\u1ed1n nhanh ch\u00f3ng k\u1ebft h\u00f4n \u0111\u1ec3 tho\u00e1t kh\u1ecfi t\u00ecnh tr\u1ea1ng kh\u00f3 ch\u1ecbu trong gia \u0111\u00ecnh m\u00ecnh. V\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 th\u1ef1c s\u1ef1 kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i la gia \u0111\u00ecnh\u00a0 hay cha m\u1eb9 nh\u01b0g v\u00ec c\u00e1i t\u00f4i t\u1ed9i l\u1ed7i, n\u00f3 \u0111\u00e3 \u0111\u1ed3ng h\u00e0nh v\u00e0o cu\u1ed9c s\u1ed1ng h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd v\u00e0 sau \u0111\u00f3 c\u00e1i t\u00f4i \u00edch k\u1ef7 b\u1eaft \u0111\u1ea7u ph\u1ea3n \u1ee9ng v\u1edbi c\u00e1i t\u00f4i \u00edch k\u1ef7 kh\u00e1c v\u00e0 nh\u1eefng v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 c\u0169 k\u1ef9 \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c bao ph\u1ee7 tr\u00ean nh\u1eefng k\u1ebb m\u1edbi. Ch\u00faa s\u1ebd ph\u1ea3i tha t\u1ed9i t\u1ed5 t\u00f4ng\u00a0 c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang ta v\u00e0 ch\u00fang ta c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 s\u1ed1ng h\u1ea1nh ph\u00fac v\u1edbi b\u1ea1n\u00a0 \u0111\u1eddi \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c.<\/p>\n Khi vi\u1ec7c trao \u0111\u1ed5i c\u00f3 \u00fd ngh\u0129a\u00a0 trong \u0111\u1eddi s\u1ed1ng v\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng b\u1ecb ph\u00e1 v\u1ee1, d\u1ea5u hi\u1ec7u \u0111\u1eb7c tr\u01b0ng s\u1ebd: B\u00f9ng n\u1ed5 cu\u1ed9c c\u00e3i v\u00e3\u00a0ngay c\u1ea3 s\u1ef1 vi\u1ec7c r\u1ea5t nh\u1ecf m\u1ecdn. \u0110\u00f4i khi cu\u1ed9c c\u00e3i va n\u00e0y x\u1ea3y ra th\u01b0\u1eddng xuy\u00ean \u0111\u1ebfn l\u1ed7i m\u1ed9t b\u00ean s\u1ebd c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y h\u1ecd kh\u00f4ng h\u1ee3p v\u1edbi nhau. Trong m\u1eaft Ch\u00faa th\u00ec ch\u1eb3ng c\u00f3 g\u00ec la kh\u00f4ng h\u1ee3p nhau c\u1ea3- Th\u1ee9 nh\u1ea5t c\u1ea3 h\u1ea3i ph\u1ea3i \u0111\u1ea7u h\u00e0ng Ch\u00faa Gi\u00easu.Ch\u1ec9 sau khi\u00a0 v\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng \u0111\u1eb7t Ch\u00faa v\u00e0o v\u1ecb tr\u00ed \u0111\u1eddi s\u1ed1ng h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n v\u00e0 t\u00ecm ki\u1ebfm l\u1ed3ng nh\u00e2n t\u1eeb c\u1ee7a Ch\u00faa, ch\u1ec9 khi \u0111\u00f3 hanh ph\u00fac v\u00e0 b\u00ecnh an s\u1ebd ng\u1ef1 tr\u1ecb.<\/p>\n Kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i cu\u1ed9c c\u00e3i v\u00e3 n\u00e0o c\u0169ng mang t\u00ednh ph\u00e1 hu\u1ef7. Ch\u00fang ta ph\u1ea3i h\u1ec3u r\u00f5 v\u1ec1 \u0111\u1ec3m n\u00e0y. M\u1ed9t s\u1ed1 cu\u1ed9c c\u00e3i v\u00e3 c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 c\u1ea7n thi\u1ebft \u0111\u1ec3 \u0111\u00e0o th\u1ea3i\u00a0 nh\u1eefng v\u1ebft th\u01b0\u01a1ng day d\u1ee9t v\u00ec n\u00f3 l\u00e0 nguy\u00ean nh\u00e2n \u0111\u1ea9y b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi c\u00e1ch xa nhau. C\u1ea7n c\u00f3 s\u1ef1 thay \u0111\u1ed5i c\u1ea7n thi\u1ebft. Nh\u1eefng vi\u1ec7c l\u00e0m t\u00ecnh l\u00e0m t\u1ed9i hay nh\u1eefng l\u1eddi cay \u0111\u1ed9c kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0 c\u00e2u tr\u1ea3 l\u1eddi. Ho\u00e0n to\u00e0n ng\u01b0\u1ee3c l\u1ea1i, n\u00f3 ch\u1ec9 gi\u00fap\u00a0 l\u00e0m t\u0103ng th\u00eam c\u0103ng th\u1eb3ng v\u00e0\u00a0 \u0111\u1ea9y ch\u00fang ta t\u1edbi ch\u1ed7 ng\u00e0y c\u00e0ng xa nhau h\u01a1n. Th\u1ea3o lu\u1eadn m\u1ed9t c\u00e1ch vui v\u1ebb s\u1ebd l\u00e0 ph\u01b0\u01a1ng k\u1ebf t\u1ed1t \u0111em l\u1ea1i c\u1ea3m gi\u00e1c th\u1ef1 s\u1ef1 c\u1edfi m\u1edf. H\u00e3y nghe nh\u1eefng l\u1eddi h\u01b0\u1edbng d\u1eabn b\u1ed5 \u00edch d\u01b0\u1edbi \u0111\u00e2y:<\/p>\n Th\u1ee9 nh\u1ea5t: Ch\u00fang ta ph\u1ea3i c\u00f3 m\u1ee5c \u0111\u00edch v\u00e0 \u00fd \u0111\u1ed3 \u0111\u1ec3 hi\u1ec3u ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c s\u00e2u h\u01a1n v\u00e0 t\u1ed1t h\u01a1n. N\u1ebfu \u0111\u1ea1t \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y, Ta ph\u1ea3i c\u1ea3m t\u1ea1 Ch\u00faa v\u1ec1\u00a0 s\u1ef1 b\u1ea5t h\u00f2a. M\u1ee5c \u0111\u00edch c\u1ee7a\u00a0 cu\u1ed9c tranh lu\u1eadn kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i \u0111\u1ec3 ph\u00e2n bi\u1ec7t ai th\u1eafng ai thua, m\u1ee5c \u0111\u00edch kh\u00f4ng \u0111\u1ec3 t\u00f4n th\u1edd b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi nh\u01b0ng \u0111\u1ec3 c\u00f3 c\u00e1i nh\u00ecn m\u1edbi m\u1ebb trong t\u01b0 t\u01b0\u1edfng v\u00e0 c\u1ea3m x\u00fac c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi, v\u00e0 c\u0169ng t\u00ecm ra c\u00e1i g\u00ec \u0111\u00e3 t\u00e1c \u0111\u1ed9ng \u0111\u1ebfn v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1. Th\u1eadt th\u00f4ng minh khi m\u1ed7i ng\u01b0\u1eddi l\u01b0\u1ee3c l\u1ea1i nh\u1eefng v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 c\u1ee7a ng\u01b0\u1eddi kia \u0111\u1ec3 \u0111em l\u1ea1i s\u1ef1 h\u00e0i l\u00f2ng cho b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi. \u0110i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y c\u0169ng mang l\u1ea1i cho b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi c\u01a1 h\u1ed9i \u0111\u1ec3 bi\u1ebft r\u1eb1ng b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi m\u00ecnh c\u0169ng hi\u1ec3u r\u00f5 \u0111\u1ef1\u01a1c v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1. \u0110\u00e1nh g\u00eda cao v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 l\u00e0 s\u1ef1 gi\u00fap \u0111\u1ee1 to l\u1edbn v\u00e0 l\u00e0 k\u1ebft qu\u1ea3 \u0111\u1ec3 vi\u1ec7c gi\u1ea3i quy\u1ebft\u00a0 xung \u0111\u1ed9t s\u1ebd ch\u00f3ng \u0111\u1ea1t \u0111\u1ef1\u01a1c.<\/p>\n Th\u1ee9 hai: Ch\u00fang\u00a0 ph\u1ea3i c\u1ea7u kh\u1ea9n s\u1ef1 gi\u00fap \u0111\u1ee1 c\u1ee7a Ch\u00faa. Ch\u00fang ta c\u1ea7n s\u1ef1 gi\u00fap \u0111\u1ee1 c\u1ee7a Ng\u01b0\u1eddi v\u00ec nhi\u1ec1u l\u00fd do; m\u1ed9t trong s\u1ed1 \u0111\u00f3\u00a0\u00a0 ch\u00ednh l\u00e0 \u0111\u1ec3 ki\u1ec3m so\u00e1t \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c t\u00ecnh\u00a0 c\u1ea3m. Nhi\u1ec1u khi ch\u00fang ta n\u00f3i nh\u1eefng \u0111i\u1ec1u theo\u00a0 t\u00e2m tr\u1ea1ng t\u00ecnh c\u1ea3m m\u00e0 ch\u00fang ta kh\u00f4ng c\u00f3 \u00fd nh\u01b0 v\u1eady. Do v\u1eady ch\u00fang ta d\u1ec5 d\u00e0ng n\u00f3i nh\u1eefng \u0111i\u1ec1u l\u00e0m \u0111au l\u00f2ng, c\u1eaft \u0111\u1ee9t hay hu\u1ef7 ho\u1ea1i n\u00f3. Nh\u1eefng \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y ho\u00e0n to\u00e0n kh\u00f3 qu\u00ean ngay \u0111i \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c. ch\u00fang ta kh\u00f4ng c\u00f3 \u00fd n\u00f3i t\u00ecnh c\u1ea3m kh\u00f4ng hi\u1ec7n di\u1ec7n n\u01a1i n\u00e0y. Ch\u00fang ta \u0111\u00e3 kh\u00f4ng bao gi\u1edd c\u00f3 kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng b\u00e0y t\u1ecf t\u00ecnh c\u1ea3m ch\u00e2n th\u00e0nh c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh n\u1ebfu kh\u00f4ng c\u00f3 t\u00ecnh c\u1ea3m. Ngay c\u1ea3 t\u00ecnh c\u1ea3m \u0111\u00f3 l\u00e0 quy\u1ec1n h\u1ee3p ph\u00e1p, nh\u01b0ng ch\u00fang ta th\u1eadn tr\u1ecdng , ph\u1ea3i ki\u1ec3m so\u00e1t \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c khi d\u00f9ng ch\u00fang m\u1ecdi l\u00fac. N\u00f3 ch\u00ednh l\u00e0 l\u00fd do \u0111\u1ec3 ch\u00fang ta vi\u1ec7n t\u1edbi s\u1ef1 t\u1ef1 ki\u1ec3m so\u00e1t theo quy\u1ec1n n\u0103ng c\u1ee7a Ch\u00faa th\u00e1nh th\u1ea7n. M\u1ed9t qu\u00fd b\u00e0 \u0111\u00e3 c\u00f3 l\u1ea7n k\u1ec3\u00a0 v\u1edbi m\u1ed9t ng\u01b0\u1eddi b\u1ea1n r\u1eb1ng gi\u00e2y ph\u00fat b\u1eaft \u0111\u1ea7u tranh lu\u1eadn l\u00e0m cho ch\u1ed3ng t\u00f4i n\u00f3ng l\u00ean, anh \u1ea5y \u0111\u00e3 n\u00f3i, h\u00e3y \u0111\u1ec3 ch\u00fang con c\u1ea7u nguy\u1ec7n v\u1ec1 v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 n\u00e0y, l\u1eddi c\u1ea7u c\u1ee7a anh \u1ea5y nghe r\u00f5 r\u00e0ng.\u00a0 B\u00e0 n\u00f3i r\u1eb1ng n\u00f3 \u0111\u00e3 c\u00f3 nh\u1eefng \u1ea3nh h\u01b0\u1edfng t\u0129nh l\u1eb7ng c\u1ef1c k\u1ef3 tr\u00ean cu\u1ed9c s\u1ed1ng h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n c\u1ee7a b\u00e0.<\/p>\n Th\u1ee9 ba: Ch\u00fang ta ph\u1ea3i t\u1ea5n c\u00f4ng v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 ch\u1ee9 kh\u00f4ng t\u1ea5n c\u00f4ng con ng\u01b0\u1eddi. KH\u00d4NG \u0110\u1ec0 C\u1eacP T\u1edaI \u0110\u1ed8NG C\u01a0, Trong tr\u01b0\u1eddng h\u1ee3p\u00a0 tranh lu\u1eadn gay g\u1eaft, n\u00f3 d\u1ec5 x\u00e9t \u0111o\u00e1n sai v\u00e0 bu\u1ed9c t\u1ed9i ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c v\u1ec1 nh\u1eefng h\u00e0nh \u0111\u1ed9ng sau n\u00e0y.<\/p>\n Th\u1ee9 t\u01b0: Ch\u00fang ta ph\u1ea3i nh\u1edb th\u01b0\u1eddng khi \u00a0tr\u1ea3i qua nh\u1eefng cu\u1ed9c t\u1ea5n c\u00f4ng b\u1ef1c t\u1ee9c hay nh\u1eefng t\u00ecnh hu\u1ed1ng c\u0103ng th\u1eb3ng v\u00e0 v\u1ec1 nh\u00e0 l\u00e0 h\u01a1n. B\u1ea5t k\u1ef3 d\u1ea5u hi\u1ec7u g\u00ec, ngay c\u1ea3\u00a0 ch\u1eb3ng li\u00ean quan\u00a0 c\u0169ng c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 l\u00e0m ch\u00fang ta b\u1ecb k\u00edch \u0111\u1ed9ng. \u00d4ng ch\u1ed3ng hay b\u00e0 v\u1ee3 r\u1ea5t hay b\u1ecb k\u00edch \u0111\u1ed9ng, c\u00e1i \u0111\u00edch thu\u1eadn ti\u1ec7n duy nh\u1ea5t ch\u00ednh l\u00e0 b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi.<\/p>\n Cu\u1ed1i c\u00f9ng: Ch\u00fang ta ph\u1ea3i bi\u1ebft khi n\u00e0o v\u00e0 l\u00e0m th\u1ebf n\u00e0o \u0111\u1ec3 k\u1ebft th\u00fac cu\u1ed9c tranh lu\u1eadn. M\u1ed9t s\u1ed1 cu\u1ed9c chi\u1ebfn kh\u00f4ng bao gi\u1edd k\u1ebft th\u00fac. Ch\u00fang t\u1ed3n t\u1ea1i sau nhi\u1ec1u n\u0103m. Nhi\u1ec1u khi \u0111\u1ebfn ch\u1ebft m\u00e0 v\u1eabn kh\u00f4ng c\u00f3 k\u1ebft th\u00fac. \u0110i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y ch\u1ec9 l\u00e0m nh\u1ea5n s\u00e2u v\u00e0o d\u00f2ng o\u00e1n h\u1eadn. D\u1ea5u ch\u1ec9 \u2018\u0111\u1ec3 ch\u00fang t\u00f4i b\u1ecf qua\u2019 th\u01b0\u1eddng c\u00f3 ngh\u0129a khi ng\u01b0\u1eddi ta n\u00f3i. N\u1ebfu ti\u1ebfp t\u1ee5c tranh lu\u1eadn v\u1ec1 ch\u1ee7 \u0111\u1ec1 n\u00e0y, ch\u00fang ta ph\u1ea3i trao \u0111\u1ed5i.N\u1ebfu c\u00f3 l\u1ed7i th\u00ec nh\u1eadn l\u1ed7i, kh\u00f4ng gi\u1ea5u n\u00f3 nh\u01b0 ung nh\u1ecdt m\u01b0ng m\u1ee7. N\u1ebfu b\u1ea1n c\u1ea7n\u00a0 th\u1eddi gian \u0111\u1ec3 suy ngh\u0129 sau \u0111\u00f3 s\u1ebd n\u00f3i, v\u00ed d\u1ee5, t\u00f4i \u0111ang b\u1eaft \u0111\u1ea7u hi\u1ec3u quan \u0111i\u1ec3m c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n, nh\u01b0ng t\u00f4i c\u1ea7n th\u00eam th\u1eddi gian \u0111\u1ec3 ngh\u0129 ch\u00edn h\u01a1n \u201d V\u00e0 h\u00e3y l\u00e0m vi\u1ec7c n\u00e0y tr\u01b0\u1edbc m\u1eb7t Ch\u00faa\u201d.<\/p>\n L\u00e0m th\u1ebf n\u00e0o gi\u1ea3i quy\u1ebft xung \u0111\u1ed9t?<\/strong><\/p>\n M\u1ed9t s\u1ed1 nguy\u00ean t\u1eafc trong Kinh th\u00e1nh s\u1ebd gi\u00fap ch\u00fang ta<\/p>\n Th\u1ee9 nh\u1ea5t: Ch\u00fang ta n\u00ean t\u1eadp chung v\u00e0o nh\u1eefng sai l\u1ea7m c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh v\u00e0 t\u1ef1 m\u00ecnh t\u00ecm ra c\u00e1ch \u0111\u1ec3 c\u1ea3i thi\u1ec7n.<\/p>\n Tr\u00e1nh xa nh\u1eefng c\u00e1m d\u1ed7 khi\u1ebfn ta h\u1eddn d\u1ed7i do b\u1ea5t k\u1ef3 vi\u1ec7c l\u00e0m sai tr\u00e1i n\u00e0o \u1eadp \u0111\u1ebfn ta.<\/p>\n T\u1ed9i c\u0169\u00a0 v\u00e0 s\u1ef1 b\u1ea5t c\u00f4ng b\u1eb1ng kh\u00f4ng n\u00ean t\u00e1i c\u1ea3nh\u00a0 b\u00e1o.<\/p>\n Ki\u1ec3m nghi\u1ec7m c\u00f3 ph\u1ea3i ch\u00fang ta \u0111\u00f3ng g\u00f3p m\u1ed9t ph\u1ea7n l\u1ed7i- c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 ch\u00fang ta \u0111\u00e3 \u0111\u1eb7t ra nh\u1eefng y\u00eau c\u1ea7u n\u1eb7ng nh\u1ecdc\u00a0 l\u00ean b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi v\u00ec l\u1ee3i \u00edch c\u1ee7a ch\u00ednh ch\u00fang ta.<\/p>\n Ch\u00fang ta c\u00f3 l\u00e3nh \u0111\u1ea1m\u00a0 v\u1edbi nhu c\u1ea7u c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi ch\u0103ng?<\/p>\n M\u1ee5c \u0111\u00edch l\u1ea1nh nh\u1ea1t khi ta b\u1ecb t\u1ed5n th\u01b0\u01a1ng kh\u00f4ng?<\/p>\n L\u00e0 s\u1ef1 ki\u00eau h\u00e3nh \u00edch k\u1ef7 ch\u0103ng?<\/p>\n R\u1ea5t d\u1ec5 d\u00e0ng l\u00e0m cho t\u00e2m tr\u00ed ta\u00a0 cu\u1ed1n v\u00e0o ph\u1ea7n \u0111\u1ed5 l\u1ed7i c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi- \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y \u0111\u00f4i khi c\u00f3 khuynh h\u01b0\u1edbng l\u00e0m\u00a0 v\u1eady v\u00ec b\u1ea3n ch\u1ea5t sai l\u1ea7m c\u1ee7a con ng\u01b0\u1eddi. Ch\u00fang ta ph\u1ea3i d\u00e0nh th\u1eddi gian \u0111\u1ec3 h\u1ecdc c\u00e1ch\u00a0 tr\u00e1nh\u00a0 c\u00e1i b\u1eaby n\u00e0y.<\/p>\n Ch\u00fang ta th\u01b0\u1eddng bi\u1ec7n h\u1ed9 nh\u01b0, t\u00f4i \u0111\u00e3 l\u00e0m \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3(hay n\u00f3i \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3 v\u00ec b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi \u0111\u00e3 n\u00f3i v\u1eady hay \u0111\u00e3 l\u00e0 \u0111i\u1ec1u g\u00ec \u0111\u00f3 tr\u01b0\u1edbc \u0111\u00f3- nh\u01b0ng \u0111\u00e2y l\u00e0 m\u1ed9t th\u1ee7 \u0111o\u1ea1n c\u1ee7a ma qu\u1ef7.Ma qu\u1ef7 lu\u00f4n th\u00edch ch\u00fang ta t\u1eadp chung v\u00e0o nh\u1eefng sai l\u1ea7m c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi thay v\u00ec v\u00e0 nh\u1eefng sai l\u1ea7m c\u1ee7a ch\u00ednh m\u00ecnh- v\u00e0 t\u1eeb \u0111\u00f3 n\u00f3 ti\u1ebfn h\u00e0nh m\u1ed1i b\u1ea5t h\u00f2a. \u0110\u1ee9c Kit\u00f4 n\u00f3i \u0111\u00f3 l\u00e0 \u0111\u1ea1o \u0111\u1ee9c gi\u1ea3.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n M\u00e1t th\u00eau 7:5, vi\u1ebft\u00a0 <\/strong><\/span>Matthew 7: 5,\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong>\u201cH\u1ee1i k\u1ebb \u0111\u1ea1o \u0111\u1ee9c gi\u1ea3! L\u1ea5y c\u00e1i x\u00e0 ra kh\u1ecfi m\u1eaft anh tr\u01b0\u1edbc \u0111\u00e3, r\u1ed3i anh s\u1ebd th\u1ea5y r\u00f5, \u0111\u1ec3 l\u1ea5y c\u00e1i r\u00e1c ra kh\u1ecfi m\u1eaft ng\u01b0\u1eddi anh em.\u201d <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong>\u201cHYPOCRITE!\u00a0 FIRST REMOVE THE PLANK FROM YOUR OWN EYE, AND THEN YOU WILL SEE CLEARLY TO REMOVE THE SPECK OUT OF YOUR BROTHER\u2019S EYE.\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n \u0110\u00f3 l\u00e0 b\u1ea3n t\u00ednh th\u00f4 thi\u1ec3n c\u1ee7a con ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u0111\u1ed1i x\u1eed v\u1edbi k\u1ebb kh\u00e1c v\u00e0 \u00eam d\u1ecbu v\u1edbi b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n m\u00ecnh. \u0110\u00e2y ch\u00ednh l\u00e0 ch\u1ee7 ngh\u0129a c\u00e1i T\u00f4i. T\u00ednh con ng\u01b0\u1eddi n\u00f3i c\u00e1ch kh\u00e1c th\u1ec3 hi\u1ec7n s\u1ef1 dung th\u1ee9 k\u1ebb kh\u00e1c, nh\u01b0ng ch\u00ednh x\u00e1c l\u00e0 cho b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n m\u00ecnh. N\u1ebfu ta th\u00fa nh\u1eadn s\u1ef1 ki\u00eau h\u00e3nh c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh, Ch\u00faa s\u1ebd tha th\u1ee9 v\u00e0 b\u1ea3o t\u1ed3n ho\u00e0 h\u1ee3p h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n. M\u1ed9t khi ch\u00fang ta th\u00fa nh\u1eadn ph\u1ea7n l\u1ed7i l\u1ea7m c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh v\u00e0 s\u1ebd nh\u1eadn \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c \u01a1n Ch\u00faa ban , ch\u00fang ta c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 c\u1ea7u xin Ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u0111\u1ec3 chi\u1ebfn th\u1eafng t\u1ed9i l\u1ed7i c\u1ee9ng c\u1ed5 c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang ta.C\u00e1ch n\u00e0y c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 t\u1ef1 t\u1eeb b\u1ecf l\u00f2ng ham mu\u1ed1n theo c\u00e1ch c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang ta m\u1ecdi \u0111u\u1eddng. Ch\u00fang ta th\u01b0\u1eddng ngh\u0129 m\u1ecdi th\u1ee9 s\u1ebd \u1ed5n, ch\u1ec9 khi b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi thay \u0111\u1ed5i, nh\u01b0ng n\u00f3 hi\u1ebfm khi chi\u1ebfu s\u00e1ng tr\u00ean ch\u00fang ta ngay c\u1ea3 c\u1ea7n thay \u0111\u1ed5i. Ch\u00fang ta kh\u00f4ng bao gi\u1edd thay \u0111\u1ed5i \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c k\u1ebb kh\u00e1c b\u1eb1ng c\u00e1ch \u0111\u1ed5 l\u1ed7i hay ch\u1ec9 tr\u00edch. Th\u1ee7 \u0111o\u1ea1n n\u00e0y ch\u1ec9 d\u1eabn \u0111\u1ebfn b\u1edd v\u1ef1c c\u1ee7a chia ly. Ch\u00faa c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 ban cho ch\u00fang ta ng\u01b0\u1eddi b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi m\u1edbi v\u00e0 t\u1ed1t h\u01a1n. Ch\u00faa kh\u00f4ng mong mu\u1ed1n ch\u00fang ta thay \u0111\u1ed5i b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi; Ch\u00faa ch\u1ec9 mong \u0111\u1ee3i ch\u00fang ta \u0111\u00e1p \u1ee9ng nh\u1eefng nhu c\u1ea7u c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi. N\u1ebfu ch\u00fang ta t\u1ef1 c\u1ea3i thi\u1ec7n m\u00ecnh, cu\u1ed9c s\u1ed1ng h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n s\u1ebd t\u1ef1 \u0111\u01b0\u01a1c c\u1ea3i thi\u1ec7n. \u0110\u00f3 ch\u00edch l\u00e0 quan \u0111i\u1ec3m kh\u00f4ngt \u00edch k\u1ef7\u00a0 l\u00e0m cho b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi tho\u1ea3i m\u00e1i, \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y s\u1ebd mang\u00a0 l\u1ea1i ph\u1ea7n thu\u1edfng cho ta.<\/span><\/p>\n Th\u1ee9 hai: H\u00e3y tha th\u1ee9 cho b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi. Th\u1eadt kh\u00f3\u00a0 khi tha th\u01b0 cho b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi n\u1ebfu kh\u00f4ng b\u00e0y t\u1ecf mong mu\u1ed1n \u0111\u1ef1\u01a1c th\u1ee9 tha. Nh\u01b0ng thay v\u00ec th\u1ebf, ch\u00fang ta n\u00ean \u0111\u1ee9ng tr\u00ean m\u1ecdi \u0111i\u1ec1u v\u00e0 ch\u1ea5p nh\u1eadn th\u1ef1c t\u1ebf v\u00e0 nh\u1eadn th\u1ea5y r\u1eb1ng m\u1ed9t ph\u1ea7n l\u1ed7i l\u1ea7m c\u0169ng do ta m\u00e0 c\u00f3. V\u1edbi \u00fd ngh\u0129a \u0111\u00f3, ch\u00fang ta s\u1ebd d\u1ec5 d\u00e0ng th\u1ee9 tha cho b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi h\u01a1n.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n M\u00e1t th\u00eau 18:21-22<\/strong><\/span> ch\u00e9p Matthew 18: 21-22,\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cB\u1ea5y gi\u1edd, \u00f4ng Ph\u00ear\u00f4 \u0111\u1ebfn g\u1ea7n \u00d0\u1ee9c Gi\u00easu m\u00e0 h\u1ecfi r\u1eb1ng: “Th\u01b0a Th\u1ea7y, n\u1ebfu anh em con c\u1ee9 x\u00fac ph\u1ea1m \u0111\u1ebfn con, th\u00ec con ph\u1ea3i tha \u0111\u1ebfn m\u1ea5y l\u1ea7n? C\u00f3 ph\u1ea3i b\u1ea3y l\u1ea7n kh\u00f4ng?” (22) \u00d0\u1ee9c Gi\u00easu \u0111\u00e1p: “Th\u1ea7y kh\u00f4ng b\u1ea3o l\u00e0 \u0111\u1ebfn b\u1ea3y l\u1ea7n, nh\u01b0ng l\u00e0 \u0111\u1ebfn b\u1ea3y m\u01b0\u01a1i l\u1ea7n b\u1ea3y”.\u201d\u00a0 <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cTHEN PETER CAME TO HIM AND SAID, ‘LORD, HOW OFTEN SHALL MY BROTHER SIN AGAINST ME, AND I FORGIVE HIM?\u00a0 UP TO SEVEN TIMES?\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0J<\/strong>ESUS SAID TO HIM, \u201cI DO NOT SAY TO YOU UP TO SEVEN TIMES, BUT UP TO SEVENTY TIMES SEVEN.\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n B\u1ea3y m\u01b0\u01a1i l\u1ea7n b\u1ea3y l\u00e0 c\u00e1ch t\u01b0\u1ee3ng tr\u01b0ng cho s\u1ed1 l\u1ea7n v\u00f4 t\u1eadn.\u0110\u00f4i khi ng\u01b0\u1eddi n\u00e0y hay ng\u01b0\u1eddi kia c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 n\u00f3i nh\u01b0ng l\u1ed7i \u0111au l\u00e0 qu\u00e1 l\u1edbn. T\u00f4i kh\u00f4ng th\u1ebb tha th\u1ee9 \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c.<\/span><\/p>\n \u0110\u00e2y l\u00e0 c\u1ea3m gi\u00e1c quan tr\u1ecdng b\u1eadc nh\u1ea5t.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n M\u00e1tth\u00eau 6:14<\/strong><\/span>-Ch\u00faa Gi\u00easu ph\u00e1n<\/p>\n \u201cTh\u1eadt v\u1eady, n\u1ebfu anh em tha l\u1ed7i cho ng\u01b0\u1eddi ta, th\u00ec Cha anh em tr\u00ean tr\u1eddi c\u0169ng s\u1ebd tha th\u1ee9 cho anh em.\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cFOR IF YOU FORGIVE MEN THEIR TRESPASSES, YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER WILL ALSO FORGIVE YOU.\u00a0\u00a0 BUT IF YOU DO NOT FORGIVE MEN THEIR TRESPASSES, NEITHER\u00a0WILL YOUR FATHER FORGIVE YOU\u00a0YOUR TRESPASSES.\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n \u0110i\u1ec1u quan tr\u1ecdng c\u1ee7a l\u00f2ng tha th\u1ee9 kh\u00f4ng bao gi\u1edd c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 \u01b0\u1edbc ch\u1eebng \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c, nh\u01b0ng khi ch\u00fang ta tha th\u1ee9, nh\u1eefng o\u00e1n gi\u1eadn v\u00e0 cay \u0111\u1eafng c\u1ee7a ch\u00ednh ch\u00fang ta s\u1ebd tan ch\u1ea3y h\u1ebft.G\u00e1nh n\u1eb7ng c\u1ee7a ta s\u1ebd nh\u1eb9 nh\u00e0ng h\u01a1n, t\u01b0 t\u01b0\u1edfng m\u1ecfng manh v\u00e0 c\u1ed1 ch\u1ea5p s\u1ebd b\u1ecb tri\u1ec7t ph\u00e1. Ch\u00fang ta s\u1ebd tr\u1edf th\u00e0nh k\u1ebb t\u1ed1t h\u01a1n. V\u00e0 \u0111\u00f3 l\u00e0 nh\u1eefng g\u00ec ch\u00fang ta mu\u1ed1n tr\u1edf th\u00e0nh.Nh\u1eefng \u00e1c c\u1ea3m c\u0169 \u0111\u1ed1i v\u1edbi b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi s\u1ebd \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c thay th\u1ebf b\u1eb1ng s\u1ef1 quan t\u00e2m th\u1ef1c s\u1ef1 v\u00e0 s\u1ebd t\u1ea1o ra cu\u1ed9c h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n ho\u00e0 h\u1ee3p. \u0110\u1ec3 \u0111\u01b0a n\u00f3 v\u00e0o v\u1ecf c\u1ee7a con s\u00f2, khi ta tha th\u1ee9 ch\u00ednh l\u00e0 l\u00fac t\u1ef1 gi\u00fap b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n, b\u1eb1ng c\u00e1ch gi\u00fap b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi.V\u00e0 k\u1ebft qu\u1ea3 cu\u1ed1i c\u00f9ng s\u1ebd l\u00e0 cu\u1ed9c h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n ho\u00e0 h\u1ee3p l\u1ea1i \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c b\u1ea3o t\u1ed3n.<\/span><\/p>\n Th\u1ee9 ba: Xin l\u1ed7i ch\u00e2n th\u1ef1c v\u00e0 th\u1eb3ng th\u1eafn. Kh\u00f4ng \u0111\u1ef1\u01a1c c\u00f3 \u2018n\u1ebfu\u2019 v\u00e0 \u2018nh\u01b0ng m\u00e0\u2019. Theo (Gia c\u00f4 b\u00ea)\u00a0<\/span><\/span>James 5:16<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>vi\u1ebft\u00a0<\/span><\/span>James 5:16,<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cAnh em h\u00e3y th\u00fa t\u1ed9i v\u1edbi nhau v\u00e0 c\u1ea7u nguy\u1ec7n cho nhau \u0111\u1ec3 \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c c\u1ee9u tho\u00e1t. V\u00ec l\u1eddi c\u1ea7u xin tha thi\u1ebft c\u1ee7a ng\u01b0\u1eddi c\u00f4ng ch\u00ednh r\u1ea5t c\u00f3 hi\u1ec7u l\u1ef1c.\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong>\u201cCONFESS YOUR TRESPASSES TO ONE ANOTHER, AND PRAY FOR ONE ANOTHER THAT YOU MAY BE HEALED.\u00a0\u00a0 THE EFFECTIVE, FERVENT PRAYER OF A RIGHTEOUS MAN AVAILS MUCH, HONEST AND FRANK ADMITTANCE OF GUILT IS A POWERFUL HEALING FORCE.\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Cu\u1ed1i c\u00f9ng: ch\u00fang ta n\u00ean xin l\u1ed7i ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c.<\/span><\/p>\n T\u1ea1i sao l\u1ea1i kh\u00f3 xin l\u1ed7i?<\/span><\/p>\n L\u00f2ng ki\u00eau h\u00e3nh kh\u00f4ng ch\u1ea5p nh\u1eadn \u1edf l\u00fd do \u0111\u1ea7u ti\u00ean nh\u01b0ng ho\u00e0n to\u00e0n th\u00edch h\u1ee3p trong qu\u00e1 kh\u1ee9, m\u1ed9t ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u0111\u00e3 xin l\u1ed7i nh\u01b0ng kh\u00f4ng \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c tha th\u1ee9. V\u00e0 gi\u1edd \u0111\u00e2y kh\u00f4ng c\u00f3 d\u0169ng kh\u00ed \u0111\u1ec3 xin \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c tha th\u1ee9, c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 c\u00f3 nh\u00e2n n\u00e0y s\u1ebd ngh\u0129 c\u1ea7u xin k\u1ebb n\u00e0y tha th\u01b0 nh\u01b0 th\u1ec3 m\u00f2 kim \u0111\u00e1y b\u1ec3 do v\u1eady h\u1ecd d\u1eebng c\u1ea7u xin.<\/span><\/p>\n C\u00e1ch kh\u00e1c, c\u0169ng c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 ng\u01b0\u1eddi xin l\u1ed7i l\u1ea1i c\u00f3 th\u00e1i \u0111\u1ed9 kh\u00f4ng \u0111\u00fang khi xin l\u1ed7i \u0111\u00e3 l\u00e0m cho k\u1ebb kia t\u1eeb m\u1eb7t. Ch\u00fang ta ph\u1ea3i bi\u1ebft r\u1eb1ng v\u1edbi t\u00ecnh hu\u1ed1ng nhu v\u1eady, c\u00f3 r\u1ea5t nhi\u1ec1u th\u00e1i \u0111\u1ed9 t\u00ecnh c\u1ea3m v\u00e0 k\u00fd \u01b0\u1edbc t\u00edch c\u1ef1c \u0111ang di\u1ec5n ra.C\u00f3 th\u1ec3 c\u00f3 nh\u1eefng c\u00e1ch m\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng\u00a0 h\u1ee3p theo cach c\u1ee7a ta\u00a0 hay m\u1ed9t sai l\u1ea7m kh\u00f4ng ph\u00f9 h\u1ee3p. Nhi\u1ec1u ng\u01b0\u1eddi c\u0169ng ngh\u0129 r\u1eb1ng th\u00fa nh\u1eadn m\u1ed9t l\u1ed7i l\u1ea7m l\u00e0 d\u1ea5u hi\u1ec7u c\u1ee7a s\u1ef1 y\u1ebfu \u0111u\u1ed1i, nh\u01b0ng th\u1ef1c s\u1ef1 n\u00f3 l\u00e0 d\u1ea5u hi\u1ec7u c\u1ee7a s\u1ee9c m\u1ea1nh tinh th\u1ea7n v\u00e0 t\u00ecnh c\u1ea3m- \u0111\u00f3 l\u00e0 d\u1ea5u x\u00e1c nh\u1eadn ti\u00eau chu\u1ea9n c\u1ee7a c\u00e1 nh\u00e2n m\u1ea1nh m\u1ebd v\u00e0 c\u00e2n b\u1eb1ng nh\u00e2n c\u00e1ch.<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Th\u00e1nh M\u00e1t th\u00eau 5:23-2<\/span>4<\/strong> vi\u1ebft<\/p>\n \u201cV\u1eady, n\u1ebfu khi anh s\u1eafp d\u00e2ng l\u1ec5 v\u1eadt tr\u01b0\u1edbc b\u00e0n th\u1edd, m\u00e0 s\u1ef1c nh\u1edb c\u00f3 ng\u01b0\u1eddi anh em \u0111ang c\u00f3 chuy\u1ec7n b\u1ea5t b\u00ecnh v\u1edbi anh, (24) th\u00ec h\u00e3y \u0111\u1ec3 c\u1ee7a l\u1ec5 l\u1ea1i \u0111\u00f3 tr\u01b0\u1edbc b\u00e0n th\u1edd, \u0111i l\u00e0m h\u00f2a v\u1edbi ng\u01b0\u1eddi anh em \u1ea5y \u0111\u00e3, r\u1ed3i tr\u1edf l\u1ea1i d\u00e2ng l\u1ec5 v\u1eadt c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh.\u201d <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cTHEREFORE IF YOU BRING YOUR GIFTS TO THE ALTER, AND THERE YOU REMEMBER THAT YOUR BROTHER HAS SOMETHING AGAINST YOU, LEAVE YOUR GIFT THERE BEFORE THE ALTER, AND GO ON YOUR WAY.\u00a0\u00a0 FIRST BE RECONCILED TO YOUR BROTHER, AND THEN COME AND OFFER YOUR GIFT.\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong>Xin h\u00e3y \u0111\u1ecdc l\u1ea1i \u0111o\u1ea1n tr\u00edch n\u00e0y v\u00e0 c\u1ed1 kh\u00e1m ph\u00e1 l\u1eddi d\u1ea1y c\u1ee7a Ch\u00faa Kit\u00f4. T\u00f4i \u0111\u00e3 l\u00e0 ngu\u1eddi C\u00f4ng gi\u00e1o , t\u00f4i \u0111\u00e3 nghe \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y nhi\u1ec1u l\u1ea7n nh\u01b0ng ch\u1ec9 khi\u00a0 t\u00f4i c\u00f3 \u00fd \u0111\u1ecbnh suy ng\u1eabm v\u1ec1 n\u00f3 t\u00f4i m\u1edbi nh\u1eadn ra r\u1eb1ng L\u1eddi Ch\u00faa c\u00f2n v\u01b0\u1ee3t xa h\u01a1n nhi\u1ec1u c\u00e1i b\u00ecnh th\u01b0\u1eddng. N\u1ebfu anh ch\u1ecb em c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh c\u00f3 \u0111i\u1ec1u g\u00ec\u00a0 kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i v\u1edbi m\u00ecnh h\u00e3y \u0111\u1ec3 l\u1ec5 v\u1eadt l\u1ea1i \u0111\u00f3. \u0110\u00f3 kh\u00f4ng ch\u1ec9 l\u00e0 tr\u00e1ch nhi\u1ec7m c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang ta ph\u1ea3i tha th\u01b0 v\u00e0 b\u1ecf qua, n\u00f3 c\u0169ng th\u1ec3 hi\u1ec7n nhi\u1ec7m v\u1ee5 c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang ta \u0111\u1ed1i v\u1edbi ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c v\u1edbi Ch\u00faa \u0111\u1ec3 th\u00fa t\u1ed9i c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh v\u00e0 xin l\u1ed7i ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c. Ch\u00fang ta th\u1ea5y v\u00e0o \u0111\u1ea7u Th\u00e1nh l\u1ec5 ch\u00fang ta th\u01b0\u1eddng th\u00fa nh\u1eadn\u00a0 T\u00f4i th\u00fa nh\u1eadn c\u00f9ng thi\u00ean Ch\u00faa to\u00e0n n\u0103ng v\u00e0 c\u00f9ng anh ch\u1ecb em, t\u00f4i \u0111\u00e3 ph\u1ea1m t\u1ed9i nhi\u1ec1u\u2026\u201d \u0111\u00f3 l\u00e0 \u0111i\u1ec1u quan tr\u1ecdng nh\u01b0ng khi c\u1ea7u nguy\u1ec7n t\u1eeb tr\u00e1i tim m\u00ecnh, ch\u00fang ta c\u00f3 khuynh h\u01b0\u1edbng n\u00f3i l\u1ea9m b\u1ea9m m\u1ed9t c\u00e1ch c\u01a1 h\u1ecdc, kh\u00f4ng suy ngh\u0129 \u00fd ngh\u00eda s\u00e2u xa c\u1ee7a n\u00f3.<\/p>\n Nhi\u1ec1u ng\u01b0\u1eddi\u00a0 c\u00f3 \u00fd ngh\u0129 r\u1eb1ng b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi s\u1ebd tha th\u1ee9 ch\u1eb3ng c\u1ea7n bi\u1ebft m\u00ecnh c\u00f3 xin l\u1ed7i hay kh\u00f4ng. \u0110\u00fang v\u1eady c\u00f4 \u1ea5y\/anh \u1ea5y s\u1ebd tha nh\u01b0ng\u00a0 m\u1ecdi ng\u01b0\u1eddi ph\u1ea3i \u0111\u00e1p tr\u1ea3 cho ch\u00ednh t\u1ed9i l\u1ed7i, l\u1ed7i l\u1ea7m v\u00e0 s\u1ef1 ch\u1ec3nh m\u1ea3ng c\u1ee7a anh\/ch\u1ecb. Ch\u00faa s\u1ebd y\u00eau c\u1ea7u\u00a0 quy tr\u00ecnh nh\u01b0 v\u1eady t\u1eeb b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh. Ch\u00faa ch\u1eafc ch\u1eafn kh\u00f4ng mong \u0111\u1ee3i ch\u00fang ta d\u00e2ng t\u1eb7ng Ch\u00faa c\u1ea3 \u0111\u1ed1ng t\u1ed9i l\u1ed7i c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi.<\/p>\n Nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 y\u00eau c\u1ea7u nh\u01b0ng ai l\u00e0 ng\u01b0\u1eddi b\u1eaft \u0111\u1ea7u? ai s\u1ebd l\u00e0 ng\u01b0\u1eddi b\u01b0\u1edbc \u0111i \u0111\u1ea7u ti\u00ean?\u201d c\u1ea3 hai c\u00e2u h\u1ecfi \u0111\u1ec1u kh\u00f4ng th\u00edch h\u1ee3p, c\u1ea3 hai c\u00e2u h\u1ecfi \u0111\u1ec1u ph\u00e1t sinh ngo\u00e0i c\u00e1i T\u00f4i, t\u1ef1 b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n s\u1ebd \u0111i b\u01b0\u1edbc \u0111i \u0111\u1ea7u ti\u00ean. Sau \u0111\u00f3 ch\u00fang ta h\u00e3y d\u00e2ng cho Ch\u00faa \u0111\u1ec3 d\u00f9ng l\u00f2ng v\u1ecb tha \u0111\u1ec3 h\u00e0n g\u1eafn cu\u1ed9c h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n.<\/p>\n N\u1ebfu\u00a0 b\u1ea1n l\u00e0m vi\u1ec7c h\u0103ng say \u0111\u1ec3 s\u1eeda ch\u1eefa m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh, b\u1ea1n s\u1ebd th\u1ef1c s\u1ef1 s\u1eeda ch\u1eefa n\u00f3. Tuy nhi\u00ean, n\u00f3 c\u0169ng quan tr\u1ecdng kh\u00f4ng k\u00e9m khi hi\u1ec3u\u00a0 m\u1ed9t s\u1ed1 y\u1ebfu t\u1ed1 c\u0103n b\u1ea3n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 r\u01a1i v\u00e0o t\u00ecnh tr\u1ea1ng t\u00e1i ph\u00e1t.<\/p>\n T\u00e1i ph\u00e1t<\/p>\n M\u1ed9t trong nh\u1eefng \u0111i\u1ec1u m\u00e0 c\u1ea3 hai v\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng ph\u1ea3i hi\u1ec3u r\u1eb1ng, m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7\u00a0 c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd sau xung \u0111\u1ed9t r\u1ea5t m\u1ecfng manh. V\u1eabn t\u1ed3n t\u1ea1i k\u00fd \u01b0\u1edbc v\u1ec1 c\u1ea3m gi\u00e1c \u0111au \u0111\u1edbn ch\u01b0a ho\u00e0n to\u00e0n h\u00e0n g\u1eafn h\u1ebft.Ch\u00fang ta ph\u1ea3i hi\u1ec3u s\u1ef1 vi\u1ec7c qu\u00e1 nh\u1ea3y c\u1ea3m c\u1ea7n c\u00f3 h\u1eddi gian m\u1edbi d\u1ea7n d\u1ea7n ngu\u00f4i ngoai \u0111i \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c. Hi\u1ec3u bi\u1ebft n\u00e0y r\u1ea5t c\u1ea7n thi\u1ebft; n\u1ebfu kh\u00f4ng ngay c\u1ea3\u00a0 d\u1ea5u hi\u1ec7u c\u1ef1c k\u1ef3 nh\u1ecf c\u0169ng c\u00f3 v\u1ebb tr\u1edf th\u00e0nh t\u00e1c nh\u00e2n\u00a0 k\u00edch th\u00edch. M\u1ed9t s\u1ed1 ph\u1ea3n \u1ee9ng v\u1ec1 s\u1ef1 t\u00e1i di\u1ec5n l\u00e0:<\/p>\n C\u00e1ch h\u00e0nh x\u1eed n\u00e0y c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 ph\u1ea3i \u0111\u1ea3o ng\u01b0\u1ee3c, n\u1ebfu ch\u00fang kh\u00f4ng ph\u00e1t sinh hay\u00a0 n\u1ebfu ch\u00fang g\u00e2y b\u1ea5t l\u1ee3i trong c\u00e1ch n\u00e0o \u0111\u00f3. \u0110i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y g\u1ecdi l\u00e0 \u0111\u1ed1i m\u1eb7t v\u1edbi\u00a0 nh\u1eefng th\u00f3i quen kh\u00f4ng l\u00e0m g\u00ec c\u1ea3; t\u1eeb b\u1ecf t\u00ecnh tr\u1ea1ng \u0111am m\u00ea; c\u1ea3i t\u1ea1o ph\u1ea7n \u0111\u00e3 m\u1ea5t; s\u1eeda ch\u1eefa h\u01b0 h\u1ea1i; b\u1ea3o t\u1ed3n m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7..vv. B\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi ph\u1ea3i \u00fd th\u1ee9c \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c\u00a0 b\u1ea5t k\u1ef3 s\u1ef1 ph\u00e1t tri\u1ec3n n\u00e0o c\u1ee7a d\u1ea1ng n\u00e0y \u0111\u1ec1u c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 x\u1ea3y ra. Ch\u00fang ta n\u00ean c\u1ea3m t\u1ea1 v\u1ec1 nh\u1eefng ph\u00e1t tri\u1ec3n x\u00e1c th\u1ef1c, nh\u01b0ng \u0111\u1ed1i v\u1edbi b\u1ea5t k\u1ef3 s\u1ef1 ph\u00e1t tri\u1ec3n kh\u00f4ng \u0111\u1ef1\u01a1c c\u1ea3nh b\u00e1o, v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 kh\u00f4ng ch\u1ec9 ri\u00eang c\u1ee7a anh\/ch\u1ecb. C\u1ea3 hai \u0111\u1ec1u ph\u1ea3i c\u1ed1 v\u00e0 gi\u00fap nhau tr\u00e1nh kh\u1ecfi s\u1ef1 b\u1ea5t ho\u00e0.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n ==============================\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n 19. \u00a0 SOLVING CONFLICT\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n No matter how well we get along with our spouse and how well we communicate. there will definitely be differences of opinion. People who claim that they do not have any differences of opinion must be leading a drab, colorless existence or else they possess so little personal individuality, or they are so scared to express the truth about their inner feelings. It would be a remarkable coincidence to find two people who have the same opinion about every subject, every time for years on end.<\/span><\/p>\n Differences of opinion will arise, and any one of many causes will produce them. The first reason could quite easily be the harsh discovery that the spouse does not have all the glittering characteristics what the partner imagined before the wedding. Because we want all the undesirable character traits removed, we straight away, mentally enroll the spouse to the school of marital reforms. We then embark on the stupendous task of reconstructing the partner into an ideal one.<\/span><\/p>\n The favorite method of the wife seems to be nag her Husband. As assistance she resorts to criticism, and when ever necessary to periodical outburst of tears.<\/span><\/p>\n The favorite method of the husband seems to give her \u2018a dig\u2019. That is, to make some cutting comments and sarcastic remarks. He may occasionally, resort to angry lectures which will be interspersed with long periods of withdrawal and silence.<\/span><\/p>\n Two sinful self wills. Each one torn between love of self and love of partner find them self in a situation where they have to interact and test each others right of self-determination. Both wills are struggling to gain supremacy.<\/span><\/p>\n \u00ad The result is Marital Conflict.<\/span><\/p>\n In the heart of every conflict is SELF<\/strong>. Most people blame the circumstances \u00ad the unpleasant work; the small flat, the fuss with children; the neighborhood, too little money; the interference with the in-laws etc. But the real problems are the HUMAN EGO, which wants unbridled freedom. The Ego wants to do just as it pleases, and expects full co-operation of the partner. In other words he or she wants to be the Sun and the partner should circle around in an orbit like an obedient planet. If two heavenly bodies vie for the same middle point in the solar system, the result will be chaos. But this is exactly what happens in so many marriages.<\/span><\/p>\n Some young people want to quickly get into marriage to escape from an unpleasant home situation. The real problem is not the home or the parents but their sinful ego. It is this sinful ego that they bring with them into their marriage. And then this selfish ego begins to react with another selfish ego, and the old problems are overshadowed with newer ones. God will have to correct our old sinful nature, and then we will be able to live happily with another person, in marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n When meaningful communication in marriage has broken down, a typical sign will be: outbreak of arguments over the least little issue. Sometime these arguments will be so frequent, that at least one will have the feeling that they are just not compatible to each other. In God’s eyes there is no incompatibleness \u00ad First the two wills must be surrendered to Jesus Christ. It is only when each partner places Him as the middle point of their marriage, and that each partner seeks His glory only then happiness and peace will reign supreme.<\/span><\/p>\n Not all arguments are destructive. We have to be clear about this point. Some may be necessary outlets to drain out festering wounds, which are driving each other apart. Many changes are often necessary, but nagging or cutting comments will not be the answer. Quite on the contrary it will only help to escalate the tension and drive them still further apart. A good lively discussion will be a good method to bring the true feelings into the open. Listed below are a few guidelines:<\/span><\/p>\n FIRST: We must establish that the aim and purpose will be to get a deeper and better understanding for the other person. If we achieve this objective, we can thank God for the disagreement. The aim of the discussion is not to decide the winner or loser. The aim is not to alter the partner, but to get a fresh insight into the partners thinking and feeling. And also about what is influencing the problem. It is clever when each partner re-states the other people problems to the full satisfaction of the partner. This will give the person the chance to know that the spouse is fully aware of how the problem is felt. Appreciation of a problem is a big help and the goal of solving the conflict will come nearer.<\/span><\/p>\n SECONDLY: We must ask God for His help. We need His help for numerous reasons; one of them is to deal with the control of emotions. Very often we say things under the stress of an emotions, which we do not mean. We could quite easily say things that hurt, cut and destroy. These things are not quickly forgotten. We do not mean that emotions should not be there. We would never be able to express our true feelings if we did not have emotions. Even though it is legal to have emotions we must be careful enough to have them under control at all times. It is for this reason, that we need the self-controlling power of the Holy Spirit. A lady once confided to a friend, that the moment a discussion began to get heated her husband would say, Let us pray about it. His prayer would be audible. She says it had a tremendous tranquilizing effect on her marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n THIRDLY: We must attack the problem not the person. NOT EVEN THE MOTIVES. In the case of critical arguments, it is easy to incorrectly judge character and to accuse the other about ulterior motives.<\/span><\/p>\n FOURTH: We must remember that often when we experience angry attacks or stressful situations and then come home. any remark, even if totally unrelated may get us excited. Very often when the husband or wife is excited, the only convenient target is the spouse.<\/span><\/p>\n LASTLY: We need to know, how and when to conclude our arguments. Some fights never end. They remain for years. Others seem to die without any concluding result. This only deepens the under currents of resentment. The remark of ‘let us forget it\u2019, often means that one person is saying, if we keep on discussing the topic I will have to give in. If we are at fault we should say so and be done with it, not keep it as same undeclared thorn to fester. If you need time to think the matter over then say it, for example like this, I am beginning to see your point but I need time to think it over.\u201d THEN DO THAT-BEFORE THE LORD.<\/span><\/p>\n HOW DO WE SOLVE CONFLICTS?<\/span><\/p>\n There are some Biblical principles that will help us.<\/span><\/p>\n FIRST: We should want to concentrate on our mistakes, and find ways how we can improve our self.<\/span><\/p>\n Avoid the temptation to sulk because of any wrong doings towards us.<\/span><\/p>\n Old offenses and injustices should not be re-warmed.<\/span><\/p>\n Examine whether we have contributed towards some part of the fault \u00ad Maybe we have placed heavy demands on the partner for the sake of our own conveniences.<\/span><\/p>\n Were we indifferent to the needs of a partner?<\/span><\/p>\n Was it coolness we expressed because of our hurt?<\/span><\/p>\n Was it selfish pride?<\/span><\/p>\n It is so easy to let our mind drift to the spouse\u2019s part of the blame \u00ad this is something we tend to do because of our fallen human nature. We have to spend time to learn how to avoid this pit fall.<\/span><\/p>\n We are often tempted to use excuses likes, I did that (or said that because the spouse said or did something before that, \u00ad but this is a ploy from the devil. The devil always prefers that we concentrate on the mistakes of the partner instead of and our own mistakes\u00ad and with that he promotes discord. Jesus said that is hypocrisy.<\/span><\/p>\n In Matthew 7: 5<\/span>, Matth\u00e4us 7: 5<\/span>, <\/strong> he said,<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cHYPOCRITE! FIRST REMOVE THE PLANK FROM YOUR OWN EYE, AND THEN YOU WILL SEE CLEARLY TO REMOVE THE SPECK OUT OF YOUR BROTHER\u2019S EYE.\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n \u201eDu Heuchler! Zieh zuerst den Balken aus deinem Auge, dann kannst du versuchen, den Splitter aus dem Auge deines Bruders herauszuziehen.\u201c <\/strong><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n It is human nature to be harsh to others and mild towards self. This is egoism. HUMILITY ON THE OTHER HAND IS TOLERANT TO THE OTHER, BUT EXACTING TOWARDS SELF. If we admit our pride, God will forgive us and restore marital harmony. Once we have admitted our part of the fault and received God\u2019s grace, we can pray to Him to grant us victory, over our sinful self-will. This way we will be able to relinquish our craving to have our own way in everything. We often think that everything will be OK, if only the partner changed, but it seldom dawns on us that even we need to change. We can never change the other by blaming or criticizing. These tactics only drive the separating wedge further. God can make us new and better spouses. God does not expect that we change our spouse; He only expects that we provide for the needs of the spouse. If we improve our self, our marriage will improve. It is our unselfish attitude towards satisfying the spouse that will bring us reward.<\/span><\/p>\n SECONDLY: Forgive the partner fully. It is difficult to forgive the partner, if the partner does not express any wish to be forgiven. But in spite of this, we should stand above things and accept the fact that at least some part of the fault is due to us. In the light of this, it is easier to forgive the partner.<\/span><\/p>\n In Matthew 18: 21-22<\/span>, Matth\u00e4us 18: 21-22<\/span>,<\/strong> we read,<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cTHEN PETER CAME TO HIM AND SAID, ‘LORD, HOW OFTEN SHALL MY BROTHER SIN AGAINST ME, AND I FORGIVE HIM? UP TO SEVEN TIMES?\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n JESUS SAID TO HIM, \u201cI DO NOT SAY TO YOU UP TO SEVEN TIMES, BUT UP TO SEVENTY TIMES SEVEN.\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n 21 \u201eDa trat Petrus zu ihm und fragte: Herr, wie oft muss ich meinem Bruder vergeben, wenn er sich gegen mich vers\u00fcndigt? Siebenmal?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n 22 Jesus sagte zu ihm: Nicht siebenmal, sondern siebenundsiebzigmal.\u201c<\/strong><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n Seventy times seven is a figurative way of saying endless number of times.<\/span><\/p>\n Sometimes one or the other may say, but the hurt is too big. I cannot forgive this.<\/span><\/p>\n This is a feeling of magnitude. In Matthew 6: 14-15<\/span>, Matth\u00e4us 6: 14-15<\/span>,<\/strong> Jesus said,<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cFOR IF YOU FORGIVE MEN THEIR TRESPASSES, YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER WILL ALSO FORGIVE YOU. BUT IF YOU DO NOT FORGIVE MEN THEIR TRESPASSES, NEITHER WILL YOUR FATHER FORGIVE YOU YOUR TRESPASSES.\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n 14 \u201eDenn wenn ihr den Menschen ihre Verfehlungen vergebt, dann wird euer himmlischer Vater auch euch vergeben. <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n 15 Wenn ihr aber den Menschen nicht vergebt, dann wird euch euer Vater eure Verfehlungen auch nicht vergeben.\u201c<\/strong><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n The importance of forgiveness can never be over estimated, because when we forgive, our own resentment and bitterness will melt. Our burden will be lighter; our brash and intolerant attitude will be dismantled. <\/strong> We will become better persons. And that is what we want become! Our old aversion for the partner will be replaced by genuine concern and this will create marital harmony. To put it in a nut shell WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE HELP OUR SELF AND AT THE SAME TIME, AS WE HELP OUR PARTNER and the end result is that harmony is once again restored.<\/span><\/p>\n THIRDLY: APOLOGIZE honestly and frankly. Do not bring in the, \u2018Ifs\u2019 and \u2018Buts\u2019. In <\/span>James 5:16,<\/span> Jakobus 5:16<\/span>, <\/strong> we read,<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cCONFESS YOUR TRESPASSES TO ONE ANOTHER, AND PRAY FOR ONE ANOTHER THAT YOU MAY BE HEALED. THE EFFECTIVE, FERVENT PRAYER OF A RIGHTEOUS MAN AVAILS MUCH, HONEST AND FRANK ADMITTANCE OF GUILT IS A POWERFUL HEALING FORCE.\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n 16 \u201eDarum bekennt einander eure S\u00fcnden und betet f\u00fcreinander, damit ihr geheiligt werdet. Viel vermag das inst\u00e4ndige Gebet eines Gerechten.\u201c<\/strong><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n LASTLY: We should ask pardon from the other.<\/span><\/p>\n Why is it so difficult to apologize?<\/span><\/p>\n – Pride is without exception the first reason, but it is quite likely that in the past, one did apologize but forgiveness was refused. And now there is no more courage left to ask for forgiveness. Maybe they feel to ask for forgiveness from this person is like asking for feathers from tortoise, so they stop asking.<\/span><\/p>\n On the other hand, it is also possible that there was some kind of an improper attitude when apologizing that put the other person off. We must be clear that under such situations, a lot of negative feeling attitudes and memories are in the way. It may just be possible that there was something either improper about our way or it was mistaken to be improper. Many people also think that the admittance of a fault, is a sign of weakness, but actually it is a sign of spiritual and emotional strength \u00ad It is the hallmark of a healthy and balanced personality.<\/span><\/p>\n In Matthew 5: 23-24<\/span>, Matth\u00e4us 5: 23-24,<\/span><\/strong> Jesus says,<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cTHEREFORE IF YOU BRING YOUR GIFTS TO THE ALTER, AND THERE YOU REMEMBER THAT YOUR BROTHER HAS SOMETHING AGAINST YOU, LEAVE YOUR GIFT THERE BEFORE THE ALTER, AND GO ON YOUR WAY. FIRST BE RECONCILED TO YOUR BROTHER, AND THEN COME AND OFFER YOUR GIFT.\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n 23 \u201eWenn du deine Opfergabe zum Altar bringst und dir dabei einf\u00e4llt, dass dein Bruder etwas gegen dich hat,<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n 24 so lass deine Gabe dort vor dem Altar liegen; geh und vers\u00f6hne dich zuerst mit deinem Bruder, dann komm und opfere deine Gabe.\u201c<\/strong><\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n Please re-read this quotation again and try to go into the depth of Jesus teaching. I have been a catholic all my life. I have heard this teaching many times but it am only when I pondered intensely I found how extra ordinary Jesus teaching was. If your brother has something, against you leave your gift at the altar. It is not only our responsibility to forgive and forget, it is also our duty towards the others and towards God to admit our faults and ask the others pardon. At the early part of the Holy mass we say the, \u201cI confess, To Almighty God and to you my brothers and sisters that I have sinned. . . and ask pardon. . . \u201d This is vital but since we know the prayer by heart we may tend to mumble it mechanically, without giving any thought to the deep meaning.<\/span><\/p>\n Some will come by the idea that the partner should forgive us regardless of whether we apologize or not. Yes he \/ she should. But every person must answer for his \/ her own sins, faults, omissions. God will demand the same procedure from the partner. God certainly does not expect that we present Him with an account of our partner\u2019s sins.<\/span><\/p>\n Others may ask, but who started it? Who should take the first step?\u201d Both questions are irrelevant. Both questions arise out of egoism. Self should take the first step. Then we should leave it to God, to use our selflessness to bring healing to the marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n If you both work hard enough to repair your marital relationship, you will eventually repair it. It is however equally important to understand some of the typical factors that make relapse possible.<\/span><\/p>\n\n