{"id":325,"date":"2015-11-16T02:32:19","date_gmt":"2015-11-16T02:32:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.challengedtowin.com\/?page_id=325"},"modified":"2017-02-24T23:09:48","modified_gmt":"2017-02-24T23:09:48","slug":"conflict-and-surprises","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.challengedtowin.com\/vi\/conflict-and-surprises\/","title":{"rendered":"3.\tM\u00e2u Thu\u1eabn v\u00e0 B\u1ea5t ng\u1edd"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"color: #339966;\"><strong>EXPLANATION<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<h2><\/h2>\n<p>Translated by:\u00a0 HAI DUC TRAN<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Ch\u01b0\u01a1ng n\u00e0y \u0111\u1ec1 c\u1eadp t\u1edbi s\u1ef1 B\u1ed1i r\u1ed1i- T\u00ecm ki\u1ebfm l\u1eddi gi\u1ea3i th\u00edch- kh\u00f4ng bi\u1ebft nguy\u00ean nh\u00e2n- \u0111\u00e1p \u00e1n kh\u00f4ng r\u00f5.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>B\u1ea5t ng\u1edd<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Tr\u01b0\u1edbc khi b\u00e0n v\u1ec1 \u0111\u1eddi s\u1ed1ng h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n th\u00ec y\u1ebfu t\u1ed1 M\u1ed1i Quan h\u1ec7 l\u1ea1i l\u00e0 ch\u1ee7 \u0111\u1ec1 ch\u00ednh \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c b\u00e0n t\u1edbi. T\u00f4i r\u1ea5t vui \u0111\u1ef1\u01a1c b\u1eaft \u0111\u1ea7u th\u1ea3o lu\u1eadn v\u1ec1 s\u1ef1 b\u1ea5t ng\u1edd c\u1ee7a ly th\u00e2n. T\u00f4i vi\u1ebft ch\u01b0\u01a1ng n\u00e0y v\u00ec \u0111\u00e2y ch\u00ednh l\u00e0 y\u1ebfu t\u1ed1 g\u00e2y s\u1eedng s\u1ed1t khi \u0111\u1eddi s\u1ed1ng h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n \u0111\u1ed5 v\u1ee1. C\u0169ng nh\u01b0 t\u00f4i, nhi\u1ec1u ng\u01b0\u1eddi l\u1ea7n \u0111\u1ea7u \u0111\u1ecdc\u00a0 v\u1ec1 H\u00f4n nh\u00e2n khi cu\u1ed9c s\u1ed1ng v\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng c\u1ee7a ch\u00ednh h\u1ecd b\u1ecb \u0111e do\u1ea1 hay v\u1eabn c\u00f2n t\u1ed3i t\u1ec7, sau \u0111\u00f3 ch\u1eb3ng c\u00f2n \u0111\u1ed3ng xu d\u00ednh t\u00fai. Tr\u01b0\u1edbc \u0111\u00f3, h\u1ecd vui m\u1eebng\u00a0 tin t\u01b0\u1edfng v\u00e0o tinh hoa ph\u00e1t ti\u1ebft ra r\u1eb1ng cu\u1ed9c h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd \u0111\u1ef1\u01a1c k\u1ebft h\u1ee3p t\u1eeb nh\u1eefng th\u1ee9\u00a0 nh\u01b0 \u2018\u0110\u00e1m c\u01b0\u1edbi v\u00e0ng\u2019 . Nhi\u1ec1u ng\u01b0\u1eddi nh\u1eadn ra r\u1eb1ng \u0111\u1eddi s\u1ed1ng h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd d\u01b0\u1eddng nh\u01b0 kh\u00f4ng c\u00f3 g\u00ec th\u1ea5y t\u01b0\u01a1i vui h\u01a1n th\u1ebf. H\u1ecd \u0111\u00e3 ngh\u0129 r\u1eb1ng n\u00f3 l\u00e0 m\u00e3i m\u00e3i. \u0110\u00e3 c\u00f3 l\u1ea7n hai ngu\u1eddi mong m\u1ecfi \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c c\u00f9ng nhau, ch\u1ec9\u00a0 xa c\u00e1ch c\u00f3 m\u1ed9t t\u00fd th\u00f4i m\u00e0 sao l\u00e2u th\u1ebf, kh\u00f4ng g\u1ecdi \u0111i\u1ec7n thi ch\u1ecbu \u0111\u1ef1\u01a1c sao. Nh\u1eefng \u0111i\u1ec1u \u0111\u00f3 du\u1eddng nh\u01b0 \u0111ang thay \u0111\u1ed5i v\u00e0 s\u1ef1 b\u1ea5t ho\u00e0 nh\u01b0 tr\u1edf n\u00ean thu\u1eddng xuy\u00ean h\u01a1n. B\u1ea5t ho\u00e0 c\u00f3 nhi\u1ec1u m\u1ee9c kh\u1edfi \u0111\u1ea7u, c\u00e3i v\u00e3 th\u01b0\u1eddng xuy\u00ean h\u01a1n,r\u1ea1n n\u1ee9t ch\u1eafc ch\u1eafn x\u1ea3y ra trong m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7, n\u00f3 b\u1eaft \u0111\u1ea7u ph\u00e1t tri\u1ec3n khi c\u00f3 d\u1ea5u hi\u1ec7u gi\u1eadt m\u00ecnh. Th\u1eadt b\u1ef1c m\u00ecnh ph\u1ea3i nh\u1eadn ra r\u1eb1ng \u0111i\u1ec1u b\u1ea5t ng\u1edd n\u00e0y l\u1ea1i c\u00f3 th\u1eadt. Ch\u01b0\u01a1ng n\u00e0y li\u00ean quan t\u1edbi nh\u1eefng \u0111i\u1ec1u gi\u1eadt m\u00ecnh m\u00e0 t\u00f4i \u0111\u00e3 ch\u1ee9ng ki\u1ebfn. C\u00f3 th\u1ec3 ng\u01b0\u1eddi n\u00e0y hay ngu\u1eddi kh\u00e1c s\u1ebd nh\u1eadn ra v\u1ebft t\u00edch c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh tr\u00ean nh\u01b0ng \u0111\u01b0\u1eddng m\u00f2n nh\u01b0 v\u1eady, lu\u00f4n c\u00f3 c\u1ea3m gi\u00e1c\u00a0 bi\u1ebft r\u1eb1ng ch\u00fang ta kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0 k\u1ebb duy nh\u1ea5t tr\u00ean h\u00e0nh tr\u00ecnh b\u1ed1i r\u1ed1i v\u01b0\u1ee3t qua \u0111\u1ea1i d\u01b0\u01a1ng kh\u00f4ng mong \u0111\u1ee3i n\u00e0y.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Kh\u00f4ng d\u1ec5 g\u00ec khi tr\u00ecnh b\u00e0y ng\u00f4n ng\u1eef\u00a0 c\u1ee7a tr\u00e1i tim b\u1eb1ng ng\u00f4n ng\u1eef c\u1ee7a tr\u00ed \u00f3c, v\u00e0 c\u00f2n \u0111\u1eb7c bi\u1ec7t kh\u00f3 kh\u0103n khi m\u00f4 t\u1ea3 v\u1ec1 cu\u1ed9c ly th\u00e2n b\u1ea5t th\u00ecnh\u00a0 l\u00ecnh. Nh\u1eefng v\u1ebft th\u01b0\u01a1ng v\u00e0 l\u1eddi c\u1ef1\u00a0 tuy\u1ec7t x\u1ea3y ra t\u1ea1i ch\u00ednh n\u01a1i c\u00f3 d\u01b0 th\u1eeba t\u00ecnh y\u00eau , ch\u00ednh n\u00f3 m\u1edbi l\u00e0 nguy\u00ean nh\u00e2n l\u00e0m ta s\u1eedng s\u1ed1t. S\u1ef1 c\u0103ng th\u1eb3ng n\u00e0y leo thang t\u1edbi m\u1ed9t \u0111i\u1ec3m n\u01a1i m\u00e0 s\u1ef1 \u0111au \u0111\u1edbn l\u00e0 s\u1ef1\u00a0 \u0111\u1ed3ng h\u00e0nh li\u00ean t\u1ee5c v\u00e0 l\u00e0 b\u00e0i h\u1ecdc kh\u00f3 kh\u0103n. Ch\u00fang ta t\u1ef1 h\u1ecfi t\u00ecnh y\u00eau sao l\u1ea1i thay \u0111\u1ed5i th\u00e0nh s\u1ef1 th\u1edd \u01a1 v\u00e0 t\u1ee9c gi\u1eadn \u0111\u1ef1\u01a1c?\u00a0 N\u00f3i chung, cu\u1ed9c s\u1ed1ng c\u00f3 nhi\u1ec1u \u0111i\u1ec1u l\u00e0m ta gi\u1eadt m\u00ecnh , ch\u00fang ta ph\u1ea3i lu\u00f4n nh\u1edb \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y n\u1ebfu kh\u00f4ng s\u1ebd kh\u00f4ng c\u00f3 \u0111\u1ed1i s\u00e1ch ch\u00ednh x\u00e1c khi nh\u1eefng \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y thay \u0111\u1ed5i. Cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1eddi v\u00e0 cu\u1ed9c s\u1ed1ng l\u00e0m ta nh\u1eadn bi\u1ebft l\u00fd do thay \u0111\u1ed5i- Cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1eddi ch\u00fang ta s\u1ebd kinh qua nh\u1eefng thay \u0111\u1ed5i- l\u00e0 \u0111i\u1ec1u ch\u1eafc ch\u1eafn. V\u00ed d\u1ee5, m\u1ed9t c\u00f4 g\u00e1i c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 \u01b0\u1edbc m\u01a1 l\u1ea5y \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c ng\u01b0\u1eddi gi\u00e0u c\u00f3, \u0111\u1eb9p trai\u00a0 v\u00e0 m\u1ea1nh kho\u1ebb, gi\u1ea5c m\u01a1 n\u00e0y c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 tr\u1edf th\u00e0nh hi\u1ec7n\u00a0 th\u1ef1c. Nh\u01b0ng kh\u00f4ng c\u00f3 s\u1ef1 \u0111\u1ea3m b\u1ea3o v\u1ec1 cu\u1ed9c s\u1ed1ng l\u00e2u d\u00e0i m\u00e0 \u01b0\u1edbc ao ti\u00eau chu\u1ea9n n\u00e0y v\u1eabn g\u1eefa nguy\u00ean. M\u1ed9t s\u1ef1 \u0111\u1ea3o ng\u01b0\u1ee3c trong vi\u1ec7c kinh doanh, tai n\u1ea1n, hay b\u1ea5t k\u1ef3 \u0111i\u1ec1u g\u00ec trong nh\u1eefng \u0111i\u1ec1u kh\u00e1c c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 l\u00e0m nh\u1eefng th\u1ee9 \u0111\u00f3 ho\u00e0n to\u00e0n \u0111\u1ea3o ng\u01b0\u1ee3c. Ti\u00eau chu\u1ea9n n\u00e0y kh\u00f4ng kh\u00f4ng th\u1ec3 c\u01b0\u1ee1ng l\u1ea1i \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c v\u00ec s\u1ef1 \u0111\u1ea7u c\u01a1 sai, t\u00ednh thi\u1ebfu th\u1eadn tr\u1ecdng , li\u1ec1u l\u0129nh m\u1ed9t c\u00e1ch d\u1ea1i d\u1ed9t. S\u1ef1 th\u1ea5t v\u1ecdng n\u00e0y c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 do nh\u1eefng thay \u0111\u1ed5 ch\u1ee9c n\u0103ng m\u00e0 n\u00f3 \u0111ang x\u1ea3y ra v\u00e0\u00a0 n\u00f3 v\u01b0\u1ee3t t\u1ea7m ki\u1ec1m so\u00e1t c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang ta.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Truy t\u00ecm l\u00fd do<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>S\u1ef1 vi\u1ec7c b\u1ea5t ng\u1edd x\u1ea3y ra v\u00e0 ch\u00fang ta \u0111\u00e3 k\u1ebft th\u00fac s\u1ef1 v\u1ee5 \u0111\u00f3 th\u00ec\u00a0b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n ta l\u1ea1i th\u00fac b\u00e1ch mu\u1ed1n gi\u1ea3i th\u00edch hi\u1ec7n t\u01b0\u1ee3ng \u0111\u00f3, con ngu\u1eddi c\u1ed1 l\u00e0m th\u1ebf \u0111\u1ec3 t\u00ecm cho ra l\u00fd do, c\u1ed1 ch\u1ec9 ra m\u1ed9t l\u00fd do m\u00e0 l\u00fd do \u0111\u00f3 l\u1ea1i nh\u01b0 m\u1ed9t \u201c\u1ea9n s\u1ed1 X thay \u0111\u1ed5i \u0111\u1ef1\u01a1c nh\u01b0 to\u00e1n h\u1ecdc. Ch\u00fang ta c\u1ed1 ch\u00e8n v\u00e0o m\u1ed9t l\u00fd do\u00a0 hay m\u1ed9t \u201c\u1ea9n s\u1ed1 X\u00a0\u0111\u1ec3 mong thay \u0111\u1ed5i\u201d b\u1edfi n\u00f3 gi\u00fap con ng\u01b0\u1eddi trong ch\u00ednh ch\u00fang ta x\u00fac ti\u1ebfn qua tr\u00ecnh \u0111\u00f3. Kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng n\u00e0y th\u1eadt \u0111\u1eb7c bi\u1ec7t trong con ng\u01b0\u1eddi, kh\u00f4ng c\u00f3\u00a0 kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng n\u00e0y ch\u00fang ta s\u1ebd b\u1ecb d\u1eebng l\u1ea1i nh\u01b0 b\u1ed9 \u0111i\u1ec1u ki\u1ec3n \u0111\u1ef1\u01a1c c\u00e0i \u0111\u1eb7t ch\u01b0\u01a1ng tr\u00ecnh logic\u00a0 ch\u1ec9 \u0111\u1ee3i t\u00edn hi\u1ec7u c\u00f2i b\u00e1o, r\u00f5 r\u00e0ng;Nh\u1eadp d\u1eef ki\u1ec7n v\u00e0o \u0111\u1ec3 ho\u1ea1t \u0111\u1ed9ng. Th\u1eadt ra ch\u00fang ta s\u1ebd b\u1ecb b\u1ebf t\u1eafc v\u00e0 b\u1ebf t\u1eafc t\u1eeb trong tr\u1ee9ng nu\u1edbc.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>T\u00f3m l\u1ea1i, cu\u1ed9c s\u1ed1ng ph\u1ea3i ti\u1ebfp t\u1ee5c, b\u1ea5t ch\u1ea5p s\u1ef1 vi\u1ec7c x\u1ea3y ra b\u1ea5t th\u00ecnh l\u00ecnh hay kh\u00f4ng. Vi\u1ec7c n\u00e0y\u00a0 \u201cTI\u1ebeP T\u1ee4C\u2019 s\u1ebd d\u1eabn t\u1edbi m\u1ed9t chu\u1ed7i nh\u1eefng\u00a0 kinh nghi\u1ec7m.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Nh\u1eefng kinh nghi\u1ec7m ph\u00f9 h\u1ee3p v\u1edbi\u00a0 l\u00fd tr\u00ed\u00a0 \u0111\u1ef1\u1ee3c l\u1eadp \u201ch\u1ed3 s\u01a1\u2019 v\u00e0o B\u1ed9 Nh\u1edb nh\u01b0 \u201cs\u1ef1 x\u00e1c nh\u1eadn\u201d hay \u201ct\u00e1i x\u00e1c nh\u1eadn\u201d\u00a0 L\u00fd tr\u00ed ti\u1ebfp t\u1ee5c theo h\u00ecnh th\u00e1i \u0111\u00f3 t\u1edbi khi b\u1ea5t th\u00ecnh l\u00ecnh \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c thi\u1ebft l\u1eadp. \u0110i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y\u00a0 th\u00fac \u0111\u1ea9y c\u00f3 nh\u1eefng l\u00fd tr\u00ed m\u1edbi; Hay l\u00fd tr\u00ed m\u1edbi \u0111\u1ef1\u01a1c ch\u1ec9 \u0111\u1ecbnh, n\u1ebfu l\u00fd tr\u00ed m\u1edbi t\u1ea1o ra m\u1ed9t c\u00e1ch chu\u1ea9n x\u00e1c th\u00ec m\u1ecdi \u201cThay \u0111\u1ed5i\u201d c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 x\u1ea3 ra hay c\u1ea3 s\u1ef1\u00a0 \u201cCh\u1ea5p thu\u1eadn\u201d c\u0169ng s\u1ebd theo sau.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Gi\u1ed1ng nh\u01b0 cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1eddi n\u00f3i chung, h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n l\u00e0 m\u1ed9t ph\u1ea7n c\u1ee7a cu\u1ed9c s\u1ed1ng , n\u00f3 mang theo m\u1ed9t chu\u1ed7i nh\u1eefng kinh nghi\u1ec7m, m\u1ed9t s\u1ed1 ch\u00ednh l\u00e0 nh\u1eefng \u0111i\u1ec1u g\u00e2y s\u1eedng s\u1ed1t. Ly th\u00e2n c\u0169ng gi\u1ed1ng nh\u01b0 s\u1ef1 th\u1eadt \u0111\u00f3, khi nh\u1eefng kinh nghi\u1ec7m n\u00e0y kh\u00f4ng li\u00ean quan t\u1edbi ch\u00fang ta hay ch\u00fang ta kh\u00f4ng t\u00ecm ra \u0111\u1ef1\u01a1c l\u00fd do ch\u00ednh \u0111\u00e1ng hay l\u1eddi gi\u1ea3i th\u00edch \u0111\u00fang, ch\u00fang ta g\u1eafn cho n\u00f3\u00a0 m\u1ed9t c\u00e1i m\u00e1c \u2018C\u1ea3m t\u01b0\u1edfng\u2019. N\u00f3i c\u00e1ch kh\u00e1c, n\u1ebfu ch\u00fang ta li\u00ean quan, s\u1ec5 g\u1eafn cho c\u00e1i m\u00e1c\u00a0 \u2018C\u1ea3m gi\u00e1c\u2019<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>PH\u00c2N LO\u1ea0I<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u1ea4n t\u01b0\u1ee3ng \u0111\u1ea7u ti\u00ean c\u1ee7a t\u00f4i v\u1ec1 ly th\u00e2n d\u1ef1a tr\u00ean\u00a0H\u00f4n nh\u00e2n ki\u1ec3u Holllywood. T\u00f4i ch\u1eafc r\u1eb1ng \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y ch\u1ec9 x\u1ea3y ra tr\u00ean phim \u1ea3nh th\u00f4i. N\u0103m n\u00e0y qua n\u0103m kh\u00e1c, nh\u01b0ng c\u1ea3m gi\u00e1c m\u1edbi l\u1ea1 l\u1ea1i \u0111\u1ebb ra s\u1ef1 ng\u1ea1c nhi\u00ean kh\u00e1c. Vi\u1ec7c s\u1eeda ch\u1eefa l\u1ea1i c\u1ee7a t\u00f4i b\u1eaft \u0111\u1ea7u b\u1eb1ng ph\u01b0\u01a1ng ti\u1ec7n th\u00f4ng tin. Kh\u00f4ng suy ngh\u0129 nhi\u1ec1u, hai ph\u1ea1m tr\u00f9 ri\u00eang r\u1ebd \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c h\u00ecnh th\u00e0nh v\u00e0 c\u00e1c cu\u1ed9c ly h\u00f4n \u0111\u1ef1\u01a1c l\u1eadp h\u1ed3 s\u01a1 theo c\u00e1ch n\u00e0y hay c\u00e1ch kh\u00e1c.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>HAI PH\u1ea0M TR\u00d9 \u0110\u00d3 L\u00c0:<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u0111\u1ef1\u01a1c ph\u1ed5 bi\u1ebfn s\u00e2u r\u1ed9ng nh\u01b0 di\u1ec5n vi\u00ean nam, n\u1eef, nh\u1eefng nh\u00e0 ch\u00ednh tr\u1ecb, nh\u1eefng \u00f4ng tr\u00f9m kinh doanh, v\u00e0 nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi c\u00f3 c\u00f4ng vi\u1ec7c s\u00e1ng gi\u00e1 th\u00ec d\u1ec5 b\u1ecb ly th\u00e2n.<\/li>\n<li>Nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi thu\u1ed9c v\u1ec1 nh\u1eefng ti\u00eau \u0111\u1ec1 ch\u00ednh n\u00e0o \u0111\u00f3 gi\u1ed1ng nh\u01b0 nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi c\u1ee7a m\u1ed9t qu\u1ed1c gia , m\u1ed9t ch\u1ee9c s\u1eafc t\u00f4n gi\u00e1o, \u0111\u1ecba v\u1ecb x\u00e3 h\u1ed9i v.v.v. v\u00ed d\u1ee5 nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u1edf c\u00e1c n\u1ee9\u01a1c ph\u01b0\u01a1ng t\u00e2y th\u00edch ly d\u1ecb h\u01a1n l\u00e0 nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u1edf c\u00e1c v\u00f9ng ch\u00e2u \u00c1 . Nh\u1eefng c\u1ea3m t\u01b0\u1edfng n\u00e0y thu l\u01b0\u1ee3m t\u1eeb \u0111\u00e2u \u0111\u00f3- c\u00f3 l\u1ebd tr\u00ean Tivi.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>S\u1ef1 kh\u00e1c nhau gi\u1eefa hai ph\u1ea1m tr\u00f9: M\u1ed9t ph\u1ea1m tr\u00f9 bao g\u1ed3m nh\u1eefng c\u00e1 nh\u00e2n trong khi ph\u1ea1m tr\u00f9 kia l\u1ea1i bao h\u00e0m c\u00e1c nh\u00f3m.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>T\u1eadn \u0111\u1ebfn khi t\u00f4i b\u1ecb d\u00ednh v\u00e0o b\u00ea b\u1ed1i trong h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n.Tr\u01b0\u1edbc \u0111\u00f3, ly th\u00e2n l\u00e0 m\u1ed9t th\u1ebf gi\u1edbi xa l\u1ea1 \u0111\u1ed1i v\u1edbi t\u00f4i v\u00e0 t\u00f4i kh\u00f4ng bao gi\u1edd ph\u1ea3i suy ngh\u0129 nhi\u1ec1u v\u1ec1 n\u00f3 hay ch\u00fa \u00fd t\u1edbi n\u00f3. B\u1ea5t th\u00ecnh l\u00ecnh, ho\u00e0n to\u00e0n b\u1ea5t ng\u1edd, m\u1ed9t h\u00f4m anh b\u1ea1n t\u00f4i th\u00f4ng b\u00e1o r\u1eb1ng anh \u0111\u00e3 ly h\u00f4n. Sao l\u1ea1i nhi\u1ec1u c\u1ea3m gi\u00e1c \u0111\u1ebfn th\u1ebf, \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y kh\u00f4ng h\u1ee3p v\u1edbi c\u1ea3m t\u01b0\u1edfng c\u1ee7a t\u00f4i v\u1ec1 ly d\u1ecb- Ho\u00e0n to\u00e0n b\u1ecb s\u1ed1c. Ch\u1eb3ng bao l\u00e2u sau nhi\u1ec1u ng\u01b0\u1eddi s\u1ebd bi\u1ebft ch\u00fang t\u00f4i, ly th\u00e2n.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u0110i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y cho th\u1ea5y m\u1ed9t s\u1ef1 th\u1eadt ranh gi\u1edbi c\u1ea3m t\u01b0\u1edfng c\u1ee7a\u00a0 t\u00f4i m\u1ed9t l\u1ea7n n\u1eefa ph\u1ea3 \u0111\u1ecbnh ngh\u0129a l\u1ea1i . \u0110\u00e2y l\u00e0 tr\u1ea3i nghi\u1ec7m v\u00f4 c\u00f9ng \u0111au \u0111\u1edbn. Tr\u01b0\u1edbc ti\u00ean h\u1ecd l\u00e0 b\u1ea1n c\u1ee7a t\u00f4i, ch\u00fang t\u00f4i s\u1ed1ng v\u1edbi nhau trong c\u00f9ng th\u1ecb tr\u1ea5n, c\u00f9ng h\u1ecdc v\u1edbi nhau. T\u00f4i l\u00e0\u00a0 ng\u01b0\u1eddi t\u00e2m ph\u00fac c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd trong nh\u1eefng ng\u00e0y h\u1ecd t\u00ecm hi\u1ec3u nhau, tham d\u1ef1 \u0111\u00e1m c\u01b0\u1edbi c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd v\u00e0 ch\u1ee9ng ki\u1ebfn m\u1ecdi l\u1eddi h\u1ee9a\u00a0 h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n m\u1ed9t c\u00e1ch c\u00f4ng khai v\u1edbi m\u1ecdi ng\u01b0\u1eddi.T\u00f4i c\u00f2n ch\u1ee5p \u1ea3nh \u0111\u00e1m c\u01b0\u1edbi c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd v\u00e0 tham d\u1ef1 l\u1ec5 R\u1eeda t\u1ed9i cho con c\u00e1i h\u1ecd. Th\u1eadt l\u00e0 m\u1ed9t tin s\u1ed1c, th\u1eadt s\u1eedng s\u1ed1t! Th\u1ee9 hai, t\u00f4i b\u1eaft \u0111\u1ea7u t\u1ef1 h\u1ecfi l\u00e0m sao m\u00e0 t\u00ecnh y\u00eau l\u1ea1i bi\u1ebfn \u0111\u1ed5i th\u00e0nh l\u00e3nh \u0111\u1ea1m v\u00e0 t\u1ee9c gi\u1eadn?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>T\u1eadp h\u1ee3p chu\u1ea9n m\u1ef1c h\u00e0nh vi theo nh\u00f3m t\u00e2m l\u00fd<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>T\u00f4i \u0111\u00e3 tr\u1ea3i qua m\u1ed9t gia \u0111o\u1ea1n v\u00e0 nh\u1eefng tr\u1ea3i nghi\u1ec7m khi nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi b\u1ea1n kh\u00e1c v\u00e0 t\u00f4i c\u00f9ng c\u1ed1 g\u1eafng ch\u1eafp v\u00e1 m\u1ecdi \u0111i\u1ec1u. T\u1ed1n r\u1ea5t nhi\u1ec1u th\u1eddi gian v\u00e0 c\u00f4ng s\u1ee9c \u0111\u1ec3 c\u1ed1 g\u1eafng c\u1ee7ng c\u1ed1 l\u1ea1i cu\u1ed9c h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n c\u1ee7a\u00a0 ng\u01b0\u1eddi b\u1ea1n. K\u1ef3 l\u1ea1 l\u00e0 c\u1ea3 hai v\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng \u0111\u1ec1u c\u00f3 v\u1ebb \u0111\u1ed3ng t\u00ecnh v\u1edbi nh\u1eefng l\u00fd do \u0111\u01b0a ra. H\u1ecd c\u00f2n c\u1ea3m k\u00edch\u00a0tr\u1ee9\u01a1c nh\u1eefng n\u1ed7 l\u1ef1c c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n b\u00e8 v\u00e0 b\u00e0 con th\u00e2n thu\u1ed9c. Th\u1ef1c t\u1ebf n\u00f3 c\u00f2n \u0111i xa h\u01a1n th\u1ebf, h\u1ecd c\u00f2n th\u1ec3 hi\u1ec7n m\u1ed9t c\u1ea3m gi\u00e1c r\u1eb1ng h\u1ecd c\u00f3 chung ti\u1ebfng n\u00f3i, n\u1ebfu kh\u00f4ng n\u00f3i l\u00e0 c\u00f9ng \u00fd tu\u1edfng. Nh\u01b0ng sau \u0111\u00f3 sao h\u1ecd l\u1ea1i h\u00e0nh \u0111\u1ed9ng m\u1ed9t c\u00e1ch th\u1edd \u01a1? L\u00e0m sao m\u1ed9t ng\u01b0\u1eddi t\u1ef1 m\u00ecnh c\u00f3 trong nh\u1eefng \u00fd trong t\u00ecnh tr\u1ea1ng chung m\u00e0 v\u00e0o l\u00fac n\u00e0y l\u1ea1i r\u01a1i v\u00e0o t\u00ecnh tr\u1ea1ng kh\u00f3 ch\u1eefa khi n\u00f3 \u0111\u00e3 nhi\u1ec5m v\u00e0o b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi hay cu\u1ed9c s\u1ed1ng h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd?\u00a0 \u0110\u1ed1i v\u1edbi t\u00f4i h\u00e0nh vi c\u01b0 x\u1eed n\u00e0y th\u1eadt kh\u00f3 hi\u1ec3u. T\u00f4i \u0111\u00e3 l\u01b0u c\u1ea3m gi\u00e1c n\u00e0y v\u00e0o t\u00e2m tr\u00ed\u00a0 theo \u0111\u1ec1 m\u1ee5c nh\u1ecf \u2018H\u00ecnh th\u00e1i l\u1ea1\u2019 v\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng c\u1ed1 th\u1eed hay ph\u00e2n t\u00edch n\u00f3 m\u1ed9t c\u00e1ch \u0111\u1ea7y \u0111\u1ee7. Tuy nhi\u00ean, c\u00f3 nh\u1eefng l\u1ea7n t\u00f4i b\u0103n kho\u0103n, t\u1ea1i sao l\u1ea1i c\u00f3 c\u00e1ch c\u01b0 x\u1eed l\u1ea1 nh\u01b0 v\u1eady. T\u00f4i bi\u1ebft nhi\u1ec1u tr\u01b0\u1eddng h\u1ee3p nh\u01b0 v\u1eady tr\u01b0\u1edbc \u0111\u00f3 h\u1ecd r\u1ea5t t\u1ed1t v\u1edbi nhau trong nhi\u1ec1u th\u00e1ng nhi\u1ec1u n\u0103m. Nh\u1eefng tr\u01b0\u1eddng h\u1ee3p nh\u01b0 th\u1ebf , t\u00f4i bi\u1ebft c\u1ea3 hai h\u1ecd c\u00f2n gi\u1ecfi tr\u00ean c\u1ea3 m\u1ee9c b\u00ecnh th\u01b0\u1eddng trong m\u1ecdi l\u0129nh v\u1ef1c: Th\u00f4ng minh, bi\u1ebft d\u00e0n x\u1ebfp, ngh\u1ec1 nghi\u1ec7p, c\u00f4ng vi\u1ec7c, h\u1ecdc v\u1ea5n, ti\u1ec1n b\u1ea1c, n\u1ec1n t\u1ea3ng gia \u0111\u00ecnh. Th\u1ef1c t\u1ebf, c\u1ea3 hai h\u1ecd \u0111\u1ec1u th\u1ef1c h\u00e0nh c\u00f9ng m\u1ed9t t\u00f4n gi\u00e1o. S\u1ef1 vi\u1ec7c ng\u00e0y c\u00e0ng t\u1ed3i t\u1ec7 h\u01a1n khi nh\u1eefng y\u1ebfu t\u1ed1 m\u1eadp m\u1edd t\u00e1c \u0111\u1ed9ng t\u1edbi b\u1edfi th\u00f3i h\u01b0 t\u1eadt x\u1ea5u nh\u01b0 nghi\u1ec7n r\u01b0\u1ee3u,c\u1edd b\u1ea1c..vv. Qua th\u1eddi gian ch\u00fang l\u00e0 nh\u00e2n t\u1ed1 g\u00f3p ph\u1ea7n v\u00e0o qu\u00e1 tr\u00ecnh \u0111\u1ed5 v\u1ee1. Bu\u1ed3n thay, t\u00f4i ph\u1ea3i li\u1ec7t nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi b\u1ea1n n\u00e0y v\u00e0o d\u1ea1ng th\u1ee9 ba v\u1edbi nh\u00e3n hi\u1ec7u l\u00e0 Ly th\u00e2n do t\u1ed5n th\u01b0\u01a1ng.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Trong khi r\u1ee7i ro h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n \u0111ang x\u1ea3y ra. T\u00f4i th\u1ea5y cu\u1ed9c h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 v\u01b0\u1ee3t qua b\u1ea5t k\u1ef3 c\u01a1n b\u00e3o n\u00e0o- v\u00e0 n\u00f3 t\u1ea1o cho t\u00f4i m\u1ed9t c\u1ea3m gi\u00e1c an to\u00e0n. Sau h\u1ebft t\u00f4i ph\u00e2n ra th\u00e0nh nhi\u1ec1u lo\u1ea1i ng\u01b0\u1eddi v\u00e0 nhi\u1ec1u nh\u00f3m kh\u00e1c nhau th\u00e0nh nh\u1eefng ph\u1ea1m tr\u00f9 ch\u1eb7t ch\u1ebd v\u00e0 t\u00f4i ch\u1eafc ch\u1eafn m\u00ecnh kh\u00f4ng thu\u1ed9c trong s\u1ed1 h\u1ecd- l\u00fd do l\u00e0:\u00a0 Ch\u00fang t\u00f4i kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0 nh\u1eefng k\u1ebb n\u1ed5i ti\u1ebfng; ch\u00fang t\u00f4i kh\u00f4ng thu\u1ed9c b\u1ed9 ph\u1eadn c\u1ee7a \u0111\u1ed9i ng\u0169 trong Hollywood. B\u00ean c\u1ea1nh \u0111\u00f3, ch\u00fang t\u00f4i thu\u1ed9c c\u1ed9ng \u0111\u1ed3ng ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u1ea4n \u0110\u1ed9 n\u01a1i m\u00e0 vi\u1ec7c ly h\u00f4n l\u00e0 c\u00e1i g\u00ec \u0111\u00f3 r\u1ea5t xa l\u1ea1 ngay c\u1ea3 trong t\u01b0 t\u01b0\u1edfng. B\u1ea5t k\u1ef3 khi n\u00e0o n\u00f3i v\u1ec1 ch\u1ee7 \u0111\u1ec1 n\u00e0y th\u00ec ph\u1eb3ng ph\u1ea5t \u0111\u00e2u \u0111\u00f3 c\u00f3 \u00e2m \u0111i\u1ec7u ng\u00e2n nga nh\u01b0 ki\u1ec3u \u2018N\u00f3 x\u1ea3y ra \u1edf \u0111\u00e2u \u0111\u00f3 th\u00f4i\u2019 , \u2018\u0110i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 x\u1ea3y ra v\u1edbi ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c\u2019, b\u1eb1ng c\u00e1ch \u1ea5y, t\u00f4i tin m\u1ed9t c\u00e1ch kh\u00f4ng \u00fd th\u1ee9c r\u1eb1ng cu\u1ed9c h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n c\u1ee7a t\u00f4i t\u1ea1o ra kh\u00f4ng d\u00e0nh cho s\u1ef1 tan v\u1ee1. T\u1ea5t nhi\u00ean c\u0169ng c\u00f3 gi\u00e2y ph\u00fat b\u1ea5t an, nh\u01b0ng sau \u0111\u00f3 s\u1ef1 vi\u1ec7c coi nh\u01b0\u00a0 l\u00e0 con s\u00f3ng nh\u1eb9 v\u1ed7 v\u00e0o b\u1edd \u0111\u00e1. V\u00e0 ti\u1ebfp theo 11 \u00bd n\u0103m sau ch\u00fang t\u00f4i ly th\u00e2n v\u00e0 t\u00f4i t\u1ef1 h\u1ecfi \u201c\u0110\u00e2y l\u00e0 s\u1ef1 th\u1eadt sao? N\u00f3 th\u1ef1c s\u1ef1 x\u1ea3y ra v\u1edbi t\u00f4i sao?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>L\u00e0 s\u1ef1 th\u1eadt sao?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Tr\u01b0\u1edbc khi ch\u00fang t\u00f4i nh\u1eadn th\u1ee9c \u0111\u1ea7y \u0111\u1ee7 nh\u1eefng\u00a0 g\u00ec \u0111ang di\u1ec5n ra, t\u00f4i th\u1ea5y m\u00ecnh \u0111ang lao xu\u1ed1ng theo \u0111\u01b0\u1eddng xo\u00e1y\u00a0 tr\u00f4n \u1ed1c v\u00e0o m\u1ed9t c\u01a1n l\u1ed1c \u0111\u1ef1\u01a1c g\u1ecdi l\u00e0 \u2018Cu\u1ed9c h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n tan v\u1ee1\u201d . D\u01b0\u1eddng nh\u01b0 th\u1ea5y nh\u1eefng r\u00e0ng bu\u1ed9c c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang t\u00f4i \u0111ang v\u1ee1 ra tan t\u00e0nh . S\u1ef1 t\u00f4n tr\u1ecdng l\u1eabn nhau \u0111ang b\u1ecb b\u00e0o m\u00f2n m\u1ed9t ch\u00e1ch nhanh ch\u00f3ng. S\u1ef1 th\u00f9 gh\u00e9t \u0111\u00e3 h\u1ea5t c\u1eb3ng t\u00ecnh y\u00eau ra ngo\u00e0i. V\u00e0 s\u1ef1 khoan dung tr\u1edf th\u00e0nh quy lu\u1eadt h\u0103ng ng\u00e0y v\u00e0 m\u1ed7i c\u1ed1 g\u1eafng t\u1ed1t \u0111\u1eb9p \u0111\u1ec1u mang l\u1ea1i k\u1ebft qu\u1ea3 ng\u01b0\u1ee3c m\u1ed9t c\u00e1ch kinh t\u1edfm. Ch\u00fang t\u00f4i ch\u00ecm v\u00e0o ng\u1ee5c t\u00f9 \u0111\u1ed1i ngh\u1ecbch, c\u00f3 nh\u1eefng ph\u1ea3n \u1ee9ng x\u00e1o tr\u1ed9n- M\u1ed9t m\u1eb7t\u00a0 ch\u00fang t\u00f4i th\u1ea5y m\u00ecnh kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0 kh\u00e1n gi\u1ea3- ch\u00fang t\u00f4i th\u1ef1c s\u1ef1 l\u00e0 nh\u1eefng n\u1ea1n nh\u00e2n c\u1ee7a c\u00e1i\u00a0 g\u00ec \u0111\u00f3 g\u1ecdi l\u00e0 cu\u1ed9c h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n tan v\u1ee1! M\u1eb7t kh\u00e1c ch\u00fang t\u00f4i \u0111ang v\u1edb v\u1ee9u l\u1ea5y m\u1ed9t t\u00ed g\u1ecdi l\u00e0 g\u1ee3i m\u1ed9t ch\u00fat hy v\u1ecdng. T\u00f4i tin theo c\u00e1ch kh\u00e1c, v\u1edbi t\u00ecnh h\u00ecnh chung, ng\u01b0\u1eddi ta c\u0169ng ch\u1ec9 l\u00e0m \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c nh\u01b0 v\u1eady.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Th\u00e1i \u0111\u1ed9 k\u1ef3 qu\u1eb7c<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>B\u1ea3n ch\u1ea5t \u0111\u00e0n \u00f4ng v\u01b0\u1ee3t ra ngo\u00e0i s\u1ef1 suy lu\u1eadn- Anh ta\u00a0 \u2018K\u1ef3 qu\u1eb7c\u2019. M\u1ed9t s\u1ed1 v\u01b0\u01a1n t\u1edbi \u0111\u1ed9 th\u00f4ng minh c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd, s\u1ed1 kh\u00e1c l\u1ea1i vin v\u00e0o l\u00fd tr\u00ed, hay l\u1ea1i \u0111e do\u1ea1, ng\u0103n c\u1ea3n con c\u00e1i, l\u1ea1i c\u00f3 k\u1ebb vin v\u00e0o quy\u1ec1n n\u0103ng hay b\u1ea5t k\u1ef3 th\u1ee9 g\u00ec\u00a0 kh\u00e1c c\u00f3 s\u1eb5n. \u0110i\u1ec1u kh\u00e1c n\u1eefa trong kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng c\u1ee7a \u0111\u00e0n \u00f4ng b\u00ean c\u1ea1ch c\u00e1i \u2018k\u1ef3 qu\u1eb7c\u2019 l\u00e0 c\u1ed1 th\u1eed m\u1ed9t chi\u1ebfn l\u01b0\u1ee3c kh\u00e1c\u00a0 v\u1edbi hy v\u1ecdng c\u00f3 nh\u1eefng \u0111i\u1ec1u l\u1ea1 th\u01b0\u1eddng s\u1ebd mang l\u1ea1i\u00a0 k\u1ebft qu\u1ea3 t\u1ed1t h\u01a1n. \u0111\u1ea1c bi\u1ec7t khi ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u0111\u00f3\u00a0 \u0111\u00e3 n\u1ebfm m\u00f9i th\u1ea5t b\u1ea1i. Do v\u1eady ho\u00e0n to\u00e0n t\u1ef1\u00a0 nhi\u00ean c\u00f3 nhi\u1ec1u c\u00e1ch ti\u1ebfp c\u1eadn \u0111\u1ec3 th\u1eed gi\u1ea3i\u00a0 quy\u1ebft v\u1ea5n.\u00a0 Cho d\u00f9 c\u00f3 nhi\u1ec1u ph\u01b0\u01a1ng ph\u00e1p ti\u1ebfp c\u1eadn \u0111\u1ec3 gi\u1ea3i quy\u1ebft nh\u01b0ng m\u1ed9t s\u1ed1 n\u00e9t ti\u00eau bi\u1ec3u b\u1ecb r\u00e0ng bu\u1ed9c kh\u00f4ng t\u00e1n th\u00e0nh l\u1ea1i n\u1ed5i b\u1eadt h\u01a1n. T\u00ecnh tr\u1ea1ng n\u1ed5i b\u1eadt n\u00e0y hay s\u1ef1 \u01b0a th\u00edch h\u01a1n l\u00e0 c\u00e1i g\u00ec \u0111\u00f3 tr\u1ef1c ti\u1ebfp t\u1edbi m\u1ed9t c\u00e1 nh\u00e2n \u0111\u1eb7c bi\u1ec7t.Th\u1eadt \u0111\u1eb9p v\u00e0 c\u00f3 l\u1ebd s\u1ebd r\u1ea5t th\u00fa v\u1ecb n\u1ebfu c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 t\u00ecm ra \u0111i\u1ec1u g\u00ec \u0111\u00f3 h\u01a1n l\u00e0 v\u1ec1 b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n m\u00ecnh b\u1eb1ng c\u00e1ch t\u1ef1\u00a0 nhi\u00ean, v\u00ec ch\u1ec9 nh\u1eefng \u0111i\u1ec1u t\u1ed1t \u0111\u1eb9p trong cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1eddi m\u1edbi n\u00f3i l\u00ean kh\u00eda c\u1ea1nh n\u00e0o \u0111\u00f3 v\u1ec1 b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n, ngh\u1ecbch c\u1ea3ng c\u0169ng l\u00e0m nh\u01b0 th\u1ebf. H\u00e3y c\u1ed1 g\u1eafng nhi\u1ec1u v\u1ec1 b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n \u0111\u1ec3 ho\u00e0n thi\u1ec7n nh\u1eefng y\u1ebfu \u0111u\u1ed1i v\u00e0 c\u1ea3i thi\u1ec7n\u00a0 nh\u1eefng kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng m\u1ea1nh c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh. T\u1eeb \u0111\u00f3 chung ta tr\u1edf n\u00ean\u00a0 n\u1ed7 l\u1ef1c h\u01a1n \u0111\u1ec3 th\u1eed v\u00e0 ki\u1ec3m tra b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n nh\u1eb1m c\u1ea3i thi\u1ec7n m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n c\u1ee7a ch\u00ednh m\u00ecnh. Trong tr\u01b0\u1eddng h\u1ee3p c\u1ee7a t\u00f4i, d\u01b0\u1eddng nh\u01b0 n\u1ed5i l\u00ean hai tr\u01b0\u01a1ng h\u1ee3p r\u00f5 n\u00e9t nh\u1ea5t trong c\u01a1 kh\u1ee7ng\u00a0 ho\u1ea3ng, x\u00e1o tr\u1ed9n v\u00e0 s\u1eedng s\u1ed1t.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>T\u00f4i c\u1ed1 ph\u00e2n t\u00edch m\u1ecdi \u0111i\u1ec1u v\u00e0 \u0111\u01b0a ch\u00fang v\u00e0o m\u1ed9t c\u1ea5u tr\u00fac(Sau \u0111\u00f3, trong th\u1eddi gian \u0111i\u1ec1u tra v\u1ec1 cu\u1ed9c h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n n\u00e0y, t\u00f4 \u0111\u00e3 nh\u1eadn th\u1ea5y \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y l\u00e0 n\u00e9t \u0111\u1eb7c tr\u01b0ng ti\u00eau bi\u1ec3u c\u1ee7a ph\u00e1i m\u1ea1nh.).<\/p>\n<p>N\u00e9t ti\u00eau bi\u1ec3u th\u1ee9 hai l\u00e0 t\u00f4i c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 t\u0103ng c\u01b0\u1eddng s\u1ef1 li\u00ean k\u1ebft gi\u1eefa t\u00f4i v\u1edbi l\u1eddi d\u1ea1y c\u1ee7a Ch\u00faa, n\u00f3i theo s\u1ef1 kh\u00f4ng ngoan thu\u1ea7n tu\u00fd chuy\u00ean m\u00f4n , c\u00e2u n\u00e0y ph\u1ea3i di\u1ec5n \u0111\u1ea1t l\u1ea1i l\u00e0 \u201c Ch\u00faa nh\u00e2n l\u00e0nh \u0111\u00e3 \u0111\u1ec3 t\u00f4i g\u1eafn b\u00f3 v\u1edbi nh\u1eefng l\u1eddi d\u1ea1y c\u1ee7a Ng\u00e0i qua \u0110\u1ee9c tin.\u201d T\u00f4i ch\u01b0a bao gi\u1edd bi\u1ebft \u0111u\u1ee3c r\u1eb1ng m\u00ecnh l\u1ea1i quay l\u1ea1i v\u1edbi Ch\u00faa theo c\u00e1ch n\u00e0y. Ngay c\u1ea3 b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n t\u00f4i c\u0169ng kh\u00f4ng ng\u1edd.Thi\u1ebft ngh\u0129 \u0111\u00e2y c\u0169ng l\u00e0 v\u1eadn may \u0111\u1ec3 nh\u1eadn \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c \u00e2n hu\u1ec7 c\u1ee7a Ch\u00faa, v\u00ec kh\u00f4ng bi\u1ebft l\u00e0m g\u00ec khi kh\u00f4ng c\u00f3 \u00e2n hu\u1ec7 \u0111\u00f3.<\/p>\n<p>T\u00f4i \u0111\u00e3 b\u1eaft \u0111\u1ea7u suy ngh\u0129 v\u1ec1 hai ti\u00eau \u0111i\u1ec3m n\u00e0y. \u0110i\u1ec1u \u0111\u1ea7u ti\u00ean d\u01b0\u1eddng nh\u01b0 l\u00e0 c\u00e1i g\u00ec \u0111\u00f3 r\u1ea5t t\u1ef1 nhi\u00ean \u0111\u1ed5 v\u00e0o trong t\u00f4i b\u1edfi\u00a0 ch\u00fang t\u00f4i \u0111ang mang trong m\u00ecnh nhi\u1ec1u t\u00e2m tr\u1ea1ng t\u00e2m l\u00fd. V\u1edbi t\u00f4i, vi\u1ec7c h\u1ecdc h\u00e0nh l\u1ea1i \u1edf \u0110\u1ee9c- V\u00f9ng t\u01b0 t\u01b0\u1edfng chuy\u00ean m\u00f4n c\u1ee7a t\u00f4i l\u00e0 k\u1ef9 thu\u1eadt, ngh\u1ec1 c\u1ee7a t\u00f4i l\u00e0 t\u01b0 v\u1ea5n k\u1ef9 thu\u1eadt. C\u00e1c d\u1ef1 \u00e1n c\u1ee7a t\u00f4i \u0111\u1eb7c bi\u1ec7t v\u1ec1 thi\u1ebft k\u1ebf m\u00e1y cho ph\u00f9 h\u1ee3p v\u1edbi nhu c\u1ea7u kh\u00e1c h\u00e0ng. C\u00f4ng b\u1eb1ng m\u00e0 n\u00f3i t\u00f4i c\u00f3 v\u1eeba \u0111\u1ee7 c\u00f4ng vi\u1ec7c ph\u00e2n t\u00edch \u0111\u1ec3\u00a0 l\u00e0m m\u1ed7i ng\u00e0y. V\u1ec1 c\u01a1 b\u1ea3n, t\u00f4i th\u00edch n\u00f3.Do \u0111\u00f3 t\u00f4i c\u00f3 \u0111\u1ed9ng l\u1ef1c m\u1ea1nh m\u1ebd \u0111\u1ec3 c\u1ed1 g\u1eafng v\u00e0 c\u1ea5u tr\u00fac ho\u00e1 c\u00e1c v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1, ngay c\u1ea3 ch\u00fang li\u00ean quan \u0111\u1ebfn nh\u1eefng v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 c\u00e1 nh\u00e2n. Th\u1ef1c s\u1ef1, t\u00f4i c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 m\u1ea1nh b\u1ea1o m\u00e0 n\u00f3i, t\u00f4i tin\u00a0 nh\u1eefng ph\u00e2n t\u00edch l\u00e0 c\u1ea7n thi\u1ebft, n\u1ebfu kh\u00f4ng cu\u1ed9c s\u1ed1ng s\u1ebd tr\u1edf n\u00ean h\u1ed7n lo\u1ea1n.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>D\u1ea4U V\u1ebeT<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>M\u1ed9t qu\u00e3ng th\u1eddi gian d\u00e0i, t\u00f4i ngh\u0129\u00a0 ph\u01b0\u01a1ng h\u01b0\u1edbng gi\u1ea3i quy\u1ebft c\u00f3 \u1edf \u0111\u00e2u \u0111\u00f3 \u2018M\u1ed9t chi\u1ec1u\u2019 .T\u00f4i \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c x\u00e1c \u0111\u1ecbnh t\u00ecm ki\u1ebfm n\u00f3 theo c\u00e1ch c\u1ee7a t\u00f4i \u0111\u1ec3 gi\u1ea3i quy\u1ebft v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1. Trong th\u1eddi gan \u0111\u00f3, t\u00f4i vi\u1ebft theo khu\u00f4n m\u1eabu c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n t\u00f4i:<\/p>\n<p>T\u1ea1i sao nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi cha\/m\u1eb9 h\u1ebft m\u1ef1c y\u00eau con m\u00ecnh l\u1ea1i s\u1eb5n s\u00e0ng ly h\u00f4n? T\u1ea5t c\u1ea3 nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u0111\u1ef1\u01a1c h\u1ecfi c\u00e2u n\u00e0y \u0111\u1ec1u c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y th\u1eadt kh\u00f3 hi\u1ec3u. Trong bao \u0111i\u1ec1u kh\u00f3 hi\u1ec3u n\u00e0y, t\u00f4i th\u1ea5y m\u00ecnh c\u0169ng v\u1eady. Ch\u00fang t\u00f4i c\u1ed1 \u0111\u01b0a ra nh\u1eefng c\u00e2u gi\u1ea3i th\u00edch r\u1eb1ng b\u1edfi th\u1ebf n\u00e0y, b\u1edfi\u00a0 th\u1ebf kia, v\u00ec c\u00e1i g\u00ec g\u00ec kh\u00e1c. Gi\u1edd \u0111\u00e2y, t\u00f4i bu\u1ed9c ph\u1ea3i suy ngh\u0129 v\u1ec1 n\u00f3, ph\u1ea3i b\u1eadn t\u00e2m h\u01a1n v\u1ec1 v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 n\u00e0y. T\u00f4i t\u1ef1 h\u1ecfi \u0111i\u1ec1u g\u00ec \u0111\u00e3 th\u1ef1c s\u1ef1 x\u1ea3y ra? m\u1ecdi ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u0111\u1ec1u bi\u1ebft r\u1eb1ng ly h\u00f4n l\u00e0 b\u1ea5t l\u1ee3i, \u0111\u1eb7c bi\u1ec7t v\u1edbi con c\u00e1i, m\u1ecdi b\u1eadc ph\u1ee5 hu\u1ef3nh \u0111\u1ec1u th\u1eeba nh\u1eadn. V\u00e0 cho d\u00f9 th\u1ebf, h\u1ecd v\u1ea5n ti\u1ebfn h\u00e0nh ly d\u1ecb.Y\u1ebfu t\u1ed1 l\u00e0m cho cu\u1ed9c s\u1ed1ng h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n tan v\u1ee1 qu\u1ea3 th\u1eadt ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0 c\u00e1i g\u00ec \u0111\u00f3 h\u1ebft s\u1ee9c m\u1ea1nh m\u1ebd v\u00e0 r\u1ea5t x\u1ea3o quy\u1ec7t, b\u1edfi n\u00f3 ph\u00e1 v\u1ee1 m\u1ed9t gia \u0111\u00ecnh h\u1ea1nh ph\u00fac ngay t\u1eeb b\u00ean trong! N\u1ebfu t\u1ea5n c\u00f4ng t\u1eeb ngo\u00e0i, \u1eaft h\u1eb3n c\u00e1c th\u00e0nh vi\u00ean trong gia \u0111\u00ecnh s\u1ebd s\u00e1t c\u00e1nh b\u00ean nhau v\u00e0 s\u1ebd \u0111\u1ed9ng vi\u00ean nhau \u2018D\u1eebng l\u1ea1i\u2019. Gi\u00e1o h\u1ed9i d\u1ea1y r\u1eb1ng \u201cGia \u0111\u00ecnh h\u00e3y c\u1ea7u nguy\u1ec7n c\u00f9ng nhau\u201d l\u00e0 nh\u1eefng \u0111i\u1ec1u t\u00f4i nghe th\u1ea5y nhi\u1ec1u l\u1ea7n nh\u01b0ng\u00a0 ch\u01b0a bao gi\u1edd suy ngh\u0129\u00a0 v\u1ec1 n\u00f3 cho t\u1edbi ch\u00ednh cu\u1ed9c kh\u1ee7ng ho\u1ea3ng c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang t\u00f4i\u2026..<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTh\u1ef1c t\u1ebf, y\u00eau t\u00f3 l\u00e0m tan v\u1ee1 \u0111\u1eddi s\u1ed1ng h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 xu\u1ea5t hi\u1ec7n b\u1ea5t th\u00ecnh l\u00ecnh v\u00e0 c\u0169ng t\u1eeb ngay trong ch\u00ednh \u0111\u1eddi s\u1ed1ng c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang ta. N\u1ebfu ch\u1ecbu quan s\u00e1t xung quanh, ta s\u1ebd th\u1ea5y nh\u1eefng r\u1eafc r\u1ed1i v\u1ec1 h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n \u0111ang x\u1ea3y ra v\u1edbi nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi gi\u00e0u c\u00f3 c\u0169ng nh\u01b0 ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00f3 kh\u1ed5. Ng\u01b0\u1eddi gi\u00e0u v\u00e0 ng\u01b0\u1eddi ngh\u00e8o \u0111\u1ed1i l\u1eadp nhau! D\u00f9 ch\u1ed3ng l\u00e0 k\u1ebb nghi\u1ec7n r\u01b0\u1ee3u hay kh\u00f4ng\u2026..c\u0169ng gi\u1ed1ng nhau \u1edf \u0111i\u1ec3m nay. Ch\u00fang ta c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 suy x\u00e9t b\u1ea5t k\u1ef3 y\u1ebfu t\u1ed1 n\u00e0o\u00a0 c\u1ee7a con ng\u01b0\u00f2i c\u00f3 kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng hay kh\u00f4ng c\u00f3 kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng, v\u00e0 do th\u1ebf ,ch\u00fang ta nh\u1eadn th\u1ea5y con ng\u01b0\u1eddi c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 tr\u1edf n\u00ean d\u1ec5 b\u1ecb d\u1eabn t\u1edbi l\u00fd d\u1ecb.\u00a0 \u0110i\u1ec1u n\u00f3i \u0111\u1ebfn ch\u00ednh l\u00e0:Nh\u1eefng y\u1ebfu t\u1ed1 ngh\u1ec1 nghi\u1ec7p,ti\u1ec1n b\u1ea1c,nghi\u1ec7n ng\u1eadp,ng\u01b0\u1eddi trong gia \u0111\u00ecnh th\u00f4ng gia,\u2026. L\u00e0 nh\u1eefng l\u00fd do th\u1ef1c s\u1ef1 hay ch\u00fang ch\u1ec9 l\u00e0 m\u1ed9t s\u1ef1 \u0111\u00e1nh l\u1eeba b\u1ec1 ngo\u00e0i cho c\u00e1i g\u00ec \u0111\u00f3 kh\u00e1c?\u00a0 Nh\u1eefng l\u00fd do ch\u00fang ta \u0111\u1ec1 c\u1eadp \u1edf tr\u00ean ch\u1ec9 l\u00e0 \u201cT\u1ed1t \u0111\u1ecf\u201d hay m\u1ed9t c\u00e1i b\u1eaby \u0111\u1ec3 h\u01b0\u1edbng s\u1ef1 ch\u00fa \u00fd c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang ta ra kh\u1ecfi l\u00fd do t\u1ef1c s\u1ef1 c\u1ee7a n\u00f3? Ch\u1eafc ch\u1eafn c\u00f3 m\u1ed9t th\u1ebf l\u1ef1c m\u1ea1nh m\u1ebd n\u00e0o \u0111\u00f3 \u0111\u1ee9ng \u0111\u1eb1ng sau cu\u1ed9c s\u1ed1ng h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n l\u00e0 nh\u1eefng l\u00fd do \u0111\u01a1n thu\u1ea7n nh\u01b0 nghi\u1ec7n r\u01b0\u1ee3u, ti\u1ec1n b\u1ea1c. v.v. N\u00f3i c\u00e1ch kh\u00e1c, nh\u1eefng y\u1ebfu t\u1ed1 \u0111\u00f3 kh\u00f4ng th\u1ec3 c\u00f3 \u0111\u1ee7 kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng \u0111\u1ec3 ti\u1ebfn h\u00e0nh m\u1ed9t cu\u1ed9c l\u00fd d\u1ecb nh\u01b0 th\u1ebf. B\u1eaft \u0111\u1ea7u \u0111\u01a1n gi\u1ea3n l\u00e0 m\u1ed9t gi\u00e1o ph\u00e1i dung t\u1ee5c \u1edf \u0111\u00e2u \u0111\u00f3, l\u00e0 gi\u00e1o ph\u00e1i r\u1ea5t qu\u1ef7 quy\u1ec7t n\u00f3 kh\u00f4ng ch\u1ec9 che \u0111\u1eady \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n m\u00e0 c\u00f2n \u0111\u1ee7 th\u00f4ng minh \u0111\u1ec3 hi\u1ec3u \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c b\u1ea3n t\u00ednh c\u01a1 b\u1ea3n c\u1ee7a con ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u2013 R\u1eb1ng b\u1ea3n ch\u1ea5t n\u00e0y c\u1ea7n ph\u1ea3i t\u00ecm cho ra l\u00fd do \u0111\u1ec3 \u201c\u1ed2n \u00e0o, \u00e2m \u1ef9\u201d hay n\u00f3 ph\u1ea3i ch\u1ec9 \u0111\u1ecbnh m\u1ed9t l\u00fd do. M\u1ee5c \u0111\u00edch l\u00e0 \u0111\u1ec3 \u201cTi\u1ebfn h\u00e0nh\u201d quy\u1ec1n l\u1ef1c ma qu\u1ef7 n\u00e0y c\u00f3 kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng chi\u1ebfm c\u1ee9 b\u1ea5t k\u1ef3 n\u01a1i n\u00e0o kh\u00e1c. N\u00f3 c\u0169ng \u0111\u1ee7 x\u1ea3o quy\u1ec7t \u0111\u1ec3 s\u1eed d\u1ee5ng th\u1ef1c t\u1ebf n\u00e0y v\u00e0 l\u00e0m cho con ng\u01b0\u01a1i sao l\u00e3ng \u0111i b\u1eb1ng c\u00e1ch ch\u1ec9 ra l\u00fd do l\u00e0 do ti\u1ec1n, r\u01b0\u1ee3u, l\u1ed7i l\u1ea7m v\u1edbi b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1eddi, gia \u0111\u00ecnh th\u00f4ng gia\u00a0. v.v.V\u00e0 b\u1eb1ng c\u00e1ch nay s\u1ebd kh\u00f4ng b\u1ecb ph\u00e1t hi\u1ec7n ra b\u1ea3n ch\u1ea5t th\u1eadt c\u1ee7a n\u00f3. Nghe c\u00f3 v\u1ebb tri\u1ebft l\u00fd, nh\u01b0ng\u2026\u2026..\u201d<\/p>\n<p>V\u00e0 t\u1eeb \u0111\u00f3 vi\u1ec7c s\u0103n t\u00ecm gi\u00e1o ph\u00e1i dung t\u1ee5c b\u1eaft \u0111\u1ea7u\u2026..<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>M\u1ed9t kho\u1ea3ng th\u1eddi gian r\u1ea5t l\u00e2u, t\u00f4i ph\u1ea3i n\u1ed7 l\u1ef1c v\u00e0 b\u1ecf th\u1eddi gian \u0111\u1ec3 t\u00ecm k\u00edm c\u00e1i g\u1ecd l\u00e0 Gi\u00e1o ph\u00e1i dung t\u1ee5c(D\u1ea5u m\u1eb7t). V\u00e0o m\u1ed9t h\u00f4m, b\u1ed7ng d\u01b0ng trong \u0111\u1ea7u n\u1ea3y sinh c\u00e1ch gi\u1ea3i quy\u1ebft c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i ki\u1ec3u m\u1ed9t chi\u1ec1u nh\u01b0 t\u00f4i \u0111\u00e3 nh\u1eadn \u0111\u1ecbnh tr\u01b0\u1edbc \u0111\u00f3. D\u00f3 l\u00e0 khi t\u00f4i ki\u1ec3m ch\u1ee9ng c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 c\u00f3 v\u1ebft t\u00edch th\u1ee9 hai. T\u00f4i nh\u1eadn \u0111\u00ecnh \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y b\u1eb1ng \u0110\u1ee9c tin\u00a0 trong\u00a0 Ch\u00faa kh\u00f4ng th\u1ec3 t\u1eeb b\u1ecf- Thi\u1ebfu \u0110\u1ee9c tin, m\u1ecdi vi\u1ec7c\u00a0 s\u1ebd r\u1ed1i\u00a0 tinh. Vi\u1ec7c n\u00e0y s\u1ebd ph\u01b0\u01a1ng h\u1ea1i \u0111\u1ebfn t\u1ea5t c\u1ea3 m\u1ecdi th\u1ee9 li\u00ean quan. N\u00f3 s\u1ebd \u0111\u1ea9y ch\u00fang ta t\u1edbi m\u1ed9t khung c\u1ea3nh, n\u01a1i t\u00e1t c\u1ea3 ch\u00fang ta s\u1ebd tr\u1edf n\u00ean nh\u1eefng k\u1ebb b\u1ea1i tr\u1eadn-Ch\u1ed3ng-V\u1ee3, con c\u00e1i.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>T\u1eeb khi sinh ra, t\u00f4i \u0111\u00e3 c\u00f3 b\u1ed5n ph\u1eadn l\u00e0 ng\u01b0\u1eddi C\u00f4ng gi\u00e1o. Do \u0111\u00f3, \u0110\u1ee9c tin th\u00ec kh\u00f4ng kh\u00f3 g\u00ec cho t\u00f4i ch\u1ea5p nh\u1eadn, nh\u01b0ng t\u00f4i th\u1ea5y ng\u1ea1c nhi\u00ean sao l\u1ea1i kh\u00f3 \u0111\u1ebfn v\u1eady khi ph\u1ea3i s\u1ed1ng theo \u0111\u00fang tin th\u1ea7n c\u1ee7a n\u00f3. \u0110\u00e2y l\u00e0 l\u1ea7n \u0111\u1ea7u ti\u00ean; T\u00f4i th\u1ef1c s\u1ef1 c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y nh\u1eefng g\u00ec m\u00e0\u00a0 c\u00e1c m\u00f4n \u0111\u1ec7 c\u1ee7a Ng\u00e0i ph\u1ea3i n\u1ebfm m\u00f9i khi h\u1ecd nghe theo\u00a0 nh\u1eefng l\u1eddi d\u1ea1y c\u1ee7a Ch\u00faa Gi\u00easu. N\u00f3 kh\u00e1c l\u00e0m sao v\u1edbi c\u00e1ch l\u00e0m c\u1ee7a th\u1ebf gian-N\u00f3 ngh\u1ecbch l\u00fd v\u1edbi nh\u1eefng g\u00ec ch\u00fang ta th\u1ea5y quanh ta, h\u00e3y xem \u0111o\u1ea1n v\u00ed d\u1ee5 sau<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #339966;\"><strong>\u201cTh\u1ea7y n\u00f3i v\u1edbi anh em l\u00e0 nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u0111ang nghe Th\u1ea7y \u0111\u00e2y: h\u00e3y y\u00eau k\u1ebb th\u00f9 v\u00e0 l\u00e0m \u01a1n cho k\u1ebb gh\u00e9t anh em, (28) h\u00e3y ch\u00fac l\u00e0nh cho k\u1ebb nguy\u1ec1n r\u1ee7a anh em v\u00e0 c\u1ea7u nguy\u1ec7n cho k\u1ebb vu kh\u1ed1ng anh em. (29) Ai v\u1ea3 anh m\u00e1 b\u00ean n\u00e0y, th\u00ec h\u00e3y gi\u01a1 c\u1ea3 m\u00e1 b\u00ean kia n\u1eefa. Ai \u0111o\u1ea1t \u00e1o ngo\u00e0i c\u1ee7a anh, th\u00ec c\u0169ng \u0111\u1eebng c\u1ea3n n\u00f3 l\u1ea5y \u00e1o trong. (30) Anh em mu\u1ed1n h\u00e3y cho, ai l\u1ea5y c\u00e1i g\u00ec c\u1ee7a anh, th\u00ec \u0111\u1eebng \u0111\u00f2i l\u1ea1i..\u201d Luka 6 27:30.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u201c<span style=\"color: #3366ff;\">BUT I SAY TO YOU WHO HEAR: LOVE YOUR ENEMIES, DO GOOD TO THOSE WHO HATE YOU,<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #3366ff;\"><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #3366ff;\"><strong>\u201cBLESS THOSE WHO CURSE YOU, AND PRAY FOR THOSE WHO SPITEFULLY USE YOU,<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #3366ff;\"><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #3366ff;\"><strong>\u201cTO HIM WHO STRIKES YOU ON ONE CHEEK, OFFER THE OTHER ALSO.\u00a0 \u00a0AND FROM HIM WHO TAKES AWAY YOUR CLOAK, DO NOT WITHHOLD YOUR TUNIC EITHER,<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #3366ff;\"><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #3366ff;\"><strong>\u201dGIVE TO EVERY ONE WHO ASKS OF YOU.\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0AND FROM HIM WHO TAKES AWAY YOUR GOODS DO NOT ASK THEM BACK.<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #3366ff;\"><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #3366ff;\"><strong>\u201cAND JUST AS YOU WANT MEN TO DO TO YOU, YOU ALSO DO TO THEM LIKEWISE.\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Luke 6:27-30<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Ch\u00fang ta \u0111\u00e3 nghe v\u1ec1 \u0111o\u1ea1n n\u00e0y l\u00fac n\u00e0y hay l\u00fac kh\u00e1c r\u1ed3i, ngay c\u1ea3 t\u00f4i n\u1eefa. Nh\u01b0ng\u00a0 n\u00f3 ho\u00e0n to\u00e0n ng\u01b0\u1ee3c \u0111\u1eddi v\u1edbi t\u00f4i nh\u01b0 nh\u1eefng kit\u00f4 h\u1eefu s\u01a1 khai khi nghe Ch\u00faa n\u00f3i.Trong cu\u1ed9c ly th\u00e2n,\u00a0 lu\u00f4n l\u00e0m cho t\u00f4i b\u1ecb x\u00fac ph\u1ea1m h\u01a1n l\u00e0 s\u1ef1 thanh th\u1ea3n. \u0110\u00f3i v\u1edbi ch\u00fang\u00a0 ta, n\u00f3 th\u1eadt kh\u00e1c bi\u1ec7t. Th\u01b0\u1eddng n\u00f3 ph\u1ee7 nh\u1eadn m\u1ed9t s\u1ed1 \u0111\u1eb7c t\u00ednh m\u00e0 n\u00f3 x\u00fac ph\u1ea1m. \u0110\u1ed1i v\u1edbi t\u00f4i, n\u00f3 ch\u00ednh l\u00e0 vi\u1ec7c t\u00e1ch kh\u1ecfi con c\u00e1i.V\u00e0 c\u00f3 nh\u1eefng l\u1eddi d\u1ea1y c\u1ee7a Ch\u00faa \u0111\u00e3 ch\u1ec9 ra trong m\u1ed9t h\u01b0\u1edbng d\u1eabn \u0111\u1ea7y \u0111\u1ee7 kh\u00e1c. Trong cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1ea5u n\u00e0y t\u00f4i c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y \u0110\u1ee9c tin c\u1ee7a t\u00f4i nh\u01b0 b\u1ecb x\u00e9 v\u1ee5n ra. N\u00f3 l\u00e0m t\u00f4i m\u1ea5t m\u1ed9t th\u1eddi gian d\u00e0i ng\u00e1n ng\u1ea9m \u0111\u1ec3 nh\u1eadn ra c\u1ea5p \u0111\u1ed9 \u0110\u1ee9c tin m\u1edbi c\u1ee7a t\u00f4i \u0111ang b\u1ecb th\u1eed th\u00e1ch. N\u00f3 c\u00f2n l\u00e0m cho t\u00f4i m\u1ea5t nhi\u1ec1u th\u1eddi gian h\u01a1n n\u1eefa \u0111\u1ec3 nh\u1eadn ra r\u1eb1ng vi\u1ec7c th\u1eed th\u00e1ch ch\u1edd \u0111\u1ee3i n\u00e0y r\u1ea5t c\u1ea7n thi\u1ebft \u0111\u1ec3 t\u1ea1o ra t\u00ednh ki\u00ean tr\u00ec, nh\u1eabn l\u1ea1i v\u00e0 ki\u00ean nh\u1eabn. Ch\u00faa l\u00e0 \u0111\u1ea5ng trung th\u1ef1c. Ch\u00faa \u0111\u00e3 gi\u00fap t\u00f4i b\u1eb1ng c\u00e1ch n\u00e0y hay c\u00e1ch kh\u00e1c, m\u1ed9t c\u00e1ch tinh t\u1ebf. Ng\u00e0i \u0111\u00e3 l\u00e0m cho t\u00f4i th\u1ea5m nhu\u1ea7n m\u1ed9t t\u01b0 t\u01b0\u1edfng kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i chi\u1ebfn \u0111\u1ea5u v\u00f3i ng\u01b0\u1eddi v\u1ee3 c\u1ee7a t\u00f4i, c\u00f4 c\u0169ng ch\u1ec9 l\u00e0 n\u1ea1n nh\u00e2n nh\u01b0 t\u00f4i m\u00e0 th\u00f4i. Ch\u00fang t\u00f4i \u0111\u1ec1u \u0111\u1ef1\u01a1c trang b\u1ecb nh\u1eefng l\u00fd l\u1ebd m\u1edbi \u0111\u1ec3 chi\u00e9n \u0111\u1ea5u l\u00e2u d\u00e0i v\u00e0 c\u00f2n ti\u1ebfn xa h\u01a1n n\u1eefa v\u1edbi c\u01b0\u1eddng \u0111\u1ed9\u00a0 k\u1ecbch li\u1ec7t h\u01a1n. T\u00ecnh tr\u1ea1ng c\u1ea3m x\u00fac l\u1ed9n x\u1ed9n n\u00e0y \u0111\u00e3 \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c \u0111\u01b0a th\u1eb3ng t\u1edbi t\u00e2m h\u1ed3n v\u00e0 t\u00e2m tr\u00ed c\u1ee7a t\u00f4i b\u1edfi m\u1ed9t k\u1ebb th\u00f9 gi\u1ea5u m\u1eb7t. Nhi\u1ec1u l\u1ea7m t\u00f4i th\u1ea5y n\u00f3 kh\u00f4ng v\u1eadt l\u1ed9n theo ki\u1ec3u x\u00e1c th\u1ecbt nh\u01b0ng ki\u1ec3u l\u00e1u c\u00e1 c\u1ee7a ma qu\u1ef7, n\u00f3 \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c x\u00e1c \u0111\u1ecbnh \u0111\u1ec3 l\u00e0m t\u00e0n ph\u1ebf cu\u1ed9c h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n n\u00f3i chung v\u00e0 cu\u1ed9c h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang t\u00f4i ch\u1ec9 x\u1ea3y ra \u0111\u1ec3 kh\u00f4ng th\u1ec3 ch\u1ed1ng \u0111\u1ee1 \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c nh\u1eefng \u0111\u1ee3t t\u1ea5n c\u00f4ng li\u00ean h\u1ed3i-V\u00e0 v\u00ec th\u1ebf, quan \u0111i\u1ec3m \u0111\u1ef1\u01a1c h\u00ecnh th\u00e0nh. Sau \u2018V\u1ebft t\u00edch th\u1ee9 hai\u2019 n\u00e0y, v\u1ebft t\u00edch \u0110\u1ee9c tin tr\u1edf n\u00ean \u0103n s\u00e2u h\u01a1n nhi\u1ec1u v\u00e0o c\u00e1ch suy ngh\u0129 c\u1ee7a t\u00f4i. T\u00f4i b\u1eaft \u0111\u1ea7u b\u0103n kho\u0103n, l\u00e0m th\u1ebf n\u00e0o m\u00e0 \u2018V\u1ebft t\u00edch th\u1ee9 nh\u1ea5t\u2019\u00a0 l\u1ea1i c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 \u0103n kh\u1edbp v\u00e0o c\u00e1ch suy ngh\u0129 c\u1ee7a t\u00f4i? Hay n\u00f3 \u0111\u00e3 b\u1ecb t\u1eeb b\u1ecf\u00a0 b\u1edfi t\u00f4i \u0111\u00e3 t\u00ecnh c\u1edd g\u1eb7p l\u1ea1i\u00a0 v\u00e0 \u0111i\u1ec1u g\u00ec \u0111\u00f3 cao qu\u00fd h\u01a1n? Ch\u00faa th\u1eadt \u00e2n c\u1ea7n. D\u1ea7n d\u1ea7n t\u00f4i hi\u1ec3u ra r\u1eb1ng hai v\u1ebft t\u00edch c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 th\u1ef1c hi\u1ec7n \u0111\u1ef1\u01a1c. M\u1ed9t c\u00e1ch ,ch\u00fang t\u00f4i c\u00f3 l\u1eddi d\u1ea1y c\u1ee7a Ch\u00faa. C\u00e1ch kh\u00e1c ch\u00fang t\u00f4i c\u00f3 t\u00e0i n\u0103ng thi\u00ean ph\u00fa. M\u1ed7i con ng\u01b0\u1eddi ch\u00fang ta \u0111\u1ec1u c\u00f3 m\u1ed9t t\u00e0i n\u0103ng m\u00e0 Ch\u00faa \u0111\u00e3 ban t\u1eb7ng, nh\u1eefng kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng tr\u1ea7n t\u1ee5c. V\u00ed d\u1ee5: M\u1ed9t s\u1ed1 kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng v\u1ec1 k\u1ef9 x\u1ea3o hay n\u0103ng khi\u1ebfu \u00e2m nh\u1ea1c, th\u1ec3 thao, ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c th\u00ec c\u00f3 long nh\u00e2n h\u1eadu, k\u1ebb v\u1ec1 y h\u1ecdc. Ch\u00faa ban t\u1eb7ng cho ch\u00fang ta nh\u1eefng k\u1ef9 n\u0103ng v\u00e0 n\u0103ng khi\u1ebfu \u0111\u1ec3 d\u00f9ng, v\u1edbi m\u1ee5c \u0111\u00edch l\u00e0 cho\u00a0 ch\u00fang ta c\u00f3 quy\u1ec1n s\u1ed1ng theo k\u1ebf ho\u1ea1ch m\u00e0 Ch\u00faa \u0111\u00e3 v\u1ea1ch ra trong cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1eddi. \u2018Con \u0111\u01b0\u1eddng \u0110\u1ee9c tin c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang ta l\u00e0 cao qu\u00fd\u2019\u00a0 v\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c xung \u0111\u1ed9t v\u1edbi nh\u1eefng t\u00e0i n\u0103ng thi\u00ean ph\u00fa tr\u1ea7n gian c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang ta . Ch\u00fang ta ph\u1ea3i hi\u1ec3u r\u1eb1ng m\u1ee5c ti\u00eau ch\u00ednh c\u1ee7a \u0111\u00edch \u0111\u1ebfn c\u1ee7a ch\u00fang ta\u00a0 trong cu\u1ed9c \u0111\u1eddi\u00a0 l\u00e0 \u0111\u1ecbnh h\u01b0\u1edbng c\u00e1ch suy ngh\u0129 c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh \u0111\u1ec3 th\u1ef1c hi\u1ec7n \u00fd \u0111\u1ecbnh c\u1ee7a Ch\u00faa. Quan \u0111i\u1ec3m n\u00e0y t\u00f4i \u0111\u00e3 l\u0129nh h\u1ed9 trong khi \u0111ang t\u00ecm ki\u1ebfm qua \u0111o\u1ea1n Kinh th\u00e1nh<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #339966;\"><strong>\u201cL\u1eddi k\u1ebft lu\u1eadn cho t\u1ea5t c\u1ea3 m\u1ecdi \u0111i\u1ec1u b\u1ea1n \u0111\u00e3 nghe \u1edf tr\u00ean \u0111\u00e2y l\u00e0: h\u00e3y k\u00ednh s\u1ee3 Thi\u00ean Ch\u00faa v\u00e0 tu\u00e2n gi\u1eef c\u00e1c m\u1ec7nh l\u1ec7nh Ng\u01b0\u1eddi truy\u1ec1n, \u0111\u00f3 l\u00e0 t\u1ea5t c\u1ea3 \u0111\u1ea1o l\u00e0m ng\u01b0\u1eddi, v\u00ec Thi\u00ean Ch\u00faa s\u1ebd \u0111\u01b0a ra x\u00e9t x\u1eed t\u1ea5t c\u1ea3 m\u1ecdi h\u00e0nh vi, k\u1ec3 c\u1ea3 nh\u1eefng \u0111i\u1ec1u ti\u1ec1m \u1ea9n, t\u1ed1t c\u0169ng nh\u01b0 x\u1ea5u.\u201d Gi\u1ea3ng vi\u00ean 12: 13-14 <\/strong><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #3366ff;\"><strong>\u201cLET US HEAR THE CONCLUSION OF THE WHOLE MATTER: FEAR GOD AND KEEP HIS COMMANDMENTS, FOR THIS IS THE WHOLE DUTY OF MAN. FOR GOD WILL BRING EVERY WORK INTO JUDGMENT, INCLUDING EVERY SECRET THING, WHETHER IT IS GOOD OR WHETHER IT IS EVIL.\u201d \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0ECCLESIASTES 12: 13-14<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>V\u1edbi qua \u0111i\u1ec3m m\u1edbi n\u00e0y, t\u00f4i \u0111\u00e3 \u0111\u01b0a c\u1ea3 hai t\u01b0 duy tr\u1ea7n t\u1ee5c v\u00e0 Kinh Th\u00e1nh v\u00e0o\u00a0 b\u1ea3n v\u0103n n\u00e0y. T\u00f4i kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0\u00a0 m\u1ed9t \u00f4ng Cha thuy\u1ebft gi\u1ea3ng, t\u00f4i ch\u1ec9 l\u00e0 m\u1ed9t gi\u00e1o d\u00e2n\u00a0 ph\u1ea3i \u0111\u01b0\u01a1ng \u0111\u1ea7u m\u1ed9t c\u00e1ch kh\u00f3 kh\u0103n v\u1edbi l\u1eddi d\u1ea1y c\u1ee7a Kinh Th\u00e1nh. L\u00e0 m\u1ed9t gi\u00e1o d\u00e2n b\u00ecnh th\u01b0\u1eddng \u0111ang kh\u00e1m ph\u00e1 ra m\u1ed9t \u00fd ngh\u0129a c\u1ee7a l\u1eddi d\u1ea1y trong Kinh th\u00e1nh nh\u01b0 m\u1ed9t k\u1ef9 thu\u1eadt vi\u00ean tr\u1ea7n t\u1ee5c, t\u00f4i \u0111\u00e3 th\u1eed nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u Kinh th\u00e1nh v\u00e0 vi\u1ebft ch\u00fang\u00a0 tr\u00ean nh\u1eefng trang gi\u1ea5y. T\u00f4i hy v\u1ecdng\u00a0 nh\u1eefng g\u00ec \u0111\u00e3 gi\u00fap cho t\u00f4i th\u00ec c\u0169ng mu\u1ed1n chia s\u1ebb v\u1edbi ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c.<\/p>\n<p>V\u1edbi vi\u1ec7c gia c\u1ed1 th\u00eam t\u1ea7m nh\u00ecn v\u1ec1 Ch\u00faa. T\u00f4i \u0111\u1ecdc k\u1ef9 h\u01a1n\u00a0 \u0111\u1ec3 bi\u1ebft \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c \u201cGi\u00e1o ph\u00e1i\u201d dung t\u1ee5c v\u00e0 ph\u00e1 ph\u00e1ch l\u00e0 c\u00e1i g\u00ec. Theo \u0111\u00f3, t\u00f4i \u0111\u00e3 kh\u00e1m ph\u00e1 nhi\u1ec1u \u0111i\u1ec1u th\u00fa v\u1ecb \u201cNh\u1eefng m\u1ea9u kinh nghi\u1ec7m\u201d. Qua nh\u1eefng kinh nghi\u1ec7m n\u00e0y\u00a0 n\u00f3 hi\u1ec7n ra m\u1ed9t b\u1ee9c\u00a0 kh\u1ea3m nhi\u1ec1u m\u1ea7u s\u1eafc. \u0110\u00f3 l\u00e0 b\u1ee9c kh\u1ea3m v\u1ec1 t\u01b0 t\u01b0\u1edfng m\u00e0 t\u00f4i \u0111\u00e3 c\u1ed1 g\u1eafng tr\u1ea3i ra kh\u1eafp c\u00e1c ch\u01b0\u01a1ng\u00a0 trong cu\u1ed1n s\u00e1ch.\u00a0 Nh\u1eefng g\u00ec t\u00f4i \u0111\u01b0a v\u00e0o s\u00e1ch n\u00e0y l\u00e0 \u0111\u1ec3 g\u0103n ch\u1eb7n m\u1ed9t c\u00e1ch th\u1ee9c hay c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 l\u00e0 \u0111i\u1ec1u g\u00ec \u0111\u00f3 b\u00ed \u1ea9n c\u1ee7a ch\u00ednh t\u00f4i d\u1ef1 \u0111\u1ecbnh \u0111\u1ec3 v\u01b0\u1ee3t qua\u00a0 s\u1ef1 c\u0103ng th\u1eb3ng c\u1ee7a vi\u1ec7c ly h\u00f4n. T\u00f4i \u0111\u00e3 n\u00f3i \u201cT\u00f4i s\u1ebd nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u theo c\u00e1ch c\u1ee7a t\u00f4i qua nh\u1eefng tr\u01b0\u1eddng h\u1ee3p v\u00e0 s\u1ef1 s\u1eedng s\u1ed1t c\u1ee7a ly h\u00f4n v\u00e0 sau \u0111\u00f3\u00a0 c\u1ed1 th\u1eed h\u1ecdc c\u00e1ch tr\u1edf th\u00e0nh ng\u01b0\u1eddi ch\u1ed3ng t\u1ed1t h\u01a1n. Ch\u1ec9 v\u00e0i n\u00e9t ch\u1eef xo\u00e0ng tr\u00ean g\u1ea5y s\u1ebd t\u1ea1o ra m\u1ed9t kh\u1edfi \u0111\u1ed9ng \u0111\u1ea7u ti\u00ean \u0111\u1ec3 nh\u1eefng g\u00ec t\u00f4i hy v\u1ecdng s\u1ebd ph\u00e1t tri\u1ec3n h\u01a1n n\u1eefa trong cu\u1ed1n s\u00e1ch n\u00e0y.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>==============================<\/p>\n<p>3 CONFLICT AND SURPRISES<\/p>\n<p>This chapter deals with confusion \u2013 the search for explanations \u2013 the difficulty to describe what is going on \u2013 the struggle to find meaningful answers.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>SURPRISES<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Before we plunge into marriage a relationship which is the main theme of this book, I would like to broach the surprises of marriage separation. I am writing this chapter because there is always an element of surprise when a marriage breaks up. Like me, many people first begin to read about marriage after their marriage has been threatened or worse still, after it was already on the rocks. Before that, they blissfully believe in the aura that their marriage is composed of the things that \u2018Golden Anniversaries\u2019 are made of. Many realize that their married life does not seem rosy any more. They thought it would last forever. There was a time when the two yearned to be together, tiny separations of going away seemed so long. The thought of no telephone was unbearable. All that seem to be changing and disharmony seems to be becoming more frequent. Disharmony has many ways of setting in, arguments become more frequent, a certain cleft in the relationship develops, that is when the first signs of SURPRISE begin. It is very unnerving to realize that this surprise is real. This chapter relates to the surprises as I\u00a0saw them. Maybe, one or the other will find his or her footprints along the same pathways. It is always a reassuring feeling, when we know that we are not the only one on this confusing journey across the ocean of non- expectations.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>It is not always easy to formulate the language of the heart with words of the mind, and this is essentially what makes it difficult to describe the surprises of marital separation. The wounds and negative happenings that comes from where love abounded causes us to be taken aback in surprise. This strain escalates to a point where pain is a constant accompaniment and all lessons are hard. We begin to ask our self, How did love change to indifference and anger?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>In general, life has many surprises, we must always remember this otherwise we will not have the correct attitude when things change. Life and living is dynamic there are many reasons why things will change. Our lives will experience changes \u2013 it is a certainty. For instance a girl may dream of marrying a rich, handsome and healthy man. This dream may actually come true. But there is no life-long guarantee that these traits will remain. A reverse of business, an accident,\u00a0or any one of so many different things can make things quite the opposite. This may not have anything to do with wrong speculation, recklessness or foolhardiness. These disappointments can be because of dynamic changes that are happening, and, which are beyond our control.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>TRYING TO FIND REASONS<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>When surprises occur and when we have recovered sufficiently, our human urge is to try to explain it. People do this by trying to find a reason. \u00a0If they don\u2019t find the reason, they will try to assign a reason \u00ad and then carry on. The assigning of a reason is like some kind of an \u201cX Variable\u201d in algebra. We insert a reason or an \u201cX Variable\u201d because it helps the human being in us, to carry on. This faculty is truly a remarkable ability in human beings. Without this ability, we would simply stop like a Programmable Logic Controller waiting for an, all clear; input signals to sequence forward. In clear text, we would have all got stuck and come to a standstill right at infancy. In a way, life must go on regardless of whether there are surprises or no surprises. This, \u2018carrying on\u2019 leads to a series of EXPERIENCES.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>All the experiences that fit in with the reasons are \u2018filed\u2019 into memory as, \u2018Confirmations\u2019; or as, \u2018Re-confirmations\u2019.\u00a0 The reasons continue in that status until a surprise sets in. This provokes new reasons to be found; or new reasons to be assigned. If the new reasons are found correct, either \u2018change\u2019 may occur, or \u2018acceptance\u2019 will follow.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>So like life in general, marriage, which is a part of life, brings a series of experiences, some of which are surprising. The same is true of marriage separation. When these experiences do not concern us fully or we do not find proper reasons or explanations, we label them as \u2018Impressions\u2019. On the other hand if they concern us, we label them as \u2018Feelings\u2019.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>CATEGORIZING<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>My first impressions about marriage separation were based on a kind of, Hollywood Style marriage. I was fully certain that this only happens on the silver screen. As the years rolled on, new impressions were generated by new surprises. My first revisions were initiated by the News Media. Without giving too much thought, two separate categories were formed and all marriage separations were \u2018filed\u2019 under one or the other.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>These two categories were:<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>People who made headlines, like Actors, Actresses, Politicians, Business Tycoons and people with flamboyant occupations are susceptible to marriage separation.People belonging to certain broad headings like people of a country, religion, social standing, etc. \u00a0For example, People from western countries are more likely to divorce than Asians, for example. We get these impressions from somewhere, \u2013 perhaps the TV.<\/p>\n<p>The difference between these two categories is: One category consists of individuals, while the other consists of groups.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>As far as I was concerned, marriage separation seemed a very distant world for me and I never gave it much thought or attention until suddenly, out of the blue, a friend of mine confided to me that they were divorced. A lot of sensation was created. This did not fit into my impressions about marriage separation, and, I was surprised.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Before long other people known to us, divorced. This brought the reality home that the boundaries of my impressions had to be once again re-defined. This was a painful experience. Firstly these people were my friend\u2019s \u00ad I lived with them in the same town, studied with them. I was their confident during their courtship days, attended their weddings, and witnessed all the marriage recommendations that they so freely gave to any and every one who would be willing to listen. I even photographed their wedding and their baby\u2019s christenings. It was indeed shocking news.\u00a0 It was a surprise! Secondly, I also began to wonder, How did love change into indifference and anger?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>THE DOUBLE STANDARDS<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I went through the phase and experience when, other friends and I tried to patch things up. Lots of time and energies were devoted towards trying to restore the friend\u2019s marriage. Strangely, both husband and wife seem to agree with the reasoning that was put forth. They even appreciated the efforts of friends and relatives. In fact it went further, they gave the impression that they would have voiced similar, if not the same suggestions. But then why were they acting indifferently? How could a person be of one opinion in general situations and yet be down right obstinate when it came to their spouse or their marriage? This behavioral pattern was a mystery for me. I filed this impression some where in my mind, under the heading, \u2018Strange Pattern\u2019, and didn\u2019t bother to try and analyze it completely. There were times, however, when I did wonder, how such a behavior could ever be possible. In almost all the cases I knew both partners well, and, for a number of years. In almost all the cases both partners were well above average in every aspect, like: intelligence, adjustment, profession, job,<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Education, money, family background. In fact both were practicing the same religion reasonably well. To make thing even more baffling neither had any open or secret vices like drinking, gambling, card playing, etc. Over a period of time many additional break ups took place, and sadly I had to include these friends into a third category labeled as, Vulnerable to Marriage Separation.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>While all these Marriage Hazards were taking place, I Was surprised. felt my marriage could weather any storm \u00ad and this gave me a feeling of safety. After all I had categorized various people or groups into watertight categories and I was certainly not among them nor was my wife among them. \u00ad My reasoning was: We were not famous people; we were not a part of the Hollywood crowd. Besides both of us are from a community in India were Marriage Separation was a foreign word, even in our frame of thinking. Whenever talk on this subject came up, subtly my tone of voice would seem to impart an intonation like, \u2018this happens elsewhere\u2019, \u2018this is possible with others\u2019, and thereby unconsciously believing, that my marriage is shatter-proof. Of course there were moments of turbulence, but then these were regarded as water soft waves dashing against solid rock. And then, after 11 \u00bd years we found ourselves separated and I asked myself, \u201cIs this real? Is this really happening to me?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>IS THIS REAL<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Before we fully realized what was happening, we found ourselves spiraling downwards into a vortex they call \u2018Marriage Breakdown\u2019. It seemed as though our bindings were snapping away, our respect of each other was eroding very rapidly, a kind of hate was pushing love out, and intolerance became the rule of the day and each attempt of goodness back fired in a nasty way. We were sinking into some unfriendly limbo. There were mixed reactions \u00ad on one side we did not want to believe that we were not mere spectators any more \u00ad we were the actual victims of whatever causes marriage breakdowns! On the other side we were grabbing at every straw that propounded hope. I suppose in a way, under the circumstances, every one would do just that.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>CARRY ON<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Man\u2019s nature goes beyond inference \u00ad He \u2018Carries On\u2019. Some would reach for their intelligence, others to reasoning, others to threats, others to prevent access to children, others to power or whatever else is available. Another of man\u2019s abilities besides \u2018carrying on\u2019, is to attempt a different strategy in the hope that something different will bring better results, especially when a set back was experienced. So in a way it is quite natural that many different approaches towards solving a problem are attempted. In spite of many attempts to approach a problem, some trait is bound to stand out more prominently. This prominence or preference is something personal to a particular individual. It is nice and perhaps very interesting if you can find out something more about yourself in a natural way, because, just as the good things in life bring out certain facets about yourself,\u00a0adversity also does the same. We should try to know about ourselves, so that we can correct our weaknesses and improve the stronger areas of our personalities. \u00ad And thereby become better partners to our spouses. At least we should attempt to try and examine ourselves in order to improve our marriage relationship. In my case at least two things seemed to emerge more prominently out of the crisis, confusion and surprises, of my situation.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I tried to analyze everything and put them into a structure. (Later, in the course of my investigations on this subject of marriage, I found this to be a typical male trait).The second trait was that I was able to strengthen my binding with God\u2019s teaching. Speaking in a pure technical sense this sentence should be re-worded to read, \u201cGod was kind enough to allow me to have a binding to His teachings through Faith.\u201d I never knew I could turn to God this way, I didn\u2019t know this about myself. I consider it to be a windfall, to have received this Grace from God, because I really do not know what I would have done without it.<\/p>\n<p>I began to think about these two traits. The first one seemed to fall rather naturally into something that was, me, Maybe, it came naturally because we bring a lot of psychological baggage with us. For me, my education was done in Germany \u00ad the land of the thinkers. My profession is technical.\u00a0 My occupation is technical consultancy. My projects are specially designed machines, to suit customer requirements. It may be fair to say I have a fair amount of analyzing to do every day.\u00a0 Basically, I enjoy it.\u00a0 So I have a strong inclination to try and structurize problems, even if they concern personal matters. In fact I would even go one step further to say, I believe analysis is necessary, otherwise life would become a total chaos.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>TRACKS<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>For a long time I thought that the solution lay somewhere on a \u2018one-track line\u2019. I was determined to find it though, thinking my way, to the solution. During that period of time I wrote the following lines to a friend of mine:<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy is it that parents, who should have the very best interest in their children, willfully separate from each other? All people I ask this question find it is a riddle. In this riddle I also find myself. We try to offer explanations by saying because, this, because, that, because, something else.\u00a0 I am now forced to think about it. I am rather pre-occupied with this topic. I ask myself what has actually happened? Everyone knows that separation is disadvantageous, especially for the children. Every parent agrees to it, and in spite of it, they carry it out. This element that breaks up a marriage must have a very powerful attack capability and must be very crafty, \u00adBecause it destroys the family from the inside! If the attack came from outside the family members would have held closer and tighter together, and they would encourage each other to \u2018Hold On\u2019. The Church teaching of, \u201cthe family that prays together, stays together\u201d, is something I heard many times but I never thought much about it until our own crises\u2026.\u00a0 .<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIn the reality this marriage-breaking element can appear either suddenly or gradually in one\u2019s life. If we take the trouble to look around, we see marriage problems with the rich as well as the poor. Rich and poor are opposite! It can attack young or old couples. Again we see opposite! Whether the wife works or not, whether the husband is a drunkard or not.\u00a0 .\u00a0 . Like these points, we can consider any aspect of human ability or inability, and yet we find that man can become vulnerable to separation. The question is: Are the elements of profession, money, drinking, in laws etc. the actual reasons or are they just an illusionary facade for something else? Are these reasons, which we mentioned above, just a kind of a \u2018Red- Herring\u2019 or a decoy to steer our attention away from the real reason? There is undoubtedly much more behind the curtain of life, than just simple reasons like drinks, money, etc. Otherwise it would just not be possible that opposite cases produce the same separating results. There has simply got to be a common denominator somewhere. \u00adA very sly denominator that has not only concealed its self, but is also clever enough to understand man\u2019s basic nature \u2013 that this nature needs to, find reasons, in order to \u2018carry-on\u2019 or it has to, \u2018assign\u2019 reasons so that it can \u2018carry-on\u2019. This evil force has the capacity to keep people fully occupied with the task of searching elsewhere. \u00a0It is crafty enough to use this fact and distract the person by pointing towards money, drinks, faults in the partner, in-laws etc.\u00a0 , and thereby remain undetected. Maybe, it sounds philosophical, But.\u00a0 .\u00a0 .\u00a0 \u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>And so the search for the common denominator began.\u00a0 .\u00a0 .<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>For a long time, I spent effort and time to find this so called denominator. One day a thought came into my mind that the solution may not be on a one- track line, as my pre-conception was. That is when I began to examine the possibility of a, second track. Here is when I realized that Faith in God could NOT be avoided \u00ad without Faith in God a total hash will result out of the situation. This would be to the detriment of all concerned. It would impel us to the stage where all of us would become losers- \u00ad the husband, the wife, the children.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Since birth, I was a dutiful Roman Catholic, so, faith in God was not difficult for me to accept, but I was surprised how difficult it was to live it in a real sense. This was the first time; I actually experienced what his disciples must experience when they heard Jesus Christ\u2019s teachings. How different it was from the thinking of the world \u00ad it was paradoxical to what we find all around us, take for instance the following passage:<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #3366ff;\">\u201cBUT I SAY TO YOU WHO HEAR: LOVE YOUR ENEMIES, DO GOOD TO THOSE WHO HATE YOU,<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #3366ff;\">\u201cBLESS THOSE WHO CURSE YOU, AND PRAY FOR THOSE WHO SPITEFULLY USE YOU,<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #3366ff;\">\u201cTO HIM WHO STRIKES YOU ON ONE CHEEK, OFFER THE OTHER ALSO. AND FROM HIM WHO TAKES AWAY YOUR CLOAK, DO NOT WITHHOLD YOUR TUNIC EITHER,<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #3366ff;\">\u201dGIVE TO EVERY ONE WHO ASKS OF YOU. \u00a0AND FROM HIM WHO TAKES AWAY YOUR GOODS DO NOT ASK THEM BACK.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #3366ff;\">\u201cAND JUST AS YOU WANT MEN TO DO TO YOU, YOU ALSO DO TO THEM LIKEWISE.\u201d \u00a0Luke 6:27-30<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #993300;\">27 \u201eEuch, die ihr mir zuh\u00f6rt, sage ich: Liebt eure Feinde; tut denen Gutes, die euch hassen.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #993300;\">28 Segnet die, die euch verfluchen; betet f\u00fcr die, die euch misshandeln.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #993300;\">29 Dem, der dich auf die eine Wange schl\u00e4gt, halt auch die andere hin, und dem, der dir den Mantel wegnimmt, lass auch das Hemd.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #993300;\">30 Gib jedem, der dich bittet; und wenn dir jemand etwas wegnimmt, verlang es nicht zur\u00fcck.\u201c\u00a0 Lukas 6:27-30<\/span><\/p>\n<p>We have all heard this passage at sometime or the other, even I. But it was as much a paradox for me as it was for the early Christians who heard Christ say it. In a marriage separation there is always something that hurts more than all the rest. For all of us it is different. Usually it is a denial of some kind that hurts.\u00a0 For me, it was the separation from the children. And there was God\u2019s teachings pointing in another direction altogether. In this struggle I felt as though my faith was, being torn to pieces. It took me an awful long time to realize that my new level of faith was being tested. It took me even more time to realize that this trial of waiting was necessary to produce perseverance, endurance and patience.\u00a0 God was faithful. He helped me. Some how in some subtle way, He instilled an attitude, that it is not this wife of mine, who I am contending with. She is merely a victim, just as I was. \u00a0Each of us was being given new ammunition to fight longer, further and with more vehemence. This emotional turmoil was being supplied straight to the mind and heart by an unseen enemy.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Many times I felt it was not wrestling with flesh and blood but with some other clever kind of evil, that was determined to wreck marriage in general, and our marriage just happened to succumb to the battering attacks- and so, with this new attitude the \u2018Second Track\u2019 was formed.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>After this \u2018Second Track\u2019, the track of faith became more deeply ingrained into my thinking. I began to wonder how does my \u2018First Track\u2019 the track of thinking, fit in? Or has it to be abandoned because I have come across something loftier. Again God was kind. I gradually came to understand that the two tracks could easily be possible. On one track we have God Teaching and on the other track we have an endowment.\u00a0 Each one of us human beings has an endowment because God has given to each one of us some worldly abilities. For example, some may have skills or talent in music, others in sport, and others in warm heartedness, others in medicine. He gave us these skills or talents for us to use, so as to enable us to live the plan He has for our lives. The \u2018Track of our Faith in God\u2019 is top priority and must not conflict with our worldly endowments. We must only be clear that the main objective of our purpose in life is to orient our thinking, to do His will. This point came home to me one day while I was searching through the Bible. The passage reads as:<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #3366ff;\">\u201cLET US HEAR THE CONCLUSION OF THE WHOLE MATTER: FEAR GOD AND KEEP HIS COMMANDMENTS, FOR THIS IS THE WHOLE DUTY OF MAN. FOR GOD WILL BRING EVERY WORK INTO JUDGMENT, INCLUDING EVERY SECRET THING, WHETHER IT IS GOOD OR WHETHER IT IS EVIL.\u201d \u00a0ECCLESIASTES 12: 13-14<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #993300;\">13 \u201eHast du alles geh\u00f6rt, so lautet der Schlu\u00df: F\u00fcrchte Gott, und achte auf seine Gebote! Das allein hat jeder Mensch n\u00f6tig.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #993300;\">14 Denn Gott wird jedes Tun vor das Gericht bringen, das \u00fcber alles Verborgene urteilt, es sei gut oder b\u00f6se.\u201c\u00a0 Prediger 12:13-14<\/span><\/p>\n<p>With this new focus, I have tried to bring both the Worldly and the Scriptural contemplations into the text. I am not a priest saying this; I am just a layperson who was confronted with the teaching of scripture. I was an ordinary layperson discovering a meaning to the scripture teachings. As a worldly technician, I have tried to study them and put them down on paper. I hope, what helped me, I can share with others.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>With this reinforced view on God, I perused the search further, as to what this common and devastating \u2018Denominator\u2019 is. Along the way I found many interesting \u2018pieces of experience\u2019. Through these \u2018pieces of experience\u2019 a colorful mosaic emerged. It is this mosaic of thoughts that I attempt to unfurl through the various chapters in this book.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>What I put forth in the rest of this book is in a way, the method or maybe, the secret of what I propose to do, in order to survive the strain of separation. I said, \u201cI am going to, Study my way through the causes and surprises of marriage separation and then try to study how to become a better spouse. The few steps of scribbling on paper will form the initial start to what I hoped will grow into a book.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #cc99ff;\">==================\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>EXPLANATION Translated by:\u00a0 HAI DUC TRAN &nbsp; Ch\u01b0\u01a1ng n\u00e0y \u0111\u1ec1 c\u1eadp t\u1edbi s\u1ef1 B\u1ed1i r\u1ed1i- T\u00ecm ki\u1ebfm l\u1eddi gi\u1ea3i th\u00edch- kh\u00f4ng bi\u1ebft nguy\u00ean nh\u00e2n- \u0111\u00e1p \u00e1n kh\u00f4ng r\u00f5. &nbsp; B\u1ea5t ng\u1edd &nbsp; Tr\u01b0\u1edbc khi b\u00e0n v\u1ec1 \u0111\u1eddi s\u1ed1ng h\u00f4n nh\u00e2n&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.challengedtowin.com\/vi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/325"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.challengedtowin.com\/vi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.challengedtowin.com\/vi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.challengedtowin.com\/vi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.challengedtowin.com\/vi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=325"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.challengedtowin.com\/vi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/325\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":855,"href":"https:\/\/www.challengedtowin.com\/vi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/325\/revisions\/855"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.challengedtowin.com\/vi\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=325"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}