<\/p>\n
BUILD UP<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Translated by:\u00a0\u00a0HAI DUC TRAN<\/strong><\/p>\n N\u1ebfu ch\u00fang ta mong mu\u1ed1n c\u00f3 m\u1ed9t \u0111\u1eddi s\u1ed1ng h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n h\u1ea1nh ph\u00fac v\u00e0 th\u00e0nh c\u00f4ng, ch\u00fang ta c\u1ea7n r\u00f5 r\u00e0ng m\u1ed9t y\u1ebfu t\u1ed1 quan tr\u1ecdng nh\u1ea5t ch\u00ednh l\u00e0 t\u00ecnh y\u00eau. Nhi\u1ec1u ng\u01b0\u1eddi h\u01b0\u1edbng v\u00e0o c\u00e1i Eros, m\u1ed9t c\u1ea3m gi\u00e1c c\u1ee7a t\u00ecnh y\u00eau c\u00f3\u00a0 g\u1ed1c g\u00e1c t\u1eeb th\u00e2n x\u00e1c, hay t\u1eeb Philia c\u00f3 c\u1ea3m x\u00fac c\u1ee7a t\u00ecnh b\u1ea1n v\u00e0 b\u1eb1ng h\u1eefu. Nh\u1eefng t\u00ecnh c\u1ea3m n\u00e0y \u0111\u00f4i khi duy tr\u00ec \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c cu\u1ed9c h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n, n\u00f3 mang l\u1ea1i m\u1ed9t m\u1ee9c \u0111\u1ed9 h\u1ea1nh ph\u00fac nh\u1ea5t \u0111\u1ecbnh n\u00e0o \u0111\u00f3. Nh\u01b0ng mu\u1ed1n c\u00f3 h\u1ea1nh ph\u00fac l\u00e2u b\u1ec1n v\u00e0 v\u0129nh c\u1eedu th\u00ec ph\u1ea3i ti\u1ebfn t\u1edbi t\u00ecnh y\u00eau Agape. T\u00ecnh y\u00eau n\u00e0y gi\u1ed1ng nh\u01b0 t\u00ecnh y\u00eau c\u1ee7a Ch\u00faa. Agape(T\u00ecnh y\u00eau v\u00f4 bi\u00ean) kh\u00f4ng t\u00ecm ki\u1ebfm nh\u1eefng g\u00ec c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 t\u00ecm m\u00e0 l\u00e0 cho \u0111i v\u1edbi ni\u1ec1m y\u00eau th\u00edch. Ch\u00ednh l\u00e0 t\u00ecnh y\u00eau cho \u0111i m\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng c\u00f3 \u0111\u00e1p l\u1ea1i.<\/p>\n Khi ch\u00fang ta ch\u1ea5p nh\u1eadn Ch\u00faa Th\u00e1nh Th\u1ea7n qu\u1ea3n l\u00fd cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1eddi, ch\u00fang ta c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 th\u1ec3 hi\u1ec7n \u0111\u1ef1\u01a1c t\u00ecnh y\u00eau Agape do Ch\u00faa Th\u00e1h Th\u1ea7n th\u1ef1c hi\u1ec7n! T\u00ecnh \u00e1i v\u00e0 Philia s\u1ebd v\u1eabn hi\u1ec7n di\u1ec7n trong h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n.Nh\u01b0ng Ch\u00faa s\u1ebd th\u00e1nh ho\u00e1 t\u00ecnh \u00e1i v\u00e0 Philia \u0111\u1ec3 ch\u00fang tr\u1edf n\u00ean c\u00f3 \u00fd ngh\u0129a h\u01a1n. Cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1eddi s\u1ebd \u0111\u1eb9p \u0111\u1ebd, c\u00e2n b\u1eb1ng v\u00e0 ni\u1ec1m h\u1ea1nh ph\u00fac Ch\u00faa s\u1ebd ng\u1ef1 tr\u1ecb trong h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n.\u00a0\u00a0 Trong th\u01b0 g\u1eedi\u00a0C\u00f4rint\u00f4 13<\/strong><\/span>\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0<\/strong>Corinthians 13<\/strong>,\u00a0<\/strong><\/span>Th\u00e1nh Phaol\u00f4 n\u00f3i r\u1ea5t nhi\u1ec1u v\u1ec1 t\u00ecnh y\u00eau<\/p>\n T\u00ecnh y\u00eau d\u1ea7n ti\u1ebfn \u0111\u1ebfn t\u1ee9c gi\u1eadn, l\u0103ng m\u1ea1, o\u00e1n h\u1eadn. Agape s\u1ebd gi\u00fap ch\u00fang ta ki\u00ean nh\u1eabn ngay c\u1ea3 khi b\u1ecb \u0111\u1ed1i x\u1eed \u0111ay nghi\u1ebfn, b\u1ea5t c\u00f4ng v\u00e0 ch\u1ec9 tr\u00edch. D\u1ea7n d\u1ea7n \u0111\u00f2i quy\u1ec1n \u0111\u00fang v\u1edbi v\u1ecb tr\u00ed c\u1ee7a n\u00f3 hay t\u1ef1 ph\u00f2ng th\u1ee7 hay \u0103n mi\u1ebfng tr\u1ea3 mi\u1ebfng. Nh\u1eefng t\u00ednh c\u00e1ch n\u00e0y th\u1eadt kh\u00f3 kh\u0103n.<\/p>\n L\u00e0 kh\u00eda c\u1ea1nh t\u00edch c\u1ef1c. L\u00f2ng t\u1ed1t b\u1ea3o v\u1ec7 m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 khi b\u1ecb t\u1ea5n c\u00f4ng. L\u00f2ng t\u1ed1t n\u00e0y s\u1ebd gi\u00fap t\u00ecm ra nh\u1eefng ph\u01b0\u01a1ng k\u1ebf x\u00e2y d\u1ef1ng v\u00e0 l\u00e0m t\u1ed1t \u0111\u1eb9p ngay c\u1ea3 khi b\u1ecb x\u00fac ph\u1ea1m.<\/p>\n T\u00ecnh y\u00eau kh\u00f4ng l\u00e0 th\u00e8m mu\u1ed1n, \u0111\u00f3 k\u1ef5. T\u00ecnh y\u00eau kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0 x\u00fac ph\u1ea1m khi \u0111\u01b0a \u0111\u1ebfn chuy\u1ec7n kh\u00f4ng \u0111\u00e2u.<\/p>\n T\u00ecnh y\u00eau nh\u00e3 nh\u1eb7n<\/p>\n T\u00ecnh y\u00eau kh\u00f4ng \u00edch k\u1ef7.<\/p>\n T\u00ecnh y\u00eau d\u1ea7n b\u1ecb ch\u1ecdc t\u1ee9c(K\u1ebb d\u1ec5 b\u1ecb x\u00fac ph\u1ea1m th\u01b0\u1eddng l\u00e0m cho b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi t\u1ed3i t\u1ec7!)<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/strong>T\u00ecnh y\u00eau kh\u00f4ng mang theo s\u1ef1 \u0111\u1ed1 k\u1ef5 hay li\u1ec7t k\u00ea ra h\u00e0ng lo\u1ea1t nh\u1eefng sai l\u1ea7m hay l\u1eddi than phi\u1ec1n.<\/p>\n B\u1ea1n nh\u00ecn l\u1ea1i cu\u1ed9c s\u1ed1ng h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n\u00a0 \u0111\u1ec3 th\u1ea5y \u2018c\u00e1i g\u00ec\u2019 v\u00e0 \u2018th\u01b0\u1eddng xuy\u00ean th\u1ebf n\u00e0o\u2019 b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi \u0111\u00e3 l\u00e0m cho m\u00ecnh sai l\u1ea7m. T\u1ea5t c\u1ea3 ch\u00fang ta \u0111\u1ec1u c\u00f3 khuynh h\u01b0\u1edbng l\u00e0m vi\u1ec7c n\u00e0y, \u0111\u1eb7c bi\u1ec7t khi ch\u00fang ta x\u00e2y d\u1ef1ng m\u1ed9t d\u1ee5ng c\u1ee5 c\u00e3i v\u00e3. Th\u1ef1c t\u1ebf n\u00e0y tr\u1edf n\u00ean m\u1ed9t th\u00f3i quen v\u00e0 lan r\u1ed9ng. S\u1ef1 ph\u00e2n b\u1ed1 n\u00e0y nh\u01b0 n\u1ea1n d\u1ecbch. N\u00f3 t\u00e0n ph\u00e1 c\u1ea3 hai ng\u01b0\u1eddi. \u2018Nguy\u00ean c\u00e1o\u2019 s\u1ebd lu\u00f4n xo\u00e1y s\u00e2u h\u01a1n v\u00e0o t\u1ef1 than v\u00e0 nh\u1eadn \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c k\u1ebft qu\u1ea3 cu\u1ed1i c\u00f9ng l\u00e0 c\u00f3 m\u1ed9t quan \u0111i\u1ec3m \u201cT\u00f4i kh\u1ed3ng th\u1ec3 quan t\u00e2m\u201d.Trong ti\u1ebfn tr\u00ecnh n\u00e0y , c\u1ea3 hai ph\u1ea3i m\u1ea5t kh\u00e1 nhi\u1ec1u v\u1ec1 nh\u1eefng c\u1ed1 ng\u1eafng, \u0111au bu\u1ed3n, bu\u1ed3n ch\u00e1n, th\u1ea5t v\u1ecdng v\u00e0 th\u1eddi gian. Khi con ng\u01b0\u1eddi b\u1eaft \u0111\u1ea7u chuy\u1ec3n t\u1eeb c\u00e1ch s\u1ed1ng \u0111\u00e0ng ho\u00e0ng th\u00e0nh sa \u0111o\u1ea1, k\u1ebf qu\u1ea3 l\u00e0m ph\u00e1 hu\u1ef7 b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n, con c\u00e1i, nh\u00e0 c\u1eeda, gia \u0111\u00ecnh, s\u1ef1 nghi\u1ec7p v\u00e0 nhi\u1ec1u th\u1ee9 kh\u00e1c.Ch\u1eafc ch\u1eafn h\u1ecd ra kh\u1ecfi nh\u00e0 \u0111i \u0111\u1ebfn m\u1ed9t khung tr\u1eddi c\u00e1m d\u1ed7 r\u1ed9ng m\u1edf. H\u00e0ng lo\u1ea1t n\u1ea1n nh\u00e2n c\u1ee7a h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n tan v\u1ee1 v\u00e0 m\u1ea5t \u0111\u1ecbnh h\u01b0\u1edbng, li\u1ec1u m\u1ea1ng nh\u01b0 con \u0111\u1ec9a ti\u1ebfn v\u1ec1 m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 th\u1ed1i n\u00e1t. H\u1ecd l\u00e0m cho nhau y\u1ebfu d\u1ea7n \u0111i. Cu\u1ed1i c\u00f9ng, kh\u00f4ng k\u1ebb n\u00e0o chi\u1ebfn th\u1eafng, c\u00f2n t\u1ec7 h\u01a1n khi hai ng\u01b0\u1eddi c\u00f2n b\u00ean nhau.<\/p>\n M\u1ed9t trong nh\u1eefng c\u00e1ch t\u1ed1t nh\u1ea5t \u0111\u1ec3 ph\u00e1 v\u1ee1 th\u00f3i quen n\u00e0y, c\u1ea7n li\u1ec7t k\u00ea ra nh\u1eefng \u0111i\u1ec3m t\u1ed1t c\u00f9a b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi. H\u00e3y nh\u00ecn v\u00e0o danh m\u1ee5c \u0111\u00f3 m\u1ed7i khi s\u1eafp x\u1ea3y ra c\u00e3i c\u1ecd. \u00cdt ra c\u0169ng m\u01b0\u1eddng t\u01b0\u1ee3ng trong \u0111\u1ea7u nh\u1eefng \u0111i\u1ec3m t\u1ed1t c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi. Vi\u1ec7c n\u00e0y s\u1ebd gi\u00fap \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c nhi\u1ec1u \u0111i\u1ec1u.<\/p>\n Quan tr\u1ecdng nh\u1ea5t , b\u1ea3ng li\u1ec7t k\u00ea n\u00e0y gi\u00fap c\u00f3 c\u00e1i nh\u00ecn t\u00edch c\u1ef1c v\u1ec1 b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi, l\u00e0m thay \u0111\u1ed5i c\u00e1ch ngh\u0129 c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi v\u00e0 x\u00e2y d\u1ef1ng m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 th\u00e2n thi\u1ec7n. C\u1ea7n ph\u1ea3i l\u01b0u gi\u1eef trong t\u00e2m\u00a0 tr\u00ed r\u1eb1ng \u0111\u00f3 l\u00e0 b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh, kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i k\u1ebb th\u00f9!<\/p>\n Kh\u00f4ng duy tr\u00ec l\u1eadp tr\u01b0\u1eddng \u201cB\u1ea1n c\u00f3 c\u00e1i m\u00e0 b\u1ea1n x\u1ee9ng \u0111\u00e1ng!\u201d Hay \u201c Th\u1ea5y \u0111\u00f3, ngay c\u1ea3 b\u1ea1n c\u0169ng kh\u00f4ng c\u00f3 c\u00e1i ho\u00e0n h\u1ea3o \u0111\u00f3!\u201d<\/p>\n T\u00ecnh yeu bao dung m\u1ecdi l\u1ed7i l\u1ea7m v\u00e0 thi\u1ebfu s\u00f3t, b\u1ecf qua nh\u1eefng l\u0103ng m\u1ea1, x\u00fac ph\u1ea1m, ch\u1ec3nh m\u1ea3ng. Gi\u1eef b\u00ed m\u1eadt v\u00e0 k\u00edn \u0111\u00e1o.<\/p>\n Kh\u00f4ng c\u00f3 ngh\u0129a t\u00ecnh y\u00eau l\u00e0 kh\u1edd d\u1ea1i nh\u01b0ng h\u01a1n th\u1ebf, n\u00f3 \u0111\u1ee9ng tr\u00ean c\u1ea3 s\u1ef1 h\u1ed3 nghi, nghi ng\u1edd v\u00e0 ng\u1edd v\u1ef1c. T\u00ecnh y\u00eau ch\u00e2n th\u1ef1c lo\u1ea1i tr\u1eeb\u00a0 c\u00e1i g\u1ecdi l\u00e0 c\u1ea5p \u0111\u1ed9 3 nh\u01b0 \u201cEm \u0111\u00e3 \u1edf \u0111\u00e2u?\u201d hay \u201cAi \u0111\u00e3 \u1edf \u0111\u00f3 v\u1edbi em?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cEm \u0111\u00e3 l\u00e0m g\u00ec \u1edf \u0111\u00f3?\u201d \u201cT\u1ea1i sao em kh\u00f4ng \u0111\u1ebfn \u0111\u00e2y s\u1edbm h\u01a1n?\u201d<\/p>\n T\u00ecnh y\u00eau kh\u00f4ng t\u1ea1o ra r\u1eafc r\u1ed1i trong tr\u00ed t\u01b0\u1edfng t\u01b0\u1ee3ng. T\u00ecnh y\u00eau kh\u00f4ng m\u1ea5t hy v\u1ecdng, t\u00ecnh y\u00eau kh\u00f4ng nghi ng\u1edd, t\u00ecnh y\u00eau x\u00fac ti\u1ebfn.<\/p>\n T\u00ecnh y\u00eau c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 c\u1ee9u v\u00e3n l\u1eddi l\u0103ng m\u1ea1 v\u00e0 nh\u1eefng cu\u1ed9c t\u1ea5n c\u00f4ng. T\u00ecnh y\u00eau v\u01b0\u1ee3t qua m\u1ecdi b\u00e3o t\u1ed1.T\u00ecnh y\u00eau c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 vui v\u1ebb ch\u1ea5p nh\u1eadn t\u1ea5t c\u1ea3 nh\u1eefng c\u01a1n b\u00e3o b\u1ee9c h\u1ea1i\u00a0 \u0111au kh\u1ed5 v\u00e0 th\u0103ng tr\u1ea7m c\u1ee7a cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1eddi.<\/p>\n T\u00ecnh y\u00eau kh\u00f4ng tan th\u00e0nh m\u00e2y kh\u00f3i.<\/p>\n Trong th\u01b0 g\u1eedi t\u00edn h\u1eefu\u00a0C\u00f4rint\u00f4 13:13<\/strong><\/span>Th\u00e1nh Phaol\u00f4 vi\u1ebft v\u1ec1 ba \u0111\u1ee9c h\u1ea1nh v\u0129 \u0111\u1ea1i Kit\u00f4 l\u00e0 \u0110\u1ee9c tin, \u0110\u1ee9c c\u1eady, \u0110\u1ee9c m\u1ebfn \u0111o\u1ea1n vi\u1ebft:<\/p>\n \u201cHi\u1ec7n nay \u0110\u1ee9c tin, \u0110\u1ee9c c\u1eady, \u0110\u1ee9c m\u1ebfn c\u1ea3 ba \u0111\u1ec1u t\u1ed3n t\u1ea1i, nh\u01b0ng cao tr\u1ecdng h\u01a1n c\u1ea3 l\u00e0 \u0110\u1ee9c m\u1ebfn\u201d.\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cAND NOW ABIDE FAITH, HOPE, LOVE THESE THREE BUT THE GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE.\u201d<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n ==============================<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n 12. \u00a0 BIBLE and LOVE<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n If we want to have a happy and successful marriage, we must be clear that the most important element is LOVE. Many people orient themselves on the Eros, a feeling of love that stems from the body, or on the Philia, which is a feeling companionship and friendship. These sentiments can hold a marriage for sometime, it can even bring about a certain degree of happiness, but if a couple wants a rich and lasting marital happiness, it will need an Agape Love. It will need a love similar to the one God has. The Agape does not seek what it can get; on the contrary, it derives pleasure from giving. It is a love that keeps on giving, in spite of nothing coming back in return.<\/span><\/p>\n When we allow the Holy Spirit to take control of our lives He enables Agape love to be expressed through us! The Eros and Philia will nevertheless still be present in our marriage, but God will sanctify the Eros and Philia so that they become meaningful. Life will become beautiful, balanced and a godly happiness will reign in the marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n In 1 Corinthians 13<\/span>, 1 <\/span><\/strong>Korinther 13,<\/strong><\/span> \u00ad St. Paul has written a lot about love:<\/span><\/p>\n Love is slow to anger, insults and resentment. The Agape helps us to be patient even when treated unjustly nagged or criticized. It is slow to assert its position or to defend itself or give a tit for tat. All these characteristics are difficult.<\/span><\/p>\n this kindness that helps in finding constructive solutions and to do well in spite of being hurt.<\/span><\/p>\n Love is not covetous, envious. Love is not hurt when it draws the smaller straw.<\/span><\/p>\n Love is courteous.<\/span><\/p>\n Love is not selfish.<\/span><\/p>\n Love is slow to irritation. (Sensitive people make bad marriage partners!)<\/span><\/p>\n Love does not bear grudge or seeks to tabulate all the faults and grievances.<\/span><\/p>\n Have you looked back at your married life to see, \u2018What\u2019 and, \u2018How Often\u2019 the partner has done you wrong. We all have a tendency to do this, especially when we want to build up a battery of good arguments. This practice becomes a habit and it is very wide spread. The extent of distribution is like an epidemic. It is destructive for both persons. The \u2018accuser\u2019 will always spiral further into self-pity and the one at the receiving end will gradually be driven to the attitude of, \u201cI couldn’t care less.\u201d In this process both will expend vast amount of efforts, sorrow, sadness, frustration and time. The over all well being begins to backslide the result is destruction to themselves, their kids, their home, their family, their career and many more things, including lawyers bills and other expenses. Inevitably they leave the door to temptation wide open. There are any number of victims of broken marriages and other mis-orientations who are desperate to leech on to a decomposing relationship. They will weaken each other. In the end there are no winners, still worse both are the losers.<\/span><\/p>\n One of the best ways to break this habit is to write a list of all the good points found in the partner. Each time an eruption is in the offing to take a good look at the list. At least to run the points in front of the mind’s eye.<\/span><\/p>\n This helps in many ways.<\/span><\/p>\n – Through this attitude, you will have a better chance that the partner will hear your opinion and consider it. \u00ad What is the use of all the vociferous arguments, which will fall on deaf ears? Partner can and do has switch off. The partner switches off, not necessarily because the logics of the arguments are not good, but more often because of physical factors. For instance, the partner could switch off because of the tone in the voice, the look in the eyes, the gait. All these physical sign convey the message of previous hurt. Unconsciously the partner defensive mechanism switches to bluntness, coolness, callous, aggressiveness. No matter how good, well thought off or well intentioned the point is, the other person is not available because the defensives are up. Defenses do not negotiate, they protect. This is the reason why, it is so important never to inflict hurt to the other person.<\/span><\/p>\n Most important, this list can eventually help to create a positive outlook towards the partner. It will be that this out-look, will change the attitude of the partner and build down the hostilities. We must always keep in mind the fact that the other person is a partner not an enemy!<\/span><\/p>\n \u201eSie freut sich nicht \u00fcber das Unrecht. \/ sondern freut sich an der Wahrheit.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n It does not maintain the stand- point, \u201cNow you got what you deserve!\u201d Or, \u201cNow you see, even you are not all that perfect!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n
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