<\/p>\n
Translated by:\u00a0\u00a0HAI DUC TRAN<\/strong><\/p>\n C\u00e2u h\u1ecfi v\u1ec1 m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 th\u1eadt quan tr\u1ecdng b\u1edfi h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n l\u00e0 m\u1ed9t m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7. N\u1ebfu cu\u1ed9c h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n d\u1eabn \u0111\u1ebfn \u00f4i thiu l\u00e0 b\u1edfi nh\u1eefng v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 v\u1ec1 quan h\u1ec7. H\u1ea7u h\u1ebft ch\u00fang ta bi\u1ebft v\u1ec1 \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y, nh\u01b0ng kh\u00f4ng l\u00e0m g\u00ec \u0111\u1ec3 c\u1ed1 g\u1eafng v\u00e0 nh\u1eadn ra n\u00e9t kh\u00e1c bi\u1ec7t hay nh\u1eefng kh\u00e1c nhau trong m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7. Trong m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n c\u00f3 4 giai \u0111o\u1ea1n ch\u00ednh :<\/p>\n <\/p>\n N\u1ebfu cu\u1ed9c h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n \u0111\u1ee7 l\u00e2u d\u00e0i, th\u1ef1c t\u1ebf ph\u1ea3i tr\u1ea3i qua b\u1ed1n giai \u0111o\u1ea1n. Ch\u00fang ta h\u00e3y xem b\u1ed1n giai \u0111o\u1ea1n n\u00e0y nh\u00e9:<\/p>\n Giai \u0111o\u1ea1n gi\u1ea3 t\u1ea1o:<\/p>\n Giai \u0111o\u1ea1n gi\u1ea3 t\u1ea1o l\u00e0 giai \u0111o\u1ea1n m\u00e0 nh\u1eefng c\u00e1 nh\u00e2n ch\u1ec9 bi\u1ebft v\u00e0i \u0111i\u1ec1u g\u00ec \u0111\u00f3 b\u1ec1 ngo\u00e0i v\u1ec1 cu\u1ed9c s\u1ed1ng c\u1ee7a nhau, h\u1ecd kh\u00f4ng bi\u1ebft s\u00e2u v\u1ec1 c\u1ea3m t\u01b0\u1edfng v\u00e0 nh\u1eefng suy ngh\u0129 c\u1ee7a ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c. L\u00fac n\u00e0o c\u0169ng v\u1eady, h\u1ecd kh\u00f4ng bi\u1ebft nhi\u1ec1u v\u1ec1 qu\u00e1 kh\u1ee9 c\u1ee7a \u0111\u1ed1i t\u00e1c. \u0110\u00e2y l\u00e0 giai \u0111o\u1ea1n th\u00f4ng th\u01b0\u1eddng nh\u1ea5t khi \u0111\u00f4i b\u1ea1n \u0111ang trong th\u1eddi gian t\u00e1n t\u1ec9nh v\u00e0 tr\u01b0\u1edbc h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n.<\/p>\n GIAI \u0110O\u1ea0N H\u1ed6N LO\u1ea0N:<\/p>\n Giai \u0111o\u1ea1n n\u00e0y ph\u00e1t tri\u1ec3n sau khi s\u1ef1 hi\u1ec3u bi\u1ebft \u0111\u00e3 ph\u00e1t tri\u1ec3n \u0111\u1ea7y \u0111\u1ee7 gi\u1eefa hai ng\u01b0\u1eddi, \u0111\u00f3 l\u00e0:<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Giai \u0111o\u1ea1n gi\u1ea3 t\u1ea1o l\u00e0 nh\u1eefng g\u00ec th\u01b0\u1eddng th\u00fac \u0111\u1ea9y ng\u01b0\u1eddi ta l\u00e0m g\u00ec \u0111\u00f3. Ng\u01b0\u1eddi may m\u1eafn s\u1ebd t\u00ecm \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c b\u1ea1n t\u1ed1t, nh\u00e0 t\u01b0 v\u1ea5n t\u1ed1t h\u01a1n hay m\u1ed9t cu\u1ed1n s\u00e1ch t\u1ed1t m\u00e0 d\u1eabn \u0111\u01b0a h\u1ecd \u0111\u1ebfn v\u1edbi Ch\u00faa v\u00e0 sau \u0111\u00f3 l\u00e0 d\u1eabn t\u1edbi th\u00e0nh c\u00f4ng. Ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00f4ng may m\u1eafn h\u1ee9ng t\u1ea5t c\u1ea3 v\u00e0 th\u1ea5t b\u1ea1i, h\u1ecd c\u1eadp b\u1edd kh\u00f4ng h\u1ea1nh ph\u00fac hay ly th\u00e2n hay ly d\u1ecb.<\/p>\n GIAI \u0110O\u1ea0N KHOAN DUNG:<\/p>\n L\u00e0 giai \u0111o\u1ea1n k\u1ebf ti\u1ebfp, m\u1eb7c d\u00f9 h\u1ea7u h\u1ebft m\u1ecdi ng\u01b0\u1eddi t\u01b0\u1edfng t\u01b0\u1ee3ng n\u00f3 l\u00e0 tr\u01b0\u1edbc giai \u0111o\u1ea1n h\u1ed7n lo\u1ea1n. Nh\u01b0ng khoan dung th\u1eadt s\u1ef1 l\u1ea1i \u0111\u1ebfn sau nh\u1eefng s\u1ef1 vi\u1ec7c th\u1ef1c s\u1ef1 \u0111\u00e3 bi\u1ebft v\u1ec1 s\u1ef1 th\u1eadt. Giai \u0111o\u1ea1n khoan dung kh\u00f4ng c\u00f3 \u00fd ngh\u0129a l\u00e0 nghi\u1ebfn r\u0103ng v\u00e0 c\u1ed1 ch\u1ecbu \u0111\u1ef1ng nh\u1eefng kh\u00e1c bi\u1ec7t nh\u01b0ng \u0111\u00fang h\u01a1n l\u00e0 c\u00f3 m\u1ed9t quy\u1ebft \u0111\u1ecbnh v\u00e0 m\u1ed9t quan \u0111i\u1ec3m \u0111\u1ec3 s\u1ed1ng v\u00e0 h\u00e3y s\u1ed1ng.<\/p>\n GIAI \u0110O\u1ea0N \u0110\u1ed2NG C\u1ea2M:<\/p>\n Giai \u0111o\u1ea1n k\u1ebf ti\u1ebfp l\u00e0 nh\u1eefng kh\u00e1c bi\u1ec7t c\u00e1 nh\u00e2n \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c t\u00e1n d\u01b0\u01a1ng. Trong giai \u0111o\u1ea1n n\u00e0y di\u1ec7n m\u1ea1o \u0111\u1ea7y \u0111\u1ee7 b\u1ec1 ngo\u00e0i t\u00f4n tr\u1ecdng th\u1ef1c s\u1ef1, y\u00eau th\u01b0\u01a1ng, ch\u1ea5p nh\u1eadn m\u1ed1i quan t\u00e2m, v\u00e0 s\u1ef1 \u0111\u00e1nh gi\u00e1 cao \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c b\u1ed9c l\u1ed9 d\u1ef1a tr\u00ean s\u1ef1 hi\u1ec3u bi\u1ebft v\u00e0 th\u00f4ng c\u1ea3m.<\/p>\n Hai giai \u0111o\u1ea1n \u0111\u1ea7u\u00a0 ho\u00e0n to\u00e0n r\u00f5 r\u00e0ng v\u00e0 vi\u1ec7c gi\u1ea3i th\u00edch trong nh\u1eefng ch\u01b0\u01a1ng ti\u1ebfp theo s\u1ebd l\u00e0m s\u00e1ng t\u1ecf hai \u0111i\u1ec3m n\u00e0y.<\/p>\n Giai \u0111o\u1ea1n khoan dung v\u00e0 \u0111\u1ed3ng c\u1ea3m c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 l\u00e0 \u0111i\u1ec3m t\u1ed1t nh\u1ea5t \u0111\u1ec3 ph\u00e2n bi\u1ec7t b\u1eb1ng nh\u1eefng \u00fd ngh\u0129a c\u1ee7a l\u1eddi gi\u1ea3i th\u00edch.<\/p>\n Giai \u0111o\u1ea1n khoan dung c\u00f3 m\u1ed9t quan \u0111i\u1ec3m l\u00e0 \u2018s\u1ed1ng v\u00e0 h\u00e3y s\u1ed1ng\u2019. V\u00ed d\u1ee5 m\u1ed9t ng\u01b0\u1eddi v\u1ee3 c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 n\u00f3i: \u201cAnh \u1ea5y th\u00edch caf\u00e9 nh\u01b0ng t\u00f4i l\u1ea1i th\u00edch ch\u00e8, do \u0111\u00f3 t\u00f4i pha l\u1ea7n caf\u00e9 v\u00e0 ch\u00e8 v\u00e0o nhau \u0111\u1ec3 c\u1ea3 hai ch\u00fang t\u00f4i \u0111\u1ec1u vui v\u1ebb.\u201d N\u00f3i chung c\u1ea3 hai h\u1ecd \u0111\u1ec1u h\u1ea1nh ph\u00fac, nh\u01b0ng l\u1ea1i t\u1ed3n t\u1ea1i m\u1ed9t th\u1ef1c t\u1ebf l\u00e0 anh ta th\u00edch caf\u00e9 c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh, v\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng b\u1eadn t\u00e2m t\u1edbi vi\u1ec7c v\u1ee3 anh ta u\u1ed1ng ch\u00e8. Ng\u01b0\u1eddi v\u1ee3 chia s\u1ebd quan \u0111i\u1ec3m v\u1edbi ch\u1ed3ng, \u0111\u1ea9y quan \u0111i\u1ec3m n\u00e0y xa h\u01a1n m\u1ed9t ch\u00fat, c\u00f3 th\u1ec3\u00a0 th\u1ebf n\u00e0y: b\u1ea5t k\u00ec khi n\u00e0o c\u00f3 tr\u1eadn bong \u0111\u00e1. \u0110\u1ed3ng \u00fd cho ch\u1ed3ng m\u00ecnh c\u00f3 v\u00e0i ng\u01b0\u1eddi t\u1edbi c\u00f9ng xem b\u00f3ng \u0111\u00e1. Sau tr\u1eadn \u0111\u1ea5u, ch\u1eafc s\u1ebd ph\u1ea3i thu d\u1ecdn nh\u00e0 c\u1eeda v\u00e0 \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3 s\u1ebd \u2026 (t\u1ea1m d\u1eebng)\u2026 r\u1ed1t cu\u1ed9c th\u00ec c\u00f4 \u1ea5y s\u1ebd l\u00e0m c\u00f4ng vi\u1ec7c thu d\u1ecdn, b\u1edfi anh ta qu\u00e1 x\u1ea5u h\u1ed5 khi ph\u1ea3i qu\u1ea9n quanh trong nh\u00e0. Tuy th\u1ebf m\u00e0, c\u00f4 v\u1ee3 ngh\u0129 ch\u1ed3ng m\u00ecnh s\u1ebd vui v\u1ebb. M\u1ed9t b\u00e0 v\u1ee3 tinh \u00fd th\u00ec s\u1ebd l\u1ee3i d\u1ee5ng c\u01a1 h\u1ed9i n\u00e0y \u0111\u1ec3 m\u1eddi nh\u1eefng b\u00e0 v\u1ee3 c\u1ee7a nh\u1eefng v\u1ecb kh\u00e1ch kia t\u1edbi nh\u00e0 v\u00e0 c\u00f9ng vui, c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 l\u00e0 th\u1eed m\u1ed9t c\u00f4ng th\u1ee9c m\u1edbi g\u00ec \u0111\u00f3 trong b\u1ebfp. Ngay cho l\u00e0 c\u00f4 c\u00f3 \u0111\u1ee7 b\u1ea3n t\u00ednh \u0111\u1ea3m \u0111ang \u0111\u1ec3 t\u1ea1o cho m\u00ecnh c\u00f3 th\u1eddi gian vui v\u1ebb. L\u00f2ng t\u1ed1t c\u1ee7a c\u00f4 th\u1ef1c t\u1ebf l\u00e0 c\u00f4\u00a0 vui v\u1ebb khi ch\u1ed3ng c\u00f4 v\u00e0 b\u1ea1n b\u00e8 \u0111\u1ec1u vui v\u1ebb. N\u00f3i c\u00e1ch kh\u00e1c, anh\u00a0 kh\u00f4ng quan t\u00e2m g\u00ec \u0111\u1ebfn th\u1ee9c \u0103n ra l\u00e0m sao hay ai n\u1ea5u, mi\u1ec5n l\u00e0 h\u1ecd \u0111\u00e3 n\u1ea5u c\u00e1i g\u00ec \u0111\u00f3 ngon ngon cho nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi b\u1ea1n c\u1ee7a ch\u1ed3ng m\u00ecnh \u0103n. T\u1eeb n\u01a1i th\u1ea7m k\u00edn, ni\u1ec1m h\u1ea1nh ph\u00fac c\u1ee7a anh th\u1ea5y bi\u1ebft \u01a1n v\u00e0 anh c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 ng\u1ea9ng cao \u0111\u1ea7u v\u00e0 c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y m\u00ecnh c\u00f3 m\u1ed9t ng\u01b0\u1eddi v\u1ee3 \u0111\u1ea3m \u0111ang v\u00e0 hi\u1ec3u bi\u1ebft. Anh c\u0169ng c\u00f3 \u2018Ai \u0111\u00f3\u2019 c\u00f3 chung c\u1ea3m gi\u00e1 t\u1ef1 h\u00e0o. T\u1eeb \u0111\u00f3 cho th\u1ea5y, kh\u00f4ng h\u1ec1 g\u00ec khi c\u00f4 c\u00f3 bi\u1ebft v\u1ec1 lu\u1eadt c\u1ee7a tr\u00f2 ch\u01a1i hay \u0111i\u1ec3m s\u1ed1.<\/p>\n Giai \u0111o\u1ea1n \u0111\u1ed3ng c\u1ea3m c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 leo thang xa h\u01a1n, n\u00f3 c\u00f3 v\u1ebb th\u1ebf n\u00e0y: \u201cCh\u1ed3ng t\u00f4i ch\u1ec9 th\u00edch caf\u00e9 b\u1ea5t k\u00ec khi n\u00e0o t\u00f4i gh\u00e9 qua hi\u1ec7u caf\u00e9 m\u1edbi, mua cho anh \u1ea5y. T\u1ef1 t\u00f4i th\u1ea5y m\u00ecnh kh\u00f4ng th\u00edch caf\u00e9 nh\u01b0ng t\u00f4i ch\u1ec9 bi\u1ebft anh \u1ea5y th\u00edch caf\u00e9 \u0111\u1ebfn nh\u01b0\u1eddng n\u00e0o th\u00f4i. N\u00f3 l\u00e0m cho t\u00f4i rung m\u00ecnh.\u201d M\u1ed9t c\u1ea3m gi\u00e1c c\u00f2n cao h\u01a1n, n\u00f3 l\u00e0: \u201cT\u00f4i kh\u00f4ng hi\u1ec3u v\u1ec1 b\u00f3ng \u0111\u00e1 nh\u01b0ng t\u00f4i mua cho anh \u1ea5y m\u1ed9t t\u1ea1p ch\u00ed th\u1ec3 thao \u01b0a th\u00edch c\u1ee7a anh \u1ea5y.\u201d hay \u201ct\u00f4i kh\u00f4ng quan t\u00e2m t\u1edbi \u201cnh\u1eefng b\u1ed9 phim- c\u00f4 g\u00e1i nh\u1ecf\u2019 nh\u01b0ng t\u00f4i l\u1ea5y v\u00e0i cu\u1ed1n b\u0103ng khi t\u00f4i \u0111i qua hi\u1ec7u cho thu\u00ea b\u0103ng h\u00ecnh b\u1edfi t\u00f4i bi\u1ebft n\u00f3 s\u1ebd l\u00e0m v\u1ee3 t\u00f4i vui v\u1ebb.\u201d \u2013 Giai \u0111o\u1ea1n cao tr\u00e0o nh\u1ea5t c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 l\u00e0 t\u1eb7ng cho m\u1eb9 v\u1ee3 m\u1ed9t t\u1ea5m v\u00e9 \u0111\u1ec3 th\u0103m h\u1ecd v\u00e0 c\u00f9ng c\u00f3 ng\u00e0y ngh\u1ec9 cu\u1ed1i tu\u1ea7n.<\/p>\n S\u1ef1 th\u1eafng l\u1ee3i l\u1edbn l\u00e0m cho b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi c\u00f3 c\u1ea3m gi\u00e1c run s\u1ee3 cao.<\/p>\n Bi\u1ec3u hi\u1ec7n th\u00f4ng th\u01b0\u1eddng c\u1ee7a giai \u0111o\u1ea1n \u0111\u1ed3ng c\u1ea3m c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 l\u00e0, khi ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u0111\u00e0n \u00f4ng c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 th\u1ec3 hi\u1ec7n l\u00f2ng ki\u00ean nh\u1eabn khi anh ta \u0111\u01b0a v\u1ee3 \u0111i mua b\u1ed9 v\u00e1y. T\u00f4i t\u1ed1t h\u01a1n l\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng \u0111i v\u00e0o chi ti\u1ebft \u0111i\u1ec3m n\u00e0y b\u1edfi c\u1ea3 \u0111\u00e0n \u00f4ng v\u00e0 ph\u1ee5 n\u1eef \u0111\u1ec1u bi\u1ebft t\u00f4i \u0111\u1ecbnh n\u00f3i g\u00ec r\u1ed3i. B\u1ea5t ch\u1ea5p tu\u1ed5i t\u00e1c, s\u1ef1 ph\u00e1t tri\u1ec3n b\u1eaft \u0111\u1ea7u s\u1edbm. Nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u0111\u00e0n \u00f4ng, b\u1ea1n \u0111\u00e3 t\u1eebng \u0111\u01b0a c\u00f4 con g\u00e1i 5 tu\u1ed5i \u0111\u1ec3 cho n\u00f3 t\u1ef1 mua \u0111\u00f4i gi\u00e0y ch\u01b0a? L\u00e0 s\u1ef1 th\u1eed th\u00e1ch t\u01b0\u01a1ng t\u1ef1 nh\u01b0 b\u1ea1n \u0111\u01b0a m\u1eb9 c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n \u0111i mua nh\u1eefng th\u1ee9 g\u00ec \u0111\u00f3. Nh\u1eefng v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 nh\u01b0 s\u1ef1 th\u1eed th\u00e1ch c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 l\u00e0 d\u1ea5u hi\u1ec7u ch\u1ec9 ra ng\u01b0\u1eddi ta g\u1ea7n g\u0169i nhau t\u1edbi m\u1ee9c n\u00e0o \u1edf giai \u0111o\u1ea1n \u0111\u1ed3ng c\u1ea3m.<\/p>\n T\u1ea5t c\u1ea3 c\u00e1c cu\u1ed9c h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n s\u1ebd tr\u1ea3i qua b\u1ed1n giai \u0111o\u1ea1n: Ng\u01b0\u1eddi n\u00e0o kh\u00f4ng c\u00f3 s\u1ef1 hi\u1ec3u bi\u1ebft \u0111\u1ea7y \u0111\u1ee7 v\u1ec1 b\u1ed1n giai \u0111o\u1ea1n n\u00e0y th\u00ec kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng b\u1ecb b\u1ed1i r\u1ed1i khi h\u1ecd ph\u1ea3i tr\u1ea3i qua nh\u1eefng giai \u0111o\u1ea1n n\u00e0y, thi\u1ebfu ki\u1ebfn th\u1ee9c v\u1ec1 nh\u1eefng giai \u0111o\u1ea1n n\u00e0y l\u00e0 nguy\u00ean nh\u00e2n c\u1ee7a s\u1ef1 th\u1ea5t v\u1ecdng kh\u00f4ng c\u1ea7n thi\u1ebft v\u00e0 h\u1ea1nh ph\u00fac s\u1ebd l\u00e0 m\u1ed9t nhi\u1ec7m v\u1ee5 ch\u00e1n t\u1edbi t\u1eadn c\u1ed5.<\/p>\n Hi\u1ec3u \u0111\u00fang v\u1ec1 b\u1ed1n giai \u0111o\u1ea1n \u0111\u00e3 \u0111\u1ec1 c\u1eadp \u1edf tr\u00ean th\u1eadt quan tr\u1ecdng v\u00ec t\u1ea5t c\u1ea3 nh\u1eefng cu\u1ed9c h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n s\u1ebd ph\u1ea3i \u0111i qua kh\u00f4ng k\u1ec3 g\u00ec c\u1eb7p v\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng \u0111\u00f3 l\u00e0 ai.<\/p>\n C\u00f3 nhi\u1ec1u t\u00ecnh hu\u1ed1ng trong cu\u1ed9c s\u1ed1ng, n\u01a1i m\u00e0 m\u1ed9t v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 c\u1ea7n \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c ch\u1ebf ng\u1ef1, v\u01b0\u1ee3t qua v\u00e0 \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c c\u1ea3i thi\u1ec7n. Khi m\u1ed9t l\u1ea7n \u0111\u00e3 \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c gi\u1ea3i quy\u1ebft, th\u00ec v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 s\u1ebd kh\u00f4ng bao gi\u1edd s\u1ed1ng l\u1ea1i b\u00ecnh th\u01b0\u1eddng n\u1eefa. V\u00ed d\u1ee5 nh\u01b0 v\u01b0\u1ee3t qua cao h\u1ecdc. Tuy nhi\u00ean trong m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n vi\u1ec7c th\u0103m l\u1ea1i b\u1ed1n tr\u1ea1ng th\u00e1i giai \u0111o\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 xu\u1ea5t hi\u1ec7n tr\u1edf l\u1ea1i v\u00e0 s\u1ebd c\u1ea7n ph\u1ea3i chi\u1ebfn th\u1eafng l\u1ea1i, chinh ph\u1ee5c l\u1ea1i v\u00e0 c\u1ea3i thi\u1ec7n l\u1ea1i ho\u00e0n to\u00e0n. C\u00f3 nhi\u1ec1u t\u00ecnh hu\u1ed1ng m\u00e0 ch\u00fang c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 quay l\u1ea1i b\u1ed1n giai \u0111o\u1ea1n n\u00e0y, c\u00f3 v\u00e0i v\u00ed d\u1ee5 nh\u01b0: Cu\u1ed9c kh\u1ee7ng ho\u1ea3ng \u1edf trung ni\u00ean; m\u1ea5t vi\u1ec7c b\u1ea5t ng\u1edd v\u00e0 l\u00e2u d\u00e0i; ch\u1eefa tr\u1ecb k\u00e9o d\u00e0i; \u0111\u1ecbnh c\u01b0 \u1edf n\u01b0\u1edbc kh\u00e1c trong giai \u0111o\u1ea1n trung ni\u00ean v\u00e0 mu\u1ed9n h\u01a1n v\u1edbi c\u00e1c ho\u1ea1t \u0111\u1ed9ng c\u1ee7a \u0111\u1eddi s\u1ed1ng. Nh\u1eefng c\u00e1i ch\u1ebft v\u00e0 s\u1ef1 \u1ed1m y\u1ebfu kh\u00f4ng th\u1ec3 ch\u1eefa tr\u1ecb..v.v. Nguy\u00ean nh\u00e2n th\u00ec kh\u00f4ng gi\u1ed1ng nhau nh\u01b0 \u0111\u00f4i v\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng m\u1edbi, h\u1ecd kh\u00f4ng hi\u1ec3u nhi\u1ec1u v\u1ec1 nhau. N\u00f3 l\u00e0 nguy\u00ean nh\u00e2n \u0111\u00f4i v\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng ph\u1ea3i \u0111\u1ee5ng \u0111\u1ed9 v\u1edbi m\u1ecdi \u00e1p l\u1ef1c v\u00e0 c\u0103ng th\u1eb3ng mang l\u1ea1i do m\u1ed9t t\u00ecnh hu\u1ed1ng m\u1edbi. M\u1ee9c \u0111\u1ed9 n\u0103ng l\u1ef1c c\u00f3 th\u00eam c\u0169ng kh\u00f4ng h\u01a1n g\u00ec. V\u00ed d\u1ee5 v\u1ec1 c\u1eb7p v\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng gi\u00e0, h\u1ecd \u0111\u00e3 quen v\u1edbi nh\u1eefng c\u00e1ch m\u00e0 h\u1ecd \u0111\u00e3 l\u00e0m \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c. Kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng ph\u1ea3i nh\u1eadn nh\u1eefng r\u1ee7i ro, nh\u1eefng thay \u0111\u1ed5i c\u00fa s\u1ed1c c\u1ee7a cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1eddi c\u0169ng tr\u1edf n\u00ean k\u00e9m ki\u00ean c\u01b0\u1eddng.<\/p>\n Vi\u1ec7c \u2018t\u1ea1o ra nh\u1eefng tam gi\u00e1c\u2019 s\u1ebd l\u00e0m t\u0103ng nh\u1eefng c\u1ed1 g\u1eafng v\u1ec1 l\u00f2ng ghen t\u1ef5. Thi\u1ebfu nh\u1eefng y\u1ebfu t\u1ed1 c\u01a1 b\u1ea3n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 mang l\u1ea1i nh\u1eefng n\u1ed7 l\u1ef1c cho vi\u1ec7c gia t\u0103ng l\u00f2ng \u0111\u1ed1 k\u1ef5 h\u00ecnh th\u00e0nh nh\u1eefng tam gi\u00e1c, ghen t\u1ef5, \u0111\u1ed1 k\u1ef5 \u0111\u00e3 \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c gi\u1ea3i th\u00edch \u1edf ch\u01b0\u01a1ng 17, nh\u1eefng c\u1ea3m x\u00fac.<\/p>\n T\u1ea5t c\u1ea3 trong b\u1ed1n giai \u0111o\u1ea1n c\u1ee7a bu\u1ed5i h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n ban \u0111\u1ea7u l\u00e0 th\u1eddi gian h\u1ecdc vi\u1ec7c c\u1ea7n thi\u1ebft cho nh\u1eefng cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1ecd s\u1ee9c trong \u0111\u1eddi s\u1ed1ng h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n sau n\u00e0y, v\u00e0 cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1ecd s\u1ee9c n\u00e0y x\u1ea3y ra cho d\u00f9 b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u00edch hay kh\u00f4ng.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n ==============================\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n 5 \u00a0 \u00a0RELATIONSHIP<\/strong><\/p>\n The question of relationship is important because marriage is a relationship. If a marriage turns sour it is because of a relationship problem. Most of us know this, but what most of us do not do, is to try and see the various distinctions or differences in a relationship. In a marital relationship there are four major stages, they are:<\/p>\n If a marriage lasts long enough, it is a fact that all marriage will go through all 4 stages<\/strong>. Let us see what these stages are:<\/p>\n The Pseudo Stage is one where the partners only know something about the outward life of each other, \u00adthey do not know about the deep feelings and thinking of the other. Invariably they do not know much about the partner\u2019s past either. This is the most usual stage when the couple is courting or right early in marriage.<\/p>\n The Chaotic Stage develops after sufficient knowledge has developed between the partners, there are:<\/p>\n The chaotic stage is what usually drives people to do something. The lucky ones find a good friend, counselor or book that leads them to God and then on to success. The unlucky ones try all kinds of avenues and fail. They land up unhappy or separated or divorced.<\/p>\n The tolerating stage is the next stage, although most people imagine it is before the chaotic stage. Genuine tolerance comes after true knowledge of how things really are, the tolerance stage does not mean clenching ones teeth and trying to bear up the differences, but rather it is a decision and an attitude to, live and let live.<\/p>\n The next stage is where individual differences are celebrated. In this stage the full aspects of true respect, love, concern acceptance, adjustment, and appreciation come out, based on knowledge and understanding.<\/p>\n The first two stages are quite clear and the explanation that follows in subsequent chapters will throw light on these two points.<\/p>\n The stages of tolerating and communion can best be differentiated by means of an explanation.<\/p>\n The tolerating stage has a, \u2018live and let live\u2019, attitude. For example a wife may say, \u201cHe likes coffee but I like tea, so we make coffee and tea so that we are both happy.\u201d They are generally both happy, but the fact remains, he likes his coffee and doesn\u2019t care for tea. Maybe it will bother him, if he has to drink tea, yet he doesn\u2019t mind his wife drinking tea. The wife shares the same attitude towards her husband. Driving the point a little further may look like this: Whenever there is a football game, it is OK for her husband to bring the boys over to watch the game. After the game, there will be cleaning up to do, and that they will. . . (Pause)\u2026 she will eventually do the cleaning up, because he is too much of a confusion to have around the house. Nevertheless, she knows her husband will feel happy. A cleaver wife will use this opportunity to invite the boy\u2019s wives over and have a good time, maybe try out new recipes in the kitchen. Even though she is good natured enough to have a good time herself, her goodness lies in the fact that she is happy that her husband and his friends are having a good time. He on the other hand does not care how the food is made or for that matter who made it, as long as they make some thing good for the boys to eat. Secretly, his happiness comes from the gratitude that he can put his head up and feel he has a good and understanding wife. He has \u2018someone\u2019 to feel justly proud of. From there on, it really doesn\u2019t matter if she knows the rules of the game or the score.<\/p>\n The communion stage would escalate further. It would sound like this, \u201cMy husband just loves coffee. Whenever I come across a new brand of coffee, I buy it for him. I myself do not like coffee but just seeing how much he likes it. Gives me a thrill.\u201d In a more elevated sense, it could be, \u201cI don\u2019t understand the ball game but I bring him his favorite sports magazine.\u201d Or \u201cI don\u2019t care for \u2018Girlie-Movies\u2019 but I pick up some when I go to the Video rental because I know it will make my wife happy.\u201d \u2013 A much more elevated stage would be like giving her mother a ticket to visit them and have a holiday.<\/p>\n The successfulness is giving the spouse a high thrill.<\/p>\n A similar token, of communion stage would be, when a man can show patience when he takes his wife out to buy herself a dress. I better not go further into this point, because both the man as well as the woman knows what I am getting at. Regardless of age, the development starts early. Men, have you ever tried to take your 5-year-old daughter to buy a pair of shoes? It is similar ordeal as if you are taking your mother to buy some thing. Mastering such ordeals would be an indication of how close one is at the communication stage.<\/p>\n All marriage will go through these 4 stages; people who are unaware of these four stages are likely to be confused as they pass through these stages. Lack of knowledge on these stages causes unnecessary disappointment. And, happiness will be a tedious up hill task.<\/p>\n The proper understanding of the 4 stages mentioned above are very important because all marriages will go through them regardless of who the couples are.<\/p>\n There are many situations in life, where a problem needs to be conquered, overcome and improved upon. Once this is done, the problem will never arise again normally, for example Passing High school. In Marriage relations however, the re-visitation of the 4 stage pattern can re-appear and will need to be re-won, re-conquered and improved all over again. There are many situations that will bring these stages back, a few examples could be: Mid-Life crises; Unexpected and prolonged job loss, Prolonged health; Immigration to another country during the middle or later middle career life. Deaths or irreversible disability. Etc. The causes are not the same as a new couple, who do not know enough about each other. It is a case of a couple having to encounter a pressure and strain brought about by a new situation. In addition the capability levels are no longer that same. For example the couple is older, more used to ways they have always done things. The ability to take risks, changes and shocks of life has become less resilient.<\/p>\n The \u2018formation of triangles\u2019 will give rise to jealousy-induced struggles. The lack of certain factors can bring about envy- induced struggles. The formations of triangles, jealousy and envy have been explained in Chapter 17, EMOTIONS.<\/p>\n All in all the 4 stages of an early marriage is a necessary apprenticeship for later marriage life encounters. And, these encounters will happen whether we like it or not.<\/p>\n ==================<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" EXPLANATION Translated by:\u00a0\u00a0HAI DUC TRAN C\u00e2u h\u1ecfi v\u1ec1 m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 th\u1eadt quan tr\u1ecdng b\u1edfi h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n l\u00e0 m\u1ed9t m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7. N\u1ebfu cu\u1ed9c h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n d\u1eabn \u0111\u1ebfn \u00f4i thiu l\u00e0 b\u1edfi nh\u1eefng v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 v\u1ec1 quan h\u1ec7. H\u1ea7u…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.challengedtowin.com\/vi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/329"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.challengedtowin.com\/vi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.challengedtowin.com\/vi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.challengedtowin.com\/vi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.challengedtowin.com\/vi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=329"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/www.challengedtowin.com\/vi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/329\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":857,"href":"https:\/\/www.challengedtowin.com\/vi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/329\/revisions\/857"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.challengedtowin.com\/vi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=329"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}\n
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THE PSEUDO STAGE:<\/h5>\n
THE CHAOTIC STAGE:<\/h5>\n
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THE TOLERATING STAGE:<\/h5>\n
THE COMMUNION STAGE:<\/h5>\n